Jul. 30: Plinky ~ bad teacher

Plinky is back. Yay! Here’s my first one since it returned. It’s from a week ago, but I just now finished writing up my answer, so… sorry? (Pssst… I’m not really sorry.)

Describe the worst teacher you ever had.

I never thought anyone could top my fifth grade teacher in the “worthless” category, but that was before I took my first management class in college. The professor was the type who wrote up his class outline in 1965 and never bothered to update it again. Exams were always multiple choice—the ones that came with the textbook, because GOD FORBID HE PUT ANY EFFORT INTO TEACHING—and classes were all-lecture-all-the-time, straight out of the book. We never had projects or papers to do. I can’t even remember daily assignments, but there must have been some, right? Or quizzes? Maybe Mike Devitt can remember—he was in the class too.

What made this ineffectual and out-of-touch teacher even worse was that he was a male chauvinist. I mean, the guy was, like, 749 years old and never changed his way of thinking since the days it was okay to tease girls and punch boys. I was almost embarrassed for him sometimes. Almost.

The strange thing was that even with all of his old school ways, he was a really nice guy. I was a reader for one of the other professors in the department, and whenever he saw me working, he’d stop and chat for a little while. I guess not taking time to prepare for his classes gave the guy time to get to know his students.

I have one happy memory of that class: a new kind of M&Ms had just come out, and a bunch of us shared handfuls nearly every day. Yes, what I got out of my first management course in college was a long-term love of peanut butter M&Ms, and not much else.

Apr. 4: Plinky ~ “Meh” landmarks

The Plinky prompts come into my feed reader every morning, but I so rarely have good answers. I like today’s prompt, though, and although my definition of “good answer” might be questionable, I decided to play along. Because it’s me, I can’t leave my answer at just ONE—I have many. It’s how I do.

What landmark did you find disappointing when you saw it in person?

Sometimes a picture's worth a thousand words, but an in-person visit isn't worth the $5 entry fee.

It’s much easier for me to think of the landmarks that were even MORE impressive in person—the Golden Gate Bridge, the Las Vegas Strip, the Gateway Arch, the Eiffel Tower, Buckingham Palace—so Victor and I had much discussion over our answers to this question. One we both agreed upon:

manneken-pis (Brussels, Belgium)

Manneken-Pis (the peeing little boy statue) was cool to see in person, but it was disappointing because it is placed quite inelegantly at the corner of a building and could easily be missed if not for the constant crowd around it.

The dude is only two feet tall, making him even less impressive. As much as this little guy is imitated throughout the world—made into goofy souvenirs like corkscrews, etc.—you’d think the statue would be, well, life-size, at least. And the way Europe makes huge statues of even questionably significant people, I’m pretty sure someone read the Manneken-Pis blueprints wrong. I doubt we were the only people ever to arrive at the Manneken-Pis landmark and say, “OK, that’s cute. Now, where’s the real one?”

Speaking of piss, my next answer is going to piss people off, pro’lly…

Epcot (Walt Disney World, Florida)

Epcot is divided into two parts: Future World and World Showcase. Future World is your typical Disney theme park—characters everywhere, fun rides, gift shops. We like that half of Epcot. The back half of the park is World Showcase, and the part you typically hear about. Eleven countries are represented in individual “pavilions” with shops, food service, and exhibits. From across the water in Future World, World Showcase looks pretty cool. There’s an Eiffel Tower, a Norwegian church, a Japanese pagoda, and other landmark-y types of things.

But that’s the view from afar. Ultimately, World Showcase, if you ask us, is not much more than a big, stupid food court.

Keep in mind that on our first visit to Epcot we had recently returned from Europe, and we (foolishly) expected the ethnic food to be somewhat authentic. We skipped over the Canadian and U.K. pavilions and went straight to France for a bit of those delicious pastries and chocolat we had enjoyed so much in Paris months before. But the Epcot French pastries tasted like Hostess pastries, and the chocolate tasted suspiciously Hershey’s-like. Edible, yes. Authentic? Ha! Not. Even. Close.

