Aug. 11: A letter to the good people at Tide

And now, for your enjoyment, a chuckle-worthy e-mail forward I felt was worth sharing:

Dear Tide,

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all through my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.

After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.

Regards-

Aug. 7: Bon voyage

Girl, you know it's true. Vic and I just decided on our tenth anniversary plans--we'll be going on a Disney cruise! This one will be kid-free.***

If you've been paying attention, you'll remember that we went on a Disney cruise in the Eastern Caribbean in April 2003 (trip report here). On this next trip we'll be on their Western itinerary (Key West, Grand Cayman, Cozumel, Castaway Cay).

And to my ever-optimistic sister, please refrain from mentioning the Titanic or Poseidon Adventure or Jaws or Davy Jones' pet kraken for the next few months, mmkay? Thanks.

More later.

--Jen
***And most definitely chock-ful o' guilt. (Are parents allowed to enjoy Disney vacations without their children???)

Aug. 3: You are now chatting with God

I just found this site that I have to share. It's iGod, and it's hilarious. I asked, "What do you do for fun?" and the response was "Random natural disasters." So it's true!


Bye for now... I need to get back to iGod with my very long list of questions. The guy's got some 'splainin to do.

J.

July 30: A birthday for my first husband

Happy birthday to Victor! He celebrated #42 yesterday by looking at his new mountain bike and trying to get Jack to eat lasagna. What, you can think of a better way to enjoy one's birthday? He and Daryl will have a "real" party next weekend when more of the family is around.

I have a lot to catch up on, but no time to write. But this morning I was reading old blog entries and came across the one about phrases we never thought we'd have to speak. It reminded me of one from Jack's last day of school, when we moms were watching the kids wade through the creek at Happy Valley Park. Several times we actually said, "Please stop poking the dead bunny with the stick!" Yikes.

Also, I just want to say that I think Kraft Macaroni & Cheese is the most perfect food ever created. I've thought so my whole life, and I wanted you to know.

More later, maybe.

--J.

P.S. Happy birthday to my seester tomorrow!

June 7: Remembering Dad

Today is the first anniversary of my dad's death. You're probably thinking you can't believe it was just a year ago, but be assured that the time has done anything but fly for me and Kathy. Even though we've had some really wonderful things happen in the past year, so much of it is overshadowed by the sadness of being unable to share them with Dad. He loved hearing about our projects around the house, traveling, his grandchildren's accomplishments, and so many other things about our busy-ness. There is still such a void without him here.

I've been trying to decide the best way to comemmorate today. I thought about planting a tree in honor of Dad, but for a number of reasons it just doesn't seem like the right thing (besides the fact that he'd forever be pointing down--or up???--at me complaining that I don't weed around it often enough). There hasn't been anything that's hit me as The Perfect Thing. Then this morning I had an epiphany: I'll spend the day, not as Dad would WANT me to, but as HE would've done. So here's what I'll do:

  1. Start the day with coffee at Shari's
  2. Love the New York Yankees, hate all other baseball teams, and fall asleep while watching them play
  3. Be cruel to service people for no good reason
  4. Answer the phone, "Number 72"
  5. Have a really stupid accident that causes me to break at least one bone in my body (OK, I admit it ... I'd be doing this anyway)
  6. Accuse chestnuts of being lazy (no, wait... that's what I would do if Dr. Evil were my father)
  7. Be a Republican (don't worry, I'm not insane, and I'm also not voting, so one day on the dark side won't kill my Democratic Agenda)
  8. Drive down I-5 with a Big Mac in each hand
  9. Throw a few expressions into conversation, like "In a pig's eye..." and "Y'know, there's something to that..."
  10. Tell my family that I love them

Kathy and I paraphrased a few lines from "For Good" (from the Broadway musical "Wicked") for a tribute to Dad that was published in today's Oregonian. If you didn't see it, here's what it looked like.



And if you don't mind indulging a couple of adoring daughters, here are some of our favorite pictures of our dad.


Thanksgiving weekend 1981


Dad teaching Kathy how to use her camera (Jen is unimpressed), 1971


Las Vegas 1998: Jen rubbing Dad's belly for good luck


Daddy meeting Kathy, 19xx (you're welcome, Kath!)


