Showing posts with label camping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label camping. Show all posts

Jul. 18: Weekend recap

I’ve been talking about it for months, and now it’s come and gone. Relay for Life was this past weekend. Even if you weren’t part of it, I promise this post won’t be a complete bore. We had an almost entirely fabulous time, and you are about to feel like you were right there the whole 24 hours.

Saturday morning started with a downpour and it looked like we were in for a very damp Relay. We set up our camp site in the pouring rain, but by the time we were finished it was just sprinkling. For the next 13 hours or so, we had dryness. Whew.

See? Blue sky! Sunbeams!

After Opening Ceremonies, I walked the Survivor Lap and was joined by the rest of my team for the Caregiver Lap. I have the best caregivers EVER. If you’re not jealous, you’d best GET jealous—I really am the luckiest girl there could ever be. Here are just a few of my amazing caregivers:

(Mother Mary, me, Fancy Lori, Dana, Sunshine, Cindi, and Val)

I was thrilled to meet Dana for the first time—she’s my cousin’s cousin and until Saturday we had only met on Facebook. Dana and I have way too much in common not to be friends; in fact, I’m totally gonna say that she’s my cousin now. It’s the right thing to do, because she is awesome to the moon and back.

Throughout the day, friends and teammates came and went. We loved all of our visitors.

We kind of especially loved Jenn K and Dina, because they came by to drop off a care package. It was cram-packed with all sorts of delightful and necessary goodies, like Ben-Gay, Febreze for stinky tents and/or shoes, toilet seat covers for the camp toilets we didn’t have (THANK GOD), disposable toothbrushes, SPAM for protein, 5-Hour Energy for whoever had the middle-of-the-night shifts, sunscreen, glow sticks, M&Ms, and best of all, a bunch of happiness to pour into orange juice. All of this was arranged neatly in a box that was labeled “GENUINE HOE” and “HOE BITS.” Is that perfect, or what?

Yay! The CastaƱedas are here!

Jim Jordan suggested that “Sit Around for Life” sounds easier than “Relay.” Sunshine suggested “Buffalo Wings for Life.” These are both excellent ideas that I think need to be examined further.

The Turners have arrived!

In the afternoon, Victor and I were apprehended, handcuffed, and sent to jail. The charges were “abusing the cancer card” and “not sharing Cakesters” …

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… and to get out of jail, we had to do the chicken dance at center field.

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It was easy to figure out that Fancy Lori was the one responsible for putting us in jail. We didn’t get our revenge during Relay; instead, we’re waiting to surprise her with it. <Insert evil laugh here.>

The Archibalds dropped by!

Margaret and her posse showed up in the afternoon. They walked a couple hours and when it was April’s turn, she made Margaret walk with her “for just a little while,” which became the entire hour. Margaret *might* have been cursing her feet when she came back to the camp site. One of the day’s funniest comments came from her, though, during the Miss Rodeo Queen competition. When this guy walked by…

… Victor said, “Those aren’t real!” and Margaret asked, “But how does he get them to stay up like that? I try and try.” (Thanks to my friend Jenny—the REAL beauty in the pic above—whose FB album I stole this photo from.)

Katie and Kailey faced each other in a jousting match at center field. I don’t know who won, but I’m giving some extra points to Kailey because she competed with a broken foot.

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Some Knudsons (specifically, Knapps and a Clay) are here!

Mom and I made a “wanted” poster and a bunch of mustache props.


In case you can’t read it, the sign says:
WANTED
For being a killer of cancer, a fighter of important causes, and walking in circles for 24 hours.
REWARD
25¢ reward for the safe return of this little rascal
WARNING:
THIS PERSON IS EXTREMELY AWESOME!

Lisa Schroeder was our celebrity Hoe-Down. We were honored that she joined our team, and had fun hanging out with her for the afternoon. It was cute watching all the little star-struck Hoe-Downs interact with Lisa; they remembered her from her school visit in May. She just returned from her first visit to New York City and shared some advice with the Jordans, who are about to go for their first time.

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Many of the teams hosted on-site fundraisers like jousting, kids’ zone, the aforementioned jail, craft center, etc. The kids talked Jim Jordan and Vic into sumo wrestling. I took a million pictures of this because it was OMG so funny.

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The suiting-up took forever and required much assistance. Vic said the suits were super-stinky.
I guess being the FIRST sumo wrestlers of the day would be most sanitary.