Further disenchantment came when Darlene pointed out Korean items being sold in the Japan pavilion. Actually, we didn’t find that disenchanting so much as hilarious. Leave it to Disney to assume no one will notice.

Being that Victor and I are lovers of most things Disney, our un-love of the whole back half of Epcot was unexpected. When we went back three years later, we didn’t even venture into that part of the park BECAUSE IT IS SO STUPID.

Willamette Falls (Oregon City/West Linn, Oregon)

One of our local landmarks, we see Willamette Falls most often on the news when there’s flooding. During our city-wide flood in 1996, they repeatedly showed a houseboat going over the falls—way cool (because it wasn’t ours). At that time the water levels were so high, the falls were hardly even falling.

There are all sorts of things about Willamette Falls that should be impressive: in the US it’s third behind Niagara Falls in volume of water (or somethin’ like that), it’s the largest waterfall in the Northwest, its height is only 42 feet and it’s still considered “huge.” There are even more big-deal statistics, but I’m too lazy to look them up. So why is this landmark disappointing? Well, here’s a good picture of Willamette Falls:

Beautiful, isn’t it?

But unless you’re right on the river, Willamette Falls never looks like that. In fact, from the most convenient viewpoint (on I-205), it almost always looks like this:

See what I mean? Meh.

London, England

This was a disappointing city overall, not a disappointing landmark. I thought London was exceptionally filthy, people were unfriendly, and I absolutely hated the architecture. I didn’t like how there were new, modern buildings next to cathedrals and government buildings that were many hundreds of years old. And the London Eye, that ginormous Ferris wheel! Who let the city planners do all that? Crazy people, that’s who. Although the landmarks themselves were incredible, I did not like the way they fit into the city. Buckingham Palace was an exception, as it literally (and figuratively) stands on its own, surrounded by beautiful grounds.

Mill Ends Park (Portland, Oregon)

Mill Ends Park is the smallest city park in the world, as recognized by the Guinness Book of Records, and located right here in Portland. I’m not really disappointed in this landmark, because how could it be impressive? It’s supposed to be small. What disappoints me is how difficult it is to get a good look at it, as it’s located on a busy parkway and easy to miss and I drive too fast and also sometimes forget to even look for it.

(It’s possible that one’s just me.)

What’s your answer to this Plinky prompt?

Feb. 10: Plinky ~ No “L”

Today’s Plinky prompt is kinda ridiculous:

Write a (very) short story without using the letter 'L.'

Harder than it...uh...appears, huh?

I tried it, though, and it wasn’t as hard as I expected (that’s what she said). This particular stupid story was inspired, in part, by someone I know who’s waiting to hear the grade she got on her kid’s science project—this lovely person shall remain nameless to protect the naughty, naughty parent.

---

Once upon a time there was a boy who wanted to visit a nearby dog park. His dog, Tucker, was very eager to get out and romp with other dogs, but the boy was afraid he might get hurt. Tucker was tiny (a Chihuahua) compared to most of the dogs at the park, and they were rough sometimes. The boy was very protective of Tucker and didn’t want him making friends with strange dogs or joining a dog gang. He had seen quite a bit of humping going on among the dogs, too, and didn’t want Tucker to have puppies. (The boy was not very smart because his mom did his science homework for him.)

It was a gorgeous, sunny day, and after Tucker begged and begged, the boy decided he was ready to take Tucker to the dog park. Untethered and within the park fences, Tucker ran free. The bigger dogs scared him, but he tried to stay away from them. He stuck to the kiddie areas, where the timid dogs hung out, shivering and pretending the dog park was awesome. Some dogs are idiots.

After an hour, the boy said it was time to go. Tucker was a very sad dog, for in the time he’d been at the park that morning he’d met Daisy, another tiny dog, and they’d gotten dog-married. They had even gone behind the tree and kissed. Daisy’s owner didn’t see, and Tucker’s owner didn’t see, and both dogs hoped they might keep their adoration for each other a secret for fear they’d not be permitted to meet again.