Grandpa meeting Sean, 1987


Yikes! Easter 1973


Katie cuddling with Grandpa Curt, 2003


The Butterfly Kisses moment, 1997


Dad at Crater Lake, 1960ish

Though a year having gone by has dulled the shock of our loss, we still miss him every day. I hate that he's missed out on big events like Stephen's high school graduation. I know he would've loved to hear the details about my 20th high school reunion. He would've wanted to see pictures of Katrina effects from Kathy's trip to the southern U.S. He would have been so proud to have Katie sit in his lap and read her storybooks to him. It's so unfair that he's not here to enjoy these things.

Dad was a funny guy, and had a great appreciation for things that gave him belly laughs. We'll never forget that part of who he was, and that's why we have chosen to remember him today in a way he would've enjoyed: hearing his daughters make fun of him. In no way do we mean to be irreverent; quite honestly, when he died I think a part of me broke inside. But it was humor that always connected the three of us together. And nowadays it's humor that gets me and Kath out of crybaby mode into laughing so hard stuff flies out our noses. (Feel free not to enjoy that image too much.)

Jen

Apr. 8: My HOA should KMA

Hello. I am angry.

I love my homeowner's association. OK, "love" might be a bit strong, but I like them fine. I mean, they made our neighbors repaint their house after a bunch of people complained (semi-gloss electric baby blue is just plain bad decision-making). Generally speaking, our homeowner's association does what it's supposed to do. I certainly do not get my $130 annual dues' worth of work from them, but whatever... when they're really needed they seem to get the job done.

I pay little attention to association matters, because quite frankly, I don't feel a need to. I've never gone to a meeting, never called them to bitch about a neighbor or ask why they haven't painted our curbs in eight years. But last year I happened to read the budget newsletter and discovered that sometime since we moved here in 1997, the HOA hired a community management company to handle our HOA duties. Fine. What bugged me, though, was to find that more than 70 percent of our annual dues go to the management company for their services, while the rest actually pays for stuff done within our community, like that guy that prunes our trees once a year. But this means that 70 percent of that stupid check we write every year goes toward a company that we're paying to accept the stupid check. Does this make sense? I don't think so either!

But again, I don't think it's worth complaining about because it's only $130 and I certainly don't want to take on the responsibility myself. So I begrudgingly write the check every year and forget about it. I've found it keeps my blood pressure at a more normal rate that way.

Enter 2006, and know that I'm turning beet-red as I type this. I sent our payment in January. In February I got a past-due notice from the @#$*^%s at the community management company. I figured my check crossed their letter in the mail, so I ignored it. Then in March I got another past-due notice. So I checked my bank records online and found that the @#$*^%s at the community management company did indeed receive my payment, and in fact cashed it in January. I also saw that the said @#$*^%s deposited my dues into a different HOA fund by transposing the numbers of the HOA id. I printed all this proof out, wrote a snotty note about the importance of keeping accurate records and what do I pay you for, anyway???... and put it in the mail.

After a few days I felt bad about being sorta harsh. I mean, people are allowed to make mistakes (I guess). But that was before today. Today I got two things in the mail from these @#$*^%s. They were the same letter, one sent certified that I had to sign for, and the other sent in the regular mail. Both were threatening to foreclose on our house for non-payment of our HOA dues, as well as informing us that a $45 "delinquency processing fee" (whatever the hell THAT is) had been added to our bill. My blood pressure shot up about 400 points. @#$*^%s, @#$*^%s, @#$*^%s!!

It's possible, I suppose, that my snotty note crossed their letters in the mail. I doubt it, seeing as their office is across town and I sent the letter more than a week ago, but whatever... they obviously had not read my reply before sending off their foreclosure threats. And I noticed they cc'd the HOA board of directors, and goddess knows who else. What do you want to bet that I hear NOTHING back from them when they discover it's THEIR error? What do you want to bet they don't send an "oops!" to the board of directors, who will now forever think those Manullangs are big loser-y delinquents? Again, I say: @#$*^%s, @#$*^%s, @#$*^%s!! So, my neighbors and I are paying a company for their bookkeeping services, even though they apparently cannot write numbers correctly and double-entry accounting is obviously over their pinheads. Remind me why I send these people money, please!

Not surprisingly, I could continue. Surprisingly, I won't (you're welcome). But if anyone out there can give me one good reason for letting these people continue to live, I'd love to hear it. Because I looked at their web site to see a description of services they offer, but all I found was news of their company "events"--Christmas party, summer party, third Tuesday of the month party, dancing in my money party, etc.

