Apr. 17: I don’t get people sometimes

I’ve been holding this in for a few days now, not knowing whether I should blog about it. I finally decided I could. Maybe I shouldn’t, but that’s my call and I call YES. I shall blog about it. I shall blog about it because it’s ridiculous and WOW, people sure can be jackholes.

Here’s what happened:

A fellow parent at my kids’ school—and possibly a Facebook “friend” of mine—apparently thought a recent discussion on my Facebook wall was inappropriate and took it to the school principal.

My reaction upon hearing about this was not fear. It was fury, because, um, WTF? There’s stuff on my Facebook wall that kids shouldn’t see, it’s true. But I’m not FB friends with grade-schoolers, so if my wall is PG-13 or R-rated, no biggie. I’ll post just about anything on my wall; the “TMI” line is far, far in the distance. The only thing I’m super-careful about when posting on Facebook is spelling and punctuation errors, because GOD FORBID.

Anyhoodle, my guess is that this particular conversation was shown to the principal because I am on the PTO board, which means some people think I am held to a higher standard than other parents. Excuse me—I must laugh for a very long time now.

…

…

Still laughing. Sorry, it’s just so damn funny!

…

OK, I’m done.

As a member of the PTO executive board, I try to do good things for the school. Due to budget cuts, I volunteer my time to work on projects that wouldn’t get done otherwise. Along with a lot of other volunteers, I break my back fundraising so kids can have fun family nights at the school, field trips are cheaper, the library can get new books, we can show our teachers we appreciate them, and more. Being on the PTO executive board does not make me any better than other parents at the school. It doesn’t make me any more of a role model than another parent either. I’m just a mom. If I wanted more recognition for the PTO-related work I do, I’d find a real job, because as far as I know, I can’t pay my mortgage with the smiley “Hi, Mrs. Manullang”-s I get when I walk down the halls at school.

So, since *I* don’t think I’m anything special, why would anyone else? Why would a conversation on MY Facebook wall be any more deserving of a second look than a similar conversation on another parent’s Facebook wall?

Did it have to do with illegal activity?

No.

Did it have to do with school?

No.

Was it inappropriate?

For a school bulletin board, yes. For my Facebook wall, no.

Did it make me look like a bad role model?

Maybe. Maybe not. I suppose that depends on your point-of-view, or more importantly, IF YOU HAVE A FRIGGIN’ SENSE OF HUMOR.

Did I get spanked for it?

No.

I hope you’re happy, Humorless Fellow Parent. I don’t know what kind of good you thought you were doing, but you wasted the principal’s time and you angered a lot of people with your jackassery. If you expect me to censor myself for you, guess again.

Aug. 26: Kennedy’s um… legacy?

America’s royal family has lost another; Senator Edward Kennedy died last night. I’m supposed to be sad about this, aren’t I? I’m supposed to reflect on all the good things Kennedy did throughout his life, how he survived longer than his brothers, did so many good things for our country, and eventually became the patriarch of the Kennedy family? I just can’t do it.

I feel bad for his grieving family—his children, his wife, his many nieces and nephews—but I’ll admit that I don’t feel a great sense of loss or sadness over his passing. While the Kennedys may be our royalty, I’ve never been all that fond of their behavior, especially when some of them have acted with a sense of entitlement in situations where most people would admit they’ve done something wrong. I think of the William Kennedy Smith rape trial, Ted’s behavior (silence, actually) during the Clarence Thomas hearings, and of course, Chappaquiddick.

I was an adult before I understood the circumstances around Chappaquiddick. Until then it had been more of a punch line than anything else. I was an infant when the accident occurred, but I remember it being mentioned frequently as I grew up, usually when comedians were poking fun at the Kennedy family. I’m not sure how that was funny, but given the circus surrounding the O.J. Simpson trial, I guess just about anything’s game for satire.

What I find shocking is how Kennedy recovered from the circumstances surrounding Chappaquiddick to continue winning elections and garnering respect from his constituents and peers. It’s hard not to see him as the pantsless, partying guy he was portrayed as on Saturday Night Live in the 90’s. Fair? Probably not. But accurate? It sure sounds like they were close to the truth.

The Kennedy family released this statement this morning:

“Edward M. Kennedy — the husband, father, grandfather, brother and uncle we loved so deeply — died late Tuesday night at home in Hyannis Port.

“We’ve lost the irreplaceable center of our family and joyous light in our lives, but the inspiration of his faith, optimism, and perseverance will live on in our hearts forever.

“We thank everyone who gave him care and support over this last year, and everyone who stood with him for so many years in his tireless march for progress toward justice, fairness and opportunity for all.