Nothing was going to wipe the grin off Tucker’s snout that day. He was infatuated with Daisy! She was a charming Pomeranian with the perkiest ears Tucker had ever seen. He knew they’d be together forever.

But on the way out of the park, the boy ran into Daisy’s owner and she accused Tucker of being inappropriate with Daisy. So she had seen them behind the tree! “Duh!” Tucker thought, “Of course I was inappropriate! She’s my wife!” The boy didn’t know what to say. He was pretty sure she was wrong, but promised to keep Tucker away from Daisy in the future.

At first it seemed they were doomed, but Tucker and Daisy did not despair. They knew their devotion to each other was strong enough to survive their owners. They arranged to get together every night after their owners were in bed and carry on their friendship.

So they did. Every night they met on a corner in their neighborhood, where they embraced under the shimmering moonbeams. No one ever knew; not the boy or Daisy’s meanie of an owner. They were the envy of dog pairings everywhere.

One night a coyote attacked and ate them. The end.

---

That’s 465 words. Yes, it’s true: I can rock when I try to avoid the “L,” with minimal thesaurus-al help, even though the results are hardly worth publishing. I am soooo adding this special skill to my résumé.

Jan. 10: Plinky ~ TV haiku

It’s been a while since I’ve done a Plinky prompt. I couldn’t resist this one:

Write a haiku about your favorite TV show.

Remember: 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables.

You know I loves me some haiku, so I can’t stop at one.

30 Rock soooo rocks.
Blerg! It’s a rerun tonight.
Bite me, NBC.

If I had to choose
Between Jim, Oscar, and Dwight
I’d love Andy best.

Glad I’m not a Bluth
The whole family is psycho
Wish I could still watch.

Meh. I’ve done better.

Oct. 10: Plinky ~ local tourism

Victor’s parents lived in the Seattle area for 30 years and never once went up to the San Juan Islands. The San Juan Islands are a vacation destination for lots of travelers in a beautiful part of the world. The air there is fresh and clear, and the weather in the summer is mild, making it a relaxing and nature-ific break from city life. So why Wellington and Darlene never went up there when it was practically in their backyard is a head-scratcher. They say they always planned to go, but there was no rush because, y’know, it was right there.

Victor and I have spent the past hour discussing today’s Plinky prompt:

What tourist attraction near you have you never seen?

Why haven't you? Do you want to go?

It seems like I’ve done just about everything ‘round these parts. Even outside of Portland, even extending into Washington state, I’ve seen the biggest of the tourist attractions. I looked at several Oregon tourism sites to find something about which I’d forgotten, and these are the two things near(ish) us that I don’t remember ever seeing:

• Sea Lion Caves
• Mt. Hood Railroad

Why haven’t I gone to Sea Lion Caves? I don’t know. It’s just 40 miles south of Newport, which we visit fairly often when traveling along the coast. I’ve heard it’s quite stinky; maybe that’s why I haven’t gone out of my way. I’m sure if the kids hear about it they’ll want to go, so I doubt I’ll go the rest of my life without ever seeing the Caves for myself.

The Mt. Hood Railroad has never appealed to me all that much. It travels through the Columbia River Gorge, and I went that route oh-so-many times going to and from college—can’t say I’ve ever been too interested in taking a leisurely ride through the area. Will I ever go on it? I’ll commit to a “maybe,” but that’s it.

Your turn—what tourist attraction near you have you never seen?

Sep. 29: Bacon makes it better?

I haven’t done a Plinky prompt in a while. I thought about it last week, when one day’s prompt asked what kind of technology I could live without for a month, but then I couldn’t come up with a good answer because I don’t think anyone really calls my toaster “technology.” And now that I really think about it, I’d rather not live without my toaster for a month. Unlike my friends Cassie and Dina, I don’t LOVE LOVE LOVE toast like OH MY GOD it’s the most amazing thing EVER, but I do kinda like it when I need to eat and nothing else sounds appetizing. So, never mind.

Today’s Plinky prompt is totally easy:

True or false: bacon makes it better.

Discuss.

Duh! True.

TRUE, TRUE, TRUE, TRUE, TRUE.

