Showing posts with label inventions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inventions. Show all posts

Jan. 4: I guess I’m one of the “kids these days”

daisy Tonight is the U.S. premiere of Downton Abbey’s fifth season. I be soooo excited. Even Victor is looking forward to it, but don’t tell him I told you.

I generally enjoy historical fiction in movies/books/television, but when I hear people say, “Oh, how I wish I lived in that era,” I think they’re full of it. I mean, COME ON. You really want to give up all the conveniences of the 21st century just to live in a world that was ultra-proper, demeaning to minorities, and used the slowest-ever transportation methods?

Uhhh, no thanks. I definitely do NOT wish life now was more like the world in which our ancestors lived (to ripe old middle age). I’ll admire all that stuff from my fort of memory foam pillows, thankyouverymuch.

I love the interesting clothing from past eras, but am grateful I live in an age of yoga pants and oversized t-shirts.

Having to be perfectly-mannered at all times would suck. I’d probably be the woman they insist be institutionalized because she just can’t understand that certain things should not be said or done in front of other people.

And the dirt! Once you’ve left the castles, there’s so much dirt. It’s everywhere, and it’s all the time. What’d they use for Purell back then? Probably lye.

Really, I prefer NOW. I love the instant ways we communicate. I appreciate the technology that has made many parts of our lives easy. Air conditioning is un-live-without-able. I’m thankful for bike helmets, seat belts, and vaccinations. And I like that I don’t have to wear an evening gown to dinner with my family.

But I’ll take a staff of servants, for sure.

jen

Apr. 19: Stuff I learned from a dirty magazine

OK, maybe Cracked isn’t a dirty magazine so much as it’s frequently naughty. Either way, it’s the last place I ever expect to learn anything that’s true, much less interesting. I have Cracked in my RSS feed because occasionally—very occasionally—there are some fascinating and/or amusing articles worth reading. Recently, there have been these little fact nuggets:

  • There have been some odd entries into the dictionary in recent years, but it’s hard to believe there have been words added that are completely, totally, made-up and RIDICULOUS: grrrl, threequel, screenager (whu?), bouncebackability.
  • Michael J. Fox’s middle initial is actually “A.”
  • Talk Like a Pirate Day was started by guys from Oregon.

OK, so they’re not all gems. Still, I learned somethin’.

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Aug. 27: ‘Eureka!’ moments?

USA Today has published this list of what they call ‘Eureka! moments,’ inventions that have changed our lives since 1982. (They chose 1982 because it was their first year in publication, but probably also because of four lovely people I know that tell me ‘82 ruled.)
  1. Cellphones
  2. Laptop computers
  3. BlackBerries (I'm guessing they mean the handheld electronic devices rather than the annoying pokey plants that keep showing up in my backyard)
  4. Debit cards
  5. Caller ID (in singsong voice: love it!)
  6. DVDs
  7. Lithium rechargeable batteries
  8. iPods
  9. Pay at the pump (in Oregon, it doesn't really make that much difference though; attendants still freak out if you start to get out of your car)
  10. Lettuce in a bag (why do they even SELL whole heads of lettuce anymore?)
  11. Digital cameras
  12. Doppler radar (yeah, it totally helps those weather forecasters get it right)
  13. Flat-panel TVs (I don't have one yet, but when I do I'm pretty sure "Eureka!" won't be the first words out of my mouth)
  14. Electronic tolls (um, okaaaay...)
  15. PowerPoint
  16. Microwavable popcorn (not me, thanks. If it isn't theater-style then it has to be naked. I still prefer air-popped. Oh, 'cept kettle corn)
  17. High-tech footwear (my vertical leap is way better thanks to my high-tech footwear)
  18. Online stock trading
  19. Big Bertha golf clubs (yup. tooootally changed my life.)
  20. Disposable contacts
  21. StairMaster (I think it's nice to be reminded that "the thing I hang my clothes on" actually has a name)
  22. TiVo (oh. my. goddess. This belongs ever so much higher on the list)
  23. Purell
  24. Home satellite TV
  25. Karaoke (has this really changed our lives in any other way than giving us something more to laugh at our drunk friends over?)

What do you think? Did they get it right? Seems like e-mail should be somewhere on the list ... those steps that let your old and/or fat dogs get up on the bed ... wi-fi at Starbucks ... Go-GURT ... in-car DVD players ... helmet laws ... online bill pay ... stadium theater seating ... The Simpsons ... disposable toilet brushes ... curbside recycling ... magnetic bumper stickers ...

What else?


—Jen

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