There are lots of new pictures on our web site! I finally posted the ones of that beautiful baby Gwendolyn Justine Nelson. Here's a fun fact... if you say her name fast, it just rolls off the tongue like one word: "Gwenelson." Cool, eh? I also added some new ones of the very cherubic Dorothy Frances Gutierrez. I put my nephew Stephen's neato senior portraits on the Voss page. Enjoy.

Have you seen the show "Stranded: with Cash Peters" on the Travel Channel? It's great. He gets dropped off somewhere without any money, and has to mooch off other people until his cameraman decides he's seen enough. This next week Cash is going to Orange County--something tells me he won't get into Disneyland without $$--and Seattle--I'm guessing he'll get a free latte without much begging, and will want to throw fish at Pike Place Market. Both of those ought to be good, since a lot of the times he ends up in very rural or remote areas. I liked the episode where he was in Mongolia or somewheres like that and threw up into a plastic bag, then handed it to a guy he'd befriended, who accepted it and went on his merry way. I'm quite pleased to say I don't know anyone who would do that (puke in a bag OR carry someone else's puke).

It was an exciting week at our house because we got another TiVo. This one, besides being several years newer than our first one, is also a DVD recorder. We can record stuff with TiVo and then burn it to DVDs and it makes us ever so happy. And with both TiVos hooked up to our wireless network, we can use one to watch something recorded on the other. If you don't have TiVo yet, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Do as I say already! Geez. Oh, and when you activate your service tell them I sent you (on tivo.com I'm JLSM97(at)verizon.net).

I'm headed to Boise soon to meet Gwen and Dorothy Frances face-to-face. Are you jealous? Because unless you've already met them, you probably should be.

I'm also going to WWC soon to talk about life as a trainer to JoAnn Wiggins' Training & Development students. This will be the third or fourth time I've done it, and even though it's a lot of work to prepare, I really enjoy it. I always feel re-invigorated and fall in love with my career choice all over again. One of the not-so-fun side effects is that I come home feeling really OLD.

Oh, and speaking of being old... I went to my twentieth high school reunion in February. It was great fun re-connecting with old friends. If you knew any of my classmates, or if you want to look at pictures of people you don't know, feel free to check out our reunion scrapbook at www.paa86.com.

You know I love silly stuff, and you know I love to share. Now you can find some of the images I've posted here and there at manullang.com in one place: Kicks & Giggles. It's a page chock-full of chuckles. And BONUS... here's a chuckle you don't even have to click for:



I'm now two weeks post-LASIK and still very pleased with the results. Driving at night, especially in the rain, is a little scary, but otherwise I don't notice a huge difference from how my vision was with glasses/contacts. I have a follow-up exam this next week, at which I'll get a better idea of exactly how good my vision is now and whether I'll need glasses or contacts, or if I'll eventually need a LASIK enhancement (that means "do-over"). The idea of going through the surgery process again doesn't make me too nervous until I remember the smell of the laser doing its thing: it's like burning hair. Yuck.

OK, it's late and I'm sleepy from all the cursing.

Jen

Mar. 26: I gots me some x-ray vision

I had LASIK surgery on Friday. With the amount of correction I needed (I was nearly a -10), they warned me that I may not have perfect vision immediately, and that I might even have to have it done again eventually. So I was pretty surprised when I woke up yesterday morning and could see VERY clearly! Everything has sort of a "halo" around it, but they say that will probably improve. Vic likes the idea of looking angelic to me, so he's hoping the halo sticks.

The LASIK process was very strange. The only thing that actually hurt was when the doctor was pressing on my brow bone; otherwise, the numbing drops kept me from feeling much of anything. That was cool. Normally if I'm freaked out during any kind of medical procedure, I can close my eyes and go to a happy place, but they frown upon that during eye surgery. Whatever. Although it was mildly uncomfortable, it was over pretty quickly. I was a brave girl.

Yesterday I tossed my alarm clock. I've always had one with two-inch numbers because I've been so blind. I bought one with half-inch numbers, just because I can. That might just be the best part so far. Know what I don't like? Laying in bed and being able to see the cobwebs on the ceiling of our bedroom. Never had that problem before.

I'm trying not to spend too much time staring at the computer for a few days. I'll update again soon with pictures of baby Gwen, new ones of baby Dorothy Frances, and my awesome nephew's senior portraits.