And is there really any discussion necessary here? I mean, we all know that bacon is one of very few things that proves God exists AND that She wants us to eat pigs or why else would She have made them so delicious?

Maybe the next Plinky prompt could be something about how bloggers can alienate their vegetarian and Christian friends. Because, um, I totally know.

Aug. 23: Plinky ~ first plane ride

I haven’t done a Plinky prompt in a while. I like today’s, even though it took me all day to make time to sit down and write it.

What was the first plane ride you took?

Describe the trip – what was it like? Were you excited or scared?

Kathy and I flew from Medford to Portland in 1975. I was excited because we flew on a “banana jet,” one of the yellow-bodied airplanes I frequently saw flying over Medford. I don’t remember being afraid, but I must have been, as I was only six years old and everything scared me back then. My older and braver sister was with me, though, so I felt safe. I vaguely remember the moments just before takeoff, that I didn’t really like that my feet couldn’t touch the floor, and that Kathy was holding my hand.

We went to Portland to visit our dad, who had been transferred up north to a new job with Rodda Paint. My memory of the trip is fuzzy, but this picture is one of the few we have from it:

This was in the zoo parking lot. I love Dad’s snazzy plaid pants, my scary-short dress and my beautiful hairstyle. What can’t be seen here is the inflatable Minnie Mouse toy I had purchased at the zoo gift shop. I set her right between us before Kathy took the picture. When we packed to go back to Medford, I couldn’t find Minnie and was really upset; neither Dad or Kathy seemed all that concerned, and now I think they probably had destroyed it and thought I wouldn’t notice. Meanies.

I remember little else about the trip. Not anything else we did, how long we were gone, Dad’s house, or flying home. But, y’know, BANANA JET! Woo-hoo!

Jun. 16: Plinky ~ old movie

Today’s Plinky prompt:

What's your favorite movie that was made before you were born?

Explain what makes this oldie a goodie.

My all-time favorite movie was made 14 years before I was born; it’s White Christmas, released in 1954. Why is it my favorite movie? Because it’s awesome. How can you top “Sisters” as performed by Rosemary Clooney and a voice-overed Vera-Ellen (unless it was performed by me and Kathy, of course)? Or “Sisters” as performed by Bing and Danny in drag? My other favorite song in the movie is “Love, You Didn’t Do Right By Me.” And yes, the movie’s Christmas songs are pretty darn good too.

The Sound of Music (1965) is definitely a close second.

And lest you think I’m just a sucker for old movies, I ain’t. I hated Holiday Inn (1942), It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) and The Wizard of Oz (1939). I know, that probably makes me some kind of unpatriotic something-or-other. Meh.

What’s your favorite movie from before you were born?

Jun. 10: Plinky ~ Perfect jury duty read

Today’s Plinky prompt:

If you had to report for jury duty today, which book would you take with you?

Why is this a good book to help pass the time while you wait...and wait...to do your civic duty?

I’ve been lucky so far; I’ve been called for jury duty several times but have never had to report. I’ve always had a good excuse—either I just gave birth, or was about to, or had no child care, or something else kid-related got me off the hook. Honestly, this is a little bit disappointing, because I’d like to have to show up once, just to experience our <cough cough> judicial process. Vic assures me it’s not at all exciting, and he knows of what he speaks.

Because I’ve never served on a jury or even been in a jury pool, my jury duty frame of reference comes from a combination of three things: TV, John Grisham novels, and the nonstop text messages my sister sent me that time she was stuck sitting next to Mr. Stinky for three days. So I’m gonna say that I know EXACTLY what jury duty is like.

And I think one of the objectives to being in a jury pool is to NOT end up as the subject of some a-hole’s text messages to her a-hole sister. Because I would want to stay entertained while I wait, any book by David Sedaris would seem like the perfect way to pass the time. Problem is, his books frequently make me LOL. And if I LOL, it’s inevitably going to annoy someone, and I prefer not to be that girl who’s annoying everyone.

