July 6: Can you trust a fat food critic?

We were talking about seeing Ratatouille again today and I've had that mean old food critic, Anton Ego, on the brain. So... guess what, it’s critique time. For Jen... Ego.

Like most people, we tend to go to the same restaurants over and over. These are the ones in our area and what we like to order there.

  • Applebees - Love the Santa Fe chicken salad, buffalo ranch chicken sandwich, and maple butter blondie dessert.
  • Baja Fresh - the only thing I ever order here is the steak burrito Ultimo with no veggie mix (peppers and other gross stuff). It’s delicious. Vic gets the chicken Ultimo. Every time I’ve tried something different I don’t like it.
  • Bellagio’s Pizza - Their crust is chewy and delicious. Love their variety of sauces too. Expensive.
  • Burger King - I rarely eat here. I don’t like microwaved burgers.
  • Burgerville - The plain ol’ cheeseburger is deeeeelicious. Vic usually gets the Tillamook pepper bacon burger. Gotta love their seasonal specials—right now they’re fresh strawberry milkshakes and lemonade and shortcake—and the Mocha Perk shake.
  • California Pizza Kitchen - My favorite pizza lately is the pear gorgonzola with honey wheat pizza crust. Yum.
  • Chart House - Haven’t been here in a while, but I always liked the filet.
  • Chevy’s - I love their chips and salsa and made-to-order guacamole. I think the flautas are pretty good, and I also like the steak fajita burrito. And that sweet corn stuff they put on all the plates is tay-STEE.
  • Chili’s - Chicken tacos. Their appetizers are good too.
  • Claim Jumper - So far I haven’t tried anything that wasn’t downright mouth-watering. I mean, it’s comfort food, so what can be bad about that?
  • Gustav’s - Fondue (or as my cousin Deanna says, fondon’t). They have a chicken-apples-walnuts-greens salad that I usually order. Excellent Reuben sandwich and potato pancakes.
  • KFC - I never go there.
  • Macaroni Grill - I just tried the plain ol’ fettuccine Alfredo a few weeks ago and it was probably the best I’ve ever had.
  • McDonalds - We choose to eat here only when we’re starving and don’t want to wait for food. Unfortunately, between the Happy Meals and play place, it’s almost always K&J’s first choice. French fries are great. Their new southwest chicken salad is good. The sausage McGriddle and hash browns is a yummy, albeit greasy, breakfast. The new cinnamon melts are way too Cinnabon-like to be within walking distance of our home.
  • Morton’s - Filet Mignon, of course. And that Godiva chocolate cake, omigoddess it’s good! My only complaint is when they bring the cart with the live giant bug (fine, it’s a lobster) to my table. I just know that thing is gonna break through his rubber bands and pinch the crap outta me.
  • Old Chicago - Haven’t been there forever. Not a big fan of their pizza, but I like their salads. Can’t remember much else.
  • Olive Garden - Portobello ravioli. Pasta fagioli soup.
  • Outback - Hate this place. They can’t grill a steak.
  • Panda Express - What else but orange chicken?
  • P.F. Changs - Lettuce wraps and hot and sour soup. All the entrees I’ve tried are great.
  • Quizno’s - We don’t get stuff from here often, but I’ve liked most of the chicken sandwiches I’ve tried.
  • Red Robin - Nothing beats the Banzai Burger. I like their salads and appetizers too. Scrumptious steak fries.
  • Ruth’s Chris Steak House - Filet. Broccoli and green beans are perfectly fresh and crunchy and the mashed potatoes are perfect. They have a bananas Foster dessert that is just incredible.
  • Spaghetti Factory - Is anything not edible on this menu?
  • Stanford’s - Their Henry’s cheddar soup is delectable, but it’s not on their menu every day. I love their Thai linguine and southwest chopped chicken salad.
  • Starbucks - The venti mocha is absolute perfection.
  • Subway - Spicy Italian sub.
  • Sweet Tomatoes - Bleah. Why I hate this place is all in the name. Actually, if you want a good salad bar, you can’t beat it. Otherwise, no thank you.
  • Taco Bell - Everything tastes pretty much the same and it’s all filling. Hey, there are worse things.
  • Taco del Mar - Anything I’ve ever ordered here is good.
  • Taco Time - As far as I’m concerned, it is never taco time. I'm pretty sure their ground beef is actually dog food (or vegeburger, same thing). Who can mess up Mexican food? Taco Time can. Bleah.
  • Wendy’s - I like this place fine, but I think their kids’ meals are what’s really special—they actually have choices besides burgers and chicken nuggets. They have deli sandwiches and fruit too.

If you have any additional recommendations, we’d love to hear them. I will promise not to make fun of you even if you like yucky things.

July 6: Christmas don't be late (?)

Someone's making a live-action Alvin & The Chipmunks movie. Is this a good idea? I mean, I love Jason Lee, but are those gangsta versions of Alvin, Simon and Theodore? WTF?

It's being released around Christmastime this year. Here's the Wikipedia page; there's not much there yet, but I'm sure it'll get updated as more info comes out about the movie. Like the plot. And why someone thought this movie was a good idea. The "Here comes trouble" tagline could just be prophetic.

...I just don't know...

July 5: Friends come and go

July 5: Grammar test

"your so kewl lets get 2gether sumtim" Sometimes a person can wonder if anyone knows how to spell anymore. Sometimes a person has to wonder if teachers have just given up on grammar and punctuation altogether. Sometimes a person wonders what all the fuss is about if other people can figure out what's being said.

