This pretty much covers today’s obsessions.
Happy windows-wide-open weather!
Showing posts with label mother's day. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mother's day. Show all posts
May 28: Month in review
Special days I celebrated this month and how:
- The end of National Screen-Free Week. Ugh. I celebrated by watching THE HELL out of Hulu.
- Teacher Appreciation Week at school. This is one of my favorite PTO recognition projects, and this year’s committee (Wendy, Dina, Jenn K) did a fabulous job spoiling our teachers rotten. They had a massage therapist come in for a day, lots of great gifts, and food food food. We have such huge classes this year that our teachers have definitely earned all the delights we can possibly think to give them—and a lot more often than once each school year, if you ask me.
- The end of our reading incentive program, in which we gave books to kids who met their reading goal. I love putting books in kids’ hands! We also put pizza, candy, and popcorn in kids’ hands. That’s fun too.
- Mother’s Day. We spent the weekend at my mom’s this year, and had a lovely, relaxing visit.
Gifts I gave and/or received this month:
- I made fun little gifts for the kids’ teachers and moms who help with PTO. The idea came from Pinterest, of course.
Yes, those are pull-tab cans with presents inside.
How I made them is a secret.
(Not really.)
- The kids gave me three big hanging flower baskets for the front porch. I love that this has become my traditional Mother’s Day gift. So cheery, so colorful! Also, dead-heading petunias is one of my favorite gardening tasks—the “refreshing the plant” part, not the “sticky fingers OMG so sticky seriously this is gross” part.
Books I read this month:
- Oh, just a book that was AWESOME and, y’know, has MY NAME IN IT! (You Take it From Here, by Pamela Ribon. I recommend.)
- The Abstinence Teacher, by Tom Perrotta. Meh.
- Unaccustomed Earth, by Jhumpa Lahiri. I’m not usually a fan of short stories, but these are beautifully written.
Movies and TV shows worth mentioning:
- I finally got caught up on all the TV I missed during Screen-Free Week. It took FORever.
- Smash finale: seriously, we have to wait until NEXT mid-season for this show to start up again? DAMMIT.
- Modern Family: still one of the funniest shows on TV.
New recipes or restaurants I tried:
After passing Buffalo Wild Wings on the way to IKEA every couple months for [how long has IKEA been open?], we finally went there. As sworn carnivores, this was a place that left us all happy. Stuffed, too. It’s not the best restaurant ever, by far, but we’ll probably go back again.
Special or unusual purchases I made:
- New phone cases. Mine is fun. Vic’s is yaaaawn.
- Miche shells and stuff.
- Other top secret things (at least until Mother Mary’s birthday in two weeks).
This month’s disappointments:
- Sunshine moved far, far away.
- I miss my Sunshine girl.
- If I think about it too much, I cry a LOT.
My accomplishments:
- This weekend I sorted through the linen closet and got rid of two HUGE bags of blankets and towels—approximately half of the linen closet’s clutter. I did 14 loads of laundry, and my most proud accomplishment is that I folded and put it all away! I went through dresser drawers, shoe boxes, hanging clothes—and Victor did too, so we had quite the trunk-ful for Goodwill. I washed cupboards and doors. I vacuumed everywhere and repeatedly. We plant-shopped. It feels satisfying to have gotten a lot done; lest you think this is the new Jen, I assure you that I spent pa-lenty of time not doing anything productive—I mean, it’s a holiday weekend, isn’t it?
- My Miche Bag Relay for Life fundraiser on Thursday night earned almost $400 for our team. Woo-hoo! Of course, this wasn’t my own accomplishment… thank you to everyone who shopped with me!
- Along with a few other editors, we got the school yearbook done. Anyone who’s ever worked on a yearbook before knows how great it feels to finally have the year-long project in print-ready format.
- I might never stop saying that living through Screen-Free Week was a pretty darn big accomplishment. I think I have PTSD from it.
Anything else noteworthy:
- We spent a gorgeous day at the Oregon Coast. The good feelings just last and last. Yes, the Oregon Coast is that beautiful.
- Katie got her ears pierced again.
- Last week we saw Million Dollar Quartet, one of our Broadway in Portland shows. All four of us enjoyed it way more than we expected to. What a fun evening!
- For the most part, PTO is done for the year. For me, this is kind of a big deal. For you, it means a lot less PTO-talk on my blog, and that is also kind of a big deal.
Smell ya later, doods.
May 10: Proflowers sucks
Not anymore.