It’d be fun to read a book with a title that could freak people out, like one of these (all real books, BTW):

• How To Murder Your Mother-in-Law
• Witchcraft for Good and Evil
• Schadenfreude, Baby!: A Delicious Look at the Misfortune of Others (and the Pleasure It Brings Us)
• Out of Control and Loving It
• How to Hypnotize Yourself With Your Eyes Open
• Zen of Farting
• A Pocket Guide to Precious Moments Collectible Figurines
• Dr. Snake’s Voodoo Spellbook
• The Good Old Days: The Holocaust

But my answer to the Plinky prompt is a simple and uninteresting one: I’d probably just bring whatever book I’m currently reading.

Jun. 5: Plinky ~ Fun city

Today’s Plinky prompt:

What city were you surprised to like?

Describe when you had a good time someplace you didn't expect to.

My answer is Amsterdam. We went in 2001, just overnight at the end of a trip in which we’d already gone to London, Paris, Brussels and Bruges. I loved a lot of things about all those cities, and Paris is still my favorite city in the world. But on our way to Amsterdam, it was hard to imagine it being as fun or interesting compared to what we’d already seen on this trip. Here’s what made Amsterdam so much cooler than we expected:

• The first thing I saw when we got off the train was a guy in a duct tape bikini. Awesome.
• Our hotel room, booked on Expedia with little idea of what we’d get, was huge and overlooked the Dam Square. The bed was also huge—I swear, it was like two queen-size mattresses shoved together. There was a down comforter for each side, and huge feathery pillows that made it the best night’s sleep I’d had in a long time (I was five months pregnant and walking with a broken foot and was absolutely exhausted). To be honest, the view and the pleasant-ness of the room would have made the trip great even if we’d never seen the city.
• The tulips. It was May, so the tulip fields were cleared, but there were still plenty to see in the stores in various forms.
• The pastries, my god, the pastries!
• Two huge restaurant signs we saw, not too far apart; one said Vic’s Terrace Brasserie, and the other was Jennifer Croissanterie/Tearoom. Funny.
• Gift shops. All that Delftware was beautiful. I bought wooden shoes for baby Katie. We did not buy any drugs, nor were we offered any. That was the only disappointing part—wouldn’t a fun story have been a nice souvenir?
• The canals. I haven’t been to Italy, so this was really the first I’d seen of a city built this way. I thought they were really unusual and interesting. Very scenic.
• Anne Frank House. This was definitely the highlight of our tourist activities in Amsterdam, and the only must-see museum we had time to see. It was worth waiting in the very long line.
• Friendly people. I found Londoners incredibly rude. Paris was so-so and Brussels was about the same. Amsterdam was the only place that people were not only nice, they were friendly and helpful. It was a lovely change.

I’d go back to Amsterdam again, in a heartbeat.

May 31: Plinky ~ hidden talent

Today’s Plinky prompt:

What's your hidden talent?

Are you double-jointed? Can you sneeze the alphabet? Share your unique skill.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy. My hidden talent is my lightning-fast typing speed. It is a very boooooring hidden talent, so I’m going to share others’ hidden talents.

• My mom can twirl a baton like nobody’s business. And I inherited my typing speed from her.
• Victor can calculate any two numbers in his head—add, subtract, multiply, divide, average, square root, cosine, pi, string theory. I might be exaggerating that a tad.
• Katie is a dog whisperer. Dogs love her and do whatever she tells them to. Kinda the opposite of Son of Sam.
• Darlene makes incredible origami stuff from memory.
• Kathy can type with her toes. While this is “hidden” (thank goddess), it is not necessarily considered a “talent.” (But it totally should be!)
• Jack? Um… well… we love Jack.

What’s your hidden talent? You know you’ve got one, and you’re dying to tell the world. Here’s your chance, Mr./Ms. Show Off.

May 26: Plinky ~ criminals

At first I thought today’s Plinky prompt was an easy one, but then I realized how hard it was going to be to narrow down my answer. It’s like a question about my favorite ice cream flavor; they’re all pretty good, but which one really is best? Don’t make me choose!

What activity or behavior should be a crime?

Explain why this activity shouldn't be tolerated, and describe a fitting punishment.