“He loved this country and devoted his life to serving it.

“He always believed that our best days were still ahead, but it’s hard to imagine any of them without him.”

Their statement is (wisely) almost controversy-free. There’s no denying he was loved by his family. His work as a senator is admirable, and I believe he cared about making our country a better place. But it’s hard for me to separate that from the scandals of his younger days.

Mar. 17: Let’s make a deal

The deals I make with Vic are noticeably one-sided. They usually go something like this:

Jen: Here’s the deal. You make dinner and I’ll stop whining.

or…

Jen: Here’s the deal. If you’ll stop at the liquor store on the way home from work and get all the stuff to make yummy girly drinks and then make them, I’ll let you have some too.

Vic never wins in my deals. It’s gotten to where he’ll hear me say, “Here’s the deal” and immediately start shaking his head no. But you know what? Sometimes—sometimes—he still falls for it.

Like tonight. I was in a hurry to get to a PTO meeting at the school and I asked him to iron my shirt. He looked at me like I was kidding, like HOW DARE I pull him away from a very special episode of The Simpsons to do such a thing. And I looked right back at him like, that’s what the pause button on the TiVo remote is for, brainiac. I mean Honey. He didn’t jump up to get to my task immediately, so I sweetened the deal. Sometimes we wives have to do that. With my most genuine-ish smile, I added on those very popular words: I’ll make it worth your while.

OK, y’all, you know my mom reads this blog so you should know this is not going anywhere you might think because HELLO! My mom reads this blog! But Vic is maybe not as bright as you are, because he smiled real big and dreamily, and skipped over to the laundry room to iron. Yes. He skipped. I saw.

In the mean time, I finished getting the rest of myself ready and my shirt was hanging in the doorway ready for me to put on when I was done. Is he a sweetheart, or is he a sweetheart? I think he’s a sweetheart. I headed out to my meeting.

(It doesn’t have anything to do with this story, but in the interest of full disclosure, I’ll admit that I went to this meeting having forgotten to put on a bra. No, I don’t know how it happened, Sheila. Somehow in the mixed up order of things I put on a tank top while I was getting ready and forgot to change before I got dressed. I’d prefer we don’t concentrate on it, OK? Suffice it to say I kept my arms crossed the whole meeting long.)

When I got back home Vic was just leaving to get the dogs from the groomer. I sat down at my computer and updated my Facebook status to reflect the embarrassment of the bra-less non-wonder that I am. I walked into the kitchen and saw the pizza had been left out from dinner, so I wrapped it up and put it away. Then I put a few other things away, and before you know it, I was cleaning the freaking kitchen! Oh ja, I can hardly believe it also. I even swept the floor! I hate doing that stuff!

Victor came home just as I was finishing up. He looked a little surprised when he walked into the kitchen, so I put my arms around him and said, “See, honey? I told you if you ironed my shirt I’d make it worth your while, and I’m cleaning the kitchen!”

He looked at me and seemed a little disappointed. But after all that hard work I’m too tired to find out for sure. And who’s the chump who agreed to my deal in the first place? DO NOT feel sorry for the man. He ought to know by now that JEN ALWAYS WINS.

Edited to add: I mean it! Don’t y’all be thinking “Oh, poor Vic!” He knew the special brand of insanity he was marrying into long before he said “I do.” Just ask him; his e-mail address is… um… jennifer-at-manullang-dot-com.

Aug. 28: Gigglin' at the GOP

I love when news stories reveal that a jackass staunch Republican has been caught in an embarrassing homosexual situation and there is absolutely no way they can explain it away. Somehow when these scandals involve Democrats, it's no big deal (though I don't know of many), maybe because everyone expects hypocrisy from liberals??? Here's today's scandal, which involves an Idaho senator. I could not possible enjoy this any more.

Others, just to prove my point (links are to Wikipedia pages, only because I'm too lazy to look for more reliable sources):

Mark Foley
Ted Haggard
Ed Schrock
Jim West, Spokane mayor
Glenn Murphy
Bob Allen

I apologize if I've failed to mention a few of the other self-important "victims" of political and/or religious scandal. Ya think if these guys would just stop condemning others, maybe they wouldn't hate themselves so much?

My stomach muscles are begging me to PLEASE stop laughing at these jackasses. I'm evil, through and through. At least I don't mind admitting it. I'm also a registered Democrat and a mostly-liberal, and I don't mind admitting that either. Because remember, I'm an ordained reverend, and religious figures always tell the truth and are upright, honorable citizens. RESPECT ME, DAMMIT, WHETHER I DESERVE IT OR NOT!

—Jen