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Victor took on the sumo wrestling look way too well. (Love the nipples!)

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That’s Emma, Jim’s daughter, watching with glee.
Look, Dad’s a dork, and so is his friend!

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This is totally something Jim and Vic would have done 25 years ago in college, probably instead of going to class.
I love that they did it as the old men they now are.

Alex F’n showed up in the evening, proud as can be to finally, officially be a Hoe. If you haven’t had the pleasure of meeting that boy, you are truly missing out—he’s a chip off his mom’s F’n block, for sure. She arrived just after 9pm, in time for CAKE!

In the evening was the birthday celebration for survivors. They had us all grab a section of a chain made of links representing each survivor participating in Relay, and we did a partial lap and then returned to center field for cupcakes. This was a good way to transition into the luminaria ceremony. Here are two gorgeous photos from my teammates:

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It was beautiful to see the track lined with the bags all aglow. We walked around a few times and took pictures of several of the luminary bags.

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Although the ceremony was almost exactly as I remembered it from last year, it really zapped me emotionally this year. I think that was partly because I felt so much more a part of the event this time, but also because my closest friends and family were there with me. And this year I really felt like a survivor, where last year I was still in the middle of treatment and felt like the “survivor” thing was a little presumptuous.

What also felt heartbreaking was the reality of what was missing. I was celebrating conquering cancer and remembering those who lost their fight—both incredibly emotional things—but there was a tremendous hole where my sister should have been. I have deliberately talked very little about this on my blog, but my sister told me months ago that I was too focused on my illness, that I didn’t appreciate the things she did for me and that I seemed angry at her all the time. Even though I told her that wasn’t true, she refused to discuss it. It’s been nothing but horrible ever since. I thought we had a breakthrough when Scout died, but I was wrong. If I knew what to do to fix our relationship, I would do it, because I ache for the closeness Kathy and I shared for 40+ years; that hurt was even stronger on Saturday night. It was like it happened all over again, and I couldn’t cry hard enough.

I hate that I have so much to celebrate and feel such a loss to be doing it without my sister. To not try to change that, though, is her choice. I suppose that should make me care less, but it actually makes it hurt more. Argh.

In spite of the extreme emotions I felt during the luminaria ceremony, it was still beautiful and moving. As Sunshine said on Facebook, it was the best and worst part of Relay for Life.

Most of us returned to our camp site and chatted the night away. We had lots of snacks for snacking and orange juice-ish beverages for beverageing. What more could a person want?

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Kim F’n-W, Sunshine and me
(Yes, Sunshine totally looks like she’s wearing a onesie. It’s a trick of the camera. Promise.)

I eventually tried to get some sleep while my awesome teammates walked the middle-of-the-night shifts. The people next to us talked loudly the ENTIRE night, and that kept most of us from getting any decent rest. They’re lucky we didn’t set fire to their tent. It would have been a teensy bit mean and illegal, yes, but also hugely satisfying, as the best crimes are. Sunshine and Val, you guys were smart to go home to sleep.

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Here’s Cindi with her four little Hoe-Downs, walking the last lap of Relay

Sunday morning we woke to a hard rain and lots of very wet gear. The camping rule “always leave your shoes outside the tent” doesn’t apply in Oregon, or so Tina told us as she poured out her shoes. We started to pack up our site and went to closing ceremonies at 10am. We gave much-deserved applause to the event volunteers. Lots of awards were given out, and The Hoe-Downs came in first place for team fundraising! Tony was the #1 individual fundraiser, of course, and I was #4. Another team donated $25 to get me over the $1,000 mark so I could be in the ACS Grand Club. Isn’t that nice of them? I tell ya, this whole event is nothing but giving and generosity. It’s a wonderful thing of which to be a part.

The Hoe-Downs were given signs that we’ll get to show off at our camp site next year for our fundraising accomplishments this year. We got bronze, silver, and gold. Woo-hoo! (Or maybe I should say “Woo-HOE!”)

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Me with some of the littlest Hoes—Jack, Katie, and Kailey

As exhausted as I still am after the crazy weekend, I’m already looking forward to next year’s Relay for Life. What will the theme be? What will we call our team? Who will join? What silly activity will we host for a team fundraiser? It’s all so mysterious and exciting!