Are you well-versed in homophones, possessive pronouns, and punctuation? Do you know why apostrophes are being overworked and underpaid? Do you spend so much time text messaging on your phone that you no longer know how to spell without numbers? Do you wonder why the non-word "gooder" is in the title? Go on, take the quiz and see what the teacher would give you in Language Arts today.


Now, these are my kinds of tests. Good luck!

--Jen


Your Language Arts Grade: 100%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

Are You Gooder at Grammar?

July 5: Pronunciation test

Woe unto the English scholar who must hear daily the mangling of the language by its speakers. So many of us mispronounce so many words, it's a wonder we ever passed an English class. For whatever reason, certain words are just difficult to pronounce. They don't come out right at all. This is a quiz to determine how badly you suffer the malady of mispronunciation.

This one wuz fun 'n not just cuz I did good. (I'll admit it... "sammitch" tripped me up a little.)

--Jen

Your Score Is.... 100%!

Congratulations, you scored in the highest percentile. You don't let very many mispronunciations slip by. No sir, not you. You speak quite properly, and everyone is impressed with your command of the English language. But do keep in mind, you probably come across as bookish and pedantic!

Do You Pronounce Words Right?

July 5: Guess I'm just quasi-evil

Looks like today is Fun with Blog Tests Day. This quiz tells you what kind of evil you are. I think my results were spot-on!


Raw evil score: 55.56%

July 5: Who loves me, baby?

Uh, this seems a little imbalanced, doesn't it? I could probably be a little more loving, I suppose. But then I would have to be nice to people that don't deserve it. We all know I'm incapable of that.

--Jen

89% Of The Internet Loves Me!
I am loved by 89% of
the population, including:

36567 people who love voters
34612 people who love Windows users
48400 people who love geeks
In return, I love 39% of
the population, including:

51467 happy people
33986 poets
39292 bloggers
so, who loves you?

July 5: This is my Hell

Ha! I love this thing. You put in all the hateful people you can think of, rank them, and your nine levels of Hell are created. Look at mine--Ann Coulter is in the "immersed in excrement" level! Could there BE anything more fun? :)

Follow the link at the bottom to create your own Hell, and be sure to share it with me!

--Jen
P.S. I know, it's kinda hard to read with such dark text/background. Sorry. I tried to change it but it was way too much work and not worth it.


bad spellers, The Doodlebops
Circle I Limbo

people who leave their rusty car parts in my yard
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

people that just don't get it
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

that guy that shushed me in church once
Circle IV Rolling Weights

bad drivers, celebrity big-mouth Scientologists
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

General asshats, mean people
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

the truly evil so-called "Christians"
Circle VII Burning Sands

Ann Coulter, that evil beeyotch
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

and of course, George W. Bush
Circle IX Frozen in Ice


What's your hell like?



Updated 10:30 a.m.
Lori sent her results but apparently they can't be posted in comments. Here is her hell:

People who complain but won't vote
Circle I Limbo

Anyone who orders more than 3 drinks in the Starbuck's drive-thru
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

"Kids" who think Acuras can be race cars
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

People who drive SUV's
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Blind Patriots
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Dick Cheney
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Karl Rove
Circle VII Burning Sands

George Bush
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Ann Coulter
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell



Love it, Lori! Thanks for playing! --J.



Updated 7/6/07 at 8:50 a.m.
I got this anonymously. Hm, I have no idea whose hell it might be...

Anyone who abandons their kids in an orphanage
Circle I Limbo

Vampires
Circle II Whirling in a Dark & Stormy Wind

Kathie Lee Gifford, Rosie O'Donnell
Circle III Mud, Rain, Cold, Hail & Snow

Colonel-Selects from Peterson AFB who leave their families
Circle IV Rolling Weights

Gangsta Rappers
Circle V Stuck in Mud, Mangled

River Styx

Step-parents
Circle VI Buried for Eternity

River Phlegyas

Anyone with the last name BRIGGMAN
Circle VII Burning Sands

Judgmental SDA's
Circle IIX Immersed in Excrement

Kansas A**holes
Circle IX Frozen in Ice

Design your own hell

July 4: Rock me, Dr. Zaius

July 4: It makes too much sense

St. Francis of Assisi put it best: "Go ye into all the world, preach the gospel and, if necessary, use words." ***

I may be an ordained minister, but I'm anything BUT a fan of organized religion these days. However, I'm impressed with something my friend Kirsten told me is happening at the Hollywood SDA church this summer. Read about The Spot.

What I appreciate most about this particular description of The Spot is in the response to a reader's question about whether it's similar to Vacation Bible School: "There is no Bible involved in this school. And my experience is that VBS ran for one or maybe two weeks. This is 9 weeks, 5 days a week, 8 am to 6 pm. But, to be clear, it has not religious component AT ALL. It is a art-enrichment summer day camp. We have children from all different types of religious backgrounds, and no religious background. I think this kind of non-religious ministry to the community is a good example of seeking the public good and modeling our spiritual values without ramming them down people's throats. More about being, less about saying." (Ryan Bell)

See, some people get it! Isn't that refreshing? Seems like this philosophy could be applied in so many ways...

--Jen

***The first time I read this quote to Victor he said, "Do you know what that means?" and I responded with my interpretation. He listened and then said, "Nope. It means St. Francis was a mime."

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