Lovies!

--Jen

Mar. 1: Gwennie's here!

Greg just called!

Debi & Greg Nelson's first child, Gwendolyn Justine Nelson, was born at 10:05 this morning! She weighed 7 lbs, 4 oz, and is 20 inches long, with tons of auburn hair. Debi and the new little sweetheart are doing well. As soon as they e-mail pictures you can be sure to see them on The Nelson Family's page here at manullang.com.

Congratulations!

Feb. 23: Drunk with power

We so totally rock.

After a couple recent phone conversations, I got written confirmation today that our home has been selected as a member of a very elite group. But the letter states, "You, while a member of the panel and for a year after discontinuance of your participation, will not reveal to strangers or people in the television, radio, film, newspaper, magazine, advertising or Internet business that you are or were a member of the panel." So does that mean I can't publish the info here at manullang.com? Whatever will I do? How can I keep such a secret to myself?

To be on the safe side, I guess I'll just have to give hints. I don't want to jeopardize this privilege! Um, let's see... well, you know how I love a certain glorified VCR in my house, right? Turns out somebody actually cares. In fact, they are very interested in how I use it. You might even say they will help others make important decisions based on what I do with it.

If they really are paying attention, watch for all the stupid/trashy reality shows to soon disappear from our airwaves. Also, no more "Doodlebops" or Tom Cruise movies or football. It's just too bad this couldn't have happened in time for me to save "Arrested Development." Oh well.

The future in home entertainment looks bright! You're very welcome.

--J.

P.S. Almost forgot, today's our ninth wedding anniversay. Hooray for us, right? RIGHT?

Feb. 15: M-I-C-K-E-Y

We're home from Disneyland. It'll be a while before I can get our trip journal assembled into a legible fashion and compress our many pictures for viewing, but keep checking in... I'll publish it at manullang.com as soon as it's done.

Overall, the vacation was fabulous. Disneyland is a totally different experience with children, and we loved seeing Katie and Jack soak up the magic. We celebrated Katie's birthday with Mickey and Minnie--if you ever get the chance to do this, you MUST!--and Jack still hasn't stopped talking about his favorite rides (Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters and Monsters Inc.). We created some really wonderful memories. The 388 digital photos I brought home will help.

Dee talked me into going on the Tower of Terror ride. I was scared to death but only cursed once (I know, I couldn't believe it either). It was fun, fun, FUN! If we had gone on it before our last day, we probably would've ridden it several times. I loved it. Some of our other favorites: Soarin' Over California, Turtle Talk with Crush, Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters, Monsters Inc., Space Mountain... ah, we'll admit it... we loved pretty much everything. Even Small World!

One of Katie's favorite parts of the vacation was the Princess Celebration lunch at Ariel's Grotto in Disney's California Adventure. Darlene and I joined her for a girly afternoon and got to meet Ariel, Belle, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, and Jasmine. Their costumes were gorgeous, and they were all incredibly sweet with the children.


We were really spoiled with wonderful California weather. It was in the 80s and 90s every day. I heard it was dry in Portland too, but it was cold and rainy when we got home so I'm not sure I believe it.

The driving part of the trip really blew (literally). We left home on Friday night and drove to southern Oregon, spent the night, and drove all day Saturday to Anaheim. Coming back, we left Anaheim Saturday around noon and spent the night in Redding. Sunday we were on the road most of the day. Just as we were getting to the Portland area, one of our tires a-sploded; fortunately it happened right near an exit so we were able to pull over quickly and safely. Still, it was a pretty sucky way to end our vacation. Not to worry... I got some great pictures of Vic and Wellington changing the tire. They weren't too pleased to pose, the party poopers.

In case you were wondering, I will never, ever, ever drive or ride in a car for 2000 miles again. It's insanity.

All six of us came home sick. Disneyland is pretty much a big germfest, I've decided. Feeling pretty yucky yesterday made celebrating Valentine's Day not so fun. Katie and Jack didn't let it slow them down much--they still stuffed their faces with pa-lenty of candy--but the last thing Vic and I wanted was a dinner out that we couldn't really enjoy. We'll combine our V-Day with our anniversary on the 23rd, I think.

Now that we're home I need to get back into work mode, finish up with my reunion responsibilities, and think up a good anniversary gift for that husband o' mine. What I need right now, though, is a nice long nap. Toodles--

Jen

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