My first task here was to think of something that isn’t already a crime, because, y’know, I think killing people isn’t such a nice thing... so I tried to think of some of my biggest pet peeves that are not currently considered criminal EVEN THOUGH THEY SHOULD BE. They are:

• misspellings and poor punctuation
• people that talk to me too early in the morning
• chatspeak/LOLspeak in normal, outside-of-texting writing
• excessive jewelry on men (“excessive” meaning “almost anything other than a wedding band”)
• inconsiderate drivers (merging on the freeway at 35mph, not signaling, driving in the fast lane so cars have to pass you on the right, doing anything other than driving that keeps you from paying attention to the road, etc.)
• using God as an excuse for your prejudices
• monkeys

And I can only pick one? Fine. I choose the inconsiderate driving thing.

The only fitting punishment: “You are sentenced to six years’ of public transportation, and not the good, efficient kind that gets you anywhere in the city within a half hour. You have to ride the shitty suburban buses that take 12 times longer than they should to get out of the suburbs. And you have to sit by the person who has boobs and a beard, so you’re not really sure if it’s a man or a woman, but you can tell by its odor that it eats a lot of lentils and lives with at least 43 ferrets.”

What’s your answer to this Plinky prompt?

May 9: Plinky ~ Paper or keyboard?

Today’s Plinky prompt:

Do you prefer writing on paper or a keyboard?

Paper lovers: Bonus points for writing your answer and uploading a scanned image. (Disclaimer: We have no way of awarding points of any kind.)

I hand-wrote my answer and tried for an hour to scan it and finally cursed at my scanner and took a picture with my iPhone. Which, as you can see below, worked just fine. Stoopid old technology.

That second-to-last sentence should read “The times I really want to use the computer ARE” (not “is”) but I realized too late to correct it and I’m too lazy to re-do it. I’ve already wasted enough time on this dang post.

So tell us, do you prefer paper or keyboard? No need to scan your answer.

May 2: Plinky ~ My arch enemy

Today’s Plinky prompt:

Who was your arch enemy when you were 10?

Change the name, if you're a wuss.

This one is easy.

Keri (her real name!) and I became fast friends when I started fifth grade at TVJA. We both lived with our single moms, and because most of our classmates’ parents were married, we banded together as the odd ones out. But friendship, like all things at that age, is fickle. The next school year we both started playing the flute in band and suddenly our friendship became competitive. Some might have said it was downright hateful. There were probably other issues too, like fights between mutual friends and playground stuff and all that. I don’t remember. I just know that we went from being best of friends to not being able to stand each other anymore. We continued like that through junior high.

In 1983-84 TVJA added a tenth grade, and while a lot of kids went on to academy (high school) for ninth grade, nearly all of them had left by tenth. Our class was eight students strong, and one of those students was Keri. This was distressing to me—her too, I’m sure—but our mutual hatred simply couldn’t survive the small class size. I think it surprised us both that within weeks we were civil again. Keri and I ended up being best friends through the rest of high school.

I went to Washington state for college, and Keri went to Virginia. We had little contact for several years, but when we were both back in Portland in the early 90’s we got together occasionally. In 1994 we made a reunion trip to San Francisco with the other two girls from our tenth grade class, exactly ten years after our memorable class trip there. Keri later moved to Seattle and we lost touch again.

The happy ending to my arch enemy story: last week we found each other on Facebook and are slowly getting caught up again. Many of my best memories of high school and beyond involve Keri, and I’m glad she was my enemy for only a few years instead of for EVER.

The not so happy ending (for someone else): I ran into our tenth grade teacher last year, who is now pastoring a church near where I live. He told me he quit teaching after that infamous school year. We broke him! I suspect it was being stuck in a van with eight teenagers on that very long drive to and from San Francisco…

May 1: Plinky ~ No fun

Today’s Plinky prompt:

What's the least fun you've ever had at a place specifically tailored for fun?

Explain what happened.

Two places instantly came to mind when I read this question.