The overall fundraising total for the North Clackamas Relay for Life was over $44,000, and the Hoe-Downs brought in about $10,000 of that. We are so pleased to have been such a big part of this event, but we’re especially grateful to the people who made it happen:

  • Alisa Gillett
  • Annette P. Johnson
  • Annie Patterson
  • April Henry
  • April Jordan
  • Barbara DeJager
  • Bill & Carie Maniscalco
  • Carole & Hugh Bobys
  • Cathy Salser
  • Charles Repp
  • Cheryl Herbsman
  • Cindi Edwards
  • Connie Witzing
  • Dan Kaempff/Kim Foren
  • Dana Gronemyer
  • Darlene Manullang
  • Darryl DuFay
  • David Archibald
  • Deanna Giubbini
  • Denise Rutman
  • Drake
  • Ed Reilly
  • Eileen Tennant-Grant
  • Flora Haus
  • Fran Tolle
  • Fred & Marie-France Ward
  • Fritzie Paine
  • Gail Hall
  • Gina Martinez
  • Heather Knapp
  • Ione Brunt
  • Iris Austin
  • James Austin Sr.
  • James Johnson
  • Janet Graziano
  • Dr. Jeremy Archibald
  • Jill
  • Jill Prestup
  • John & Patricia Tennant
  • Karen Dial
  • Kathy Millar
  • Kelly Turner
  • Kerry Silverstrom
  • Kimberly Wick
  • Kirsten Salvador
  • Kristi Knight
  • Laura Tarter
  • Leigh
  • Len Nguyen
  • Lenore Ritkes
  • Linda Mackett
  • Linda & Pieter Kokelaar
  • Linda Tennant
  • Lisa Schroeder
  • Liz & Phil
  • Lori & Anthony Hall
  • Lori Reisinger
  • Louise & Ernest Frankel
  • Lynn Cooper
  • Margaret Abdelfadi
  • Mark-Antonio (Tony) Grant
  • Mark Sokol
  • Mary Jenny-Saltmarsh
  • Mary Misono
  • Mavis Presler
  • Michael Ambrosino
  • Mike & Ruthie Newhouse
  • Murray & Maxine Leral
  • Nina Nelson
  • Norman Kulla
  • Pat Clay
  • Pauline Chan
  • Playa Capitol Group, LLC
  • Robin Rudisill & Marianne Snell
  • Sam Miller
  • Sherilee Coffey
  • Sunshine Buzo
  • Ted & Jocelyn Manullang
  • The Cyphers Family
  • The Donn Family
  • The Mick
  • The Sidewalk Cafe
  • The Smillies
  • The Storms Family
  • Tina Maciokas
  • Valerie Fukai
  • Victor & Jennifer Manullang
  • Venice Beach Suites LLC
  • Walter Zifkin
  • Wendy Wilson
  • Westchester Elks Lodge 2050

Thank you so much to everyone who donated, for all the ways you helped make this Relay the huge success that it was. Please know that every last cent you contributed is going to cancer research. We shall keel eet!

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Aug. 20: Because camping sucks

It’s shocking how many of my Facebook friends have been camping this summer. I thought the people I know were, for the most part, pretty normal. But apparently they’re more than a teensy bit insane. It saddens me. (Christina, RV/trailer camping is civilized, so I’m excluding you from my “crazy friends” list. You’re welcome.)

I think this video pretty well sums up what I think about camping, specifically the part where he gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and says to his friends, “Anyone wanna come and get killed with me, or you wanna get killed lookin’ for me?”

 

What’s wrong with the indoors, anyway? Y’know, there are creepy-crawly things outside. You really want to sleep on them? And there’s weather. Plus there’s all that dirty dirt—my god, the dirt!

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Aug. 9: Camping tips

If you’ve been paying attention, you know that camping is one of my favorite pastimes. I mean, who doesn’t love being filthy dirty and eaten by bears for three straight days?

You also probably know by now that I enjoy satire. The Onion is one of my favorite chuckle sites. Here’s another: Recoil. Today I want to share their camping tips with you.