1. Six Flags Magic Mountain. Vic and I took a very early flight to L.A. and planned to take an NBC studio tour right away. We drove straight to Burbank from the airport and the tickets were already gone for the day. There were no tickets available to see a show being taped either, so our grand plans for our first day of vacation were screwed. We decided to go to Magic Mountain, which we had originally planned to do the next day. Not having gotten much sleep the night before, as well as being on a plane, apparently did something to our equilibrium or whatever it is that’s supposed to keep us from puking on the roller coasters. We also made a bad first choice to ride the Colossus—the big wooden coaster that is the bumpiest, jerkiest, slowest coaster I’ve ever been on ever in my life ever.
   
   This was in my short-lived heyday of no-fear-of-scary-rides, and I would have loved to ride most of the coasters there, but I didn’t want to be The Girl Who Turned Green And They Had To Stop The Ride And Let Her Off Why Do People Ride If They’re Sick Anyway I Hate Her For Ruining My Day. Vic went on a few rides by himself. Neither of us actually puked, but we didn’t feel well at all the whole day and were eager to leave.
   
   The other thing that sucked about our day at Magic Mountain was that hardly anyone was there. At first we thought it was cool—no lines, no crowds—but after a while it just seemed like a loser-y place because if it was so great, where was everyone?
   
   
2. Disneyland. I know, how can I not have had fun at Disneyland? I freaking LOVE Disneyland!
   
   I had a terrible headache one day and after a few hours I just couldn’t take it anymore. I left the kids with Victor and my mom and went back to the hotel to try to sleep off the pain. I was furious at myself. I really didn’t think I had it in me to voluntarily leave Disneyland.

As far as sickness, neither of these rotten days were the fault of the amusement parks. But as far as the stupid stuff at Magic Mountain? It was just stupid.

Now let’s hear your story.

Apr. 19: Plinky ~ Outdoors

Today’s Plinky prompt:

What's your favorite place to enjoy the great outdoors? Describe Mother Nature's beauty.

I like fresh air and all, but if I have to do anything strenuous to be in it, I’m going back inside, thankyouverymuch. So really, the best response I have to this Plinky prompt is this:

Apr. 17: Plinky ~ Here on Jennifer’s Isle

Today’s Plinky prompt:

You're stuck on an island with plenty of food, a companion, and a relatively stress-free lifestyle. What do you do when the rescue ship comes?

Explain your choice.

Vacationing is one thing; being stranded is something entirely different. If it’s been a week, I might ask the rescue ship to hang out for a little while so I can do some more chillaxin’. If it’s been a few months or years, though, I’d hop right aboard and ask them to get me the latest People magazine and the nearest brow waxer. And yeah, I’d prob’ly want to see my kids too, assuming Victor had been my island companion all that time.

What would you do?

Apr. 16: Plinky ~ 27 hours

Today’s Plinky prompt:

There’s never enough time, is there? What would you do with an extra three hours today?

Three whole hours? There’s no way I can pick just one thing. But since I didn’t get much sleep last night, today I’d definitely:

• nap
• sleep
• doze
• slumber
• snooze

Whichever I chose, it would definitely involve a little bit of snoring and a whole lot of drool.

Apr. 5: Plinky ~ the environment

Today’s Plinky prompt:

What are you doing to help the environment? Explain your level of concern for the environment and how well you think you're helping.

I care about the environment and I know that each of us can make a difference, but honestly? I don’t live the perfect example of an environmentally-friendly life. Please don’t tell Al Gore.

Recycling

• This has gotten convenient for us since our trash pickup service recently added a more extensive recycle service. Nowadays recycling is so easy, I think you’d have to be lazy as hell not to do it.
• I recycle every scrap of paper I can; I keep a paper bag next to my desk in which I toss mostly junk mail, magazine and catalogs, and newspaper. The kids bring tons of papers home from school that go in there too.
• Victor takes care of glass and plastic recyclables. Cardboard too.
• We’ve got several empty helium tanks in our garage that our trash service won’t take. I still don’t know what we’re supposed to do with those. Same with electronics, baby gear, and other stuff that donation centers can’t accept.

Livestock

• We have chosen not to raise cows in our backyard, because we know their farts make holes in the ozone layer. I know, I know… such sacrifices.
• Our dogs fertilize the lawn in their own special way.

Automobiles

• We drive vehicles that are no larger than we need; we don’t have a boat or anything that necessitates a larger vehicle for towing, so that pretty much took care of itself. I’d like to get a hybrid.
• I wish we could walk or ride bikes in place of driving, but it’s difficult out here in suburbia.
• Public transit is not a viable option out here either, but with MAX coming in soon it may be someday.

Products

• I still use aerosol hair spray and glass cleaner, but I think every other spray product in our house is non-aerosol.
• Those fluorescent light bulbs? I can’t stand ‘em. My mom uses them in her ceiling fixtures and they make the rooms grey and dim, so when I start thinking about being more energy-conscious all it takes is a visit to her house to be reminded that I just can’t do the light bulbs.
• I try to re-use shopping bags but most of the time I forget them in my car when I go in the store. Every few months I gather all our plastic bags and put them in the recycling box at the grocery store.
• I re-use when possible. I cut up old towels for rags, I re-use paper in the printer that’s blank on one side, I donate the kids’ outgrown clothing, etc.
• I do not recycle water. I’m sorry; that’s where I draw the line.

We could and should do a lot more than we do, but compared to 20 years ago, we are much more environmentally conscious. Baby steps…

Mar. 28: Plinky ~ Nostalgic reading

There was no way I could resist today’s Plinky prompt:

Name a children's book that makes you nostalgic.

In my memory of childhood, books play a huge part. I learned to read young—thanks to a big sister with lots of patience—and remember frequent trips to Kathy’s school library before I was actually a student. Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle, the Berenstain Bears, Amelia Bedelia, and Dr. Seuss books were favorites. As an early reader I also loved anything by Syd Hoff, Richard Scarry, Beverly Cleary, and Maurice Sendak. There’s no one book that stands out as THE nostalgic favorite, but there were two books that immediately popped into my head when I read the Plinky prompt.

Richard Scarry’s Great Big Mystery Book

This book had two mysteries in it, but I remember very little about the second one—something about pies. The first, The Supermarket Mystery, was about a thief who cleverly stole groceries right out in the open. I remember solving the mystery long before the pig detective did, and after the first time through, I always read it with kind of an attitude because HOW COULD HE NOT SEE WHO THE CULPRIT WAS?

One of the things I loved best about Richard Scarry’s books was all the detail in his illustrations, and although this book had more of a story to it than other Scarry books I had, there was still so much to see on every page.

I spent a lot of time with Richard Scarry books. Another favorite was What Do People Do All Day? Who couldn’t love Huckle and Lowly Worm? I was not a big fan of Bananas Gorilla, though—my anti-monkey-ness started before I could even identify it.

A Bargain for Frances, by Russell and Lillian Hoban

A Bargain for Frances has changed over the years and now comes in different levels of “I Can Read” books, but after an extensive Google image search I found a photo of the version I actually had.

There were several things that fascinated me about this book. One was that Frances appeared to be a badger and even as a beginning reader, I knew that badgers are assholes. Interesting choice for a whole series of sweet little critter books, huh? Something else I loved about the story was Frances’ tea set, which she and her friends played with often. I had tea sets when I was little, but I don’t remember them being a big deal with me and my friends—possibly because my best friend was a boy. I was a girly-girl, no denying that, but just never got into that whole tea set thing. This book made me want to. Lastly, the whole idea of one friend cheating another on a trade was a lesson that was not lost on me. Even in my young innocence I could detect asshole-ish behavior (…so maybe making Frances a badger wasn’t such a bad decision).

Frances appeared in a series of books but this is the one I remember owning and really, really loving. I bought it for Katie when she started showing an interest in books, but she’s never cared too much about it.

There are lots of children’s books that make me nostalgic, and I love that my kids are reading some of my favorites now. Thanks to them, I’m also enjoying the discovery of a lot of new writers that are very well on their way to being authors of new classics.

Cuz books pretty much rock.