Perhaps partly out of guilt for living so well, humans instinctually feel the desire to take to the woods carrying less than a third of their modern conveniences in the name of camping. Here are some tips to help you survive your weekend excursion:

  • Remember to register daily at the fairgrounds office, otherwise you won’t be eligible to win the prizes given out for setting off the wee morning firecracker that wakes up the largest percentage of campers.
  • Calling tech support in advance will make it much easier to get your Internet connection up and running at the campground.
  • In the event of a bear attack, lie down and try to appear lifeless. Men, ask your wives for advice on achieving this pose.
  • Never feed the wildlife, as this will make animals dependent on handouts for survival. The same goes for your children.
  • Make a scrapbook of close-up photos of each of your bug bites, to preserve the memories of your camping experiences for the members of your family that don’t die from malaria, West Nile virus, etc.
  • Do not, under any circumstances, pack a fire extinguisher. If by some miracle you do manage to get a decent fire going, you certainly don’t want to risk someone putting it out.
  • Keep in mind that sand, like vampires, can’t come into your place unless invited in.
  • You can get a lot of great camping supplies at your local military surplus store, although you usually need to know a password in order to buy the really handy and hard-to-find supplies.
  • Spreading a gross or so of industrial-sized tacks around the campfire will keep your baby from crawling into harm’s way.
  • Be sure one of your friends packs an axe or else years later your straight-to-cable true story horror/thriller won’t be able to get much of a plot going.
  • If you’re not up to packing everything and then driving 100 miles to some remote shithole, keep in mind that there’s no law that says you have to have slept in a tent to have license to not bathe and start drinking beer at noon on Saturdays.
  • It’s wise to find the nearest Laundromat to your campsite before it starts to rain. It’s also helpful if the Laundromat has a hotel attached to it.

I didn't write that last one, even though it is the only kind of camping I willingly do.


—Jen

July 31: Science question

Grrrr... I have three huge mosquito bites on my shins. So shaving my legs would be a bad thing, right? I would hate to risk slicing the top of the bite off, exposing myself to possible infection and gangrene and death. That could kinda suck.

I occasionally get normal mosquito bites; they're small and itchy for a day or so and then they disappear. And sometimes everyone around me gets a bunch of bites and I don't any. But usually I end up with these huge bites that look like I've been sleeping in a nest of spiders. Here are 40-some remedies for these very annoying summertime afflictions. I don't know if any of them really work so you can try them out for yourself and get back to me.

Which reminds me, here's another reason I won't go camping: I have been bitten by a mosquito TWICE on the eyelid, both times while sleeping outside in our "great" nature. Pffft.

And here's a really dumb mosquito killing game.


Now, how long can I use the mosquito bites as an excuse not to shave my legs? I mean, I might as well get some kind of good out of this.


—Jen

June 18: Camping sucks

I hate tomatoes. I may have mentioned that earlier today. But I also hate camping. This hatred can easily be traced back to the way I had to camp when I was a teen. The jackass that took us refused to pay for a camp site, so he would park on the side of a gravel road. Anywhere. There were no facilities, no fire pits, no running water, no hookups of any kind. Got the picture? That was how we camped, and it was a nightmare from start. To. Finish.

Showers? Who needs 'em?

Toilets? Find a stump.

I know! You're probably saying, "That is not camping! That is something homeless people do because they don't have a choice! It is not fun! It is not an adventure! It is not anything but you being cheap and filthy and cheap!"

I bet you're jealous you didn't grow up with that jackass. (He was not my father, by the way. This guy didn't give a $#!+ about me or Kathy, and we felt just about the same toward him. Not that I'm bitter or anything... )

Anyway, whenever the subject of camping has come up in the past 15 years or so, I do whatever is necessary to get out of the potential outing. My friends think I'm crazy because many of them love camping. But they are clearly idiots. "Camping" to me and Kathy, now that we can be bossy and control our environment somewhat, is a hotel with no room service. Blame the jackass for making us "camp" in hellish conditions, and blame our mom and dad for being ultra-clean bathing-type folk. Those things really just don't go together.

Unless you go camping with Carolyn Neil. She sweeps her camp sites. She makes delicious food that most people would not dare attempt while camping. She's a delightful camping hostess. I'll bet she even showers.

... and I have forgotten the point I was trying to make.

.
.
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Oh yes. I read this frightening article online and it just adds fuel to my non-camping fire. Read this tragic and horrific news item.

To sum up, I shall paraphrase the title of my favorite Charlie & Lola book: I will never not ever go camping.

I may hate camping, but it doesn't change my feelings for you one bit. Lovies!

--Jen

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