Yesterday we were on the go until mid-afternoon, and when I finally got a chance to call my mom I was so tired, I opted for a nap instead. I know she understands, and she would have already received the flowers so she would know we were thinking of her on Mother’s Day even if I didn’t call until evening. When I woke up, there was this email from Proflowers waiting for me:
Sun 5/9/2010 5:00 PM
Thank you for your recent order. Unfortunately, we were unable to locate a florist able to complete the delivery on the intended date. With your permission, we would be happy to send the delivery on Monday, with a back up of Tuesday, to include a note of apology explaining the delay. Please accept our sincere apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused.
Please contact customer service to let us know how best to proceed as we would like to rectify the situation to your complete satisfaction. Thank you!
I was PISSED. Proflowers made me look like a rotten daughter. Their suggestion to deliver Monday (IF THEY COULD!) was ridiculous—sure, it completes my order, but isn’t the point of Mother’s Day flowers that they are received on Mother’s Day?
Immediately after reading the email, I called Mom and apologized. We talked for an hour or so, a conversation in which she told me several times to make sure I was NOT charged for the order, and I repeatedly assured her that no matter what Kathy says, I am still the better daughter. As soon as we hung up, I emailed Proflowers’ customer service and told them exactly what they could do with their service. Actually, I was civil and used no profanity, so YAY for Jen’s restraint! Right?
This morning I received a form letter that basically said they’d canceled my order as I requested and look forward to serving me again. Yeah, right. That’ll happen.
If I had received their message Saturday, or even Sunday morning, I would’ve been frustrated but still able to figure out another way to get a gift to Mom ON Mother’s Day. I realize this is one of the busiest holidays for florists, and that Sunday deliveries are a pain in the ass, but I also think that, having placed my order on Friday morning, there was no reason it should have taken so long to notify me of a problem. So Proflowers farked up Mother’s Day and now I hate them and I think you should too. Please hate them with me.
Apparently I am not the only one displeased by Proflowers, and according to this story, I’m lucky I was ever happy with orders I placed. (I should note that the article has to do with Proflowers’ own flowers, and not the orders they contract out to local florists. Still, I think it’s clear the company sucks.)
Here are some florists I recommend instead. If you’ve been especially pleased with any others, please share them in a comment:
- A florist Loveliest Lori uses has made me a very happy recipient several times: Calyx & Corolla.
- I like many of the Martha Stewart designs at 1-800-FLOWERS.
- Edible Arrangements are delightful treats to receive!
- Cookie baskets are festive and fun. Cookies by Design is one of the more popular cookie bouquet companies.
- Dan’s wife owns Geranium Lake Flowers, and a quick peek at the web site will show you what amazing work she does. Portland-area deliveries only.
Happy friggin’ Mother’s Day, Mom. I owe you a bouquet.
May 10: Mother’s Day
To celebrate today, I’m sharing some fun and profundity, as well as some of my favorite mom photos and a hilarious video. Enjoy!
Some Mother’s Day quotes
“Creating a warm, caring, supportive, encouraging environment is probably the most important thing you can do for your family.” (Stephen Covey)
“An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.” (Spanish proverb)
“You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around, and why his parents will always wave back.” (William D. Tammeus)
“If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much.” (Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis)
“The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she’d have children if she had it to do over again. ‘Yes,’ she replied. ‘But not the same ones.’” (David Finkelstein)
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” (Phyllis Diller)
“Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality especially while you struggle to keep your own.” (Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons)
Katie was just a few days old here. Scout was sooooo not thrilled about sharing my lap…
My Mother Taught Me…
To value a job well done: “If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
Time travel: “If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
Logic: “Because I said so, that’s why.”
Foresight: “Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
Irony: “Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Osmosis: “Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
Stamina: “You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
Weather: “This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
Hypocrisy: “If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
Circle of life: “I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
Behavior modification: “Stop acting like your father!”
Envy: “There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
Anticipation: “Just wait until we get home.”
Receiving: “You are going to get it when you get home!”
Medical science: “If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”
How to become an adult: “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
Genetics: “You’re just like your father.
Wisdom: “When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
Justice: “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.”
Four generations of Maher/Jenny/Saltmarsh/Manullang girls
Look! My grandma liked me back then!
You’re Really A Mom When...
- You count the number of sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they are equal.
- You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child’s favorite toy and made him/her cry.
- You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
- You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
- Your child throws up and you catch it.
- Someone else’s kid throws up at a party and you keep eating.
- You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.
- You mastered the art of placing food on a plate without anything touching.
- Your child insists that you read “Once upon a Potty” out loud in the lobby of the doctor’s office and you do it.
You hire a babysitter because you haven’t been out with your husband in ages, then you spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.
- You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it’s the only one your child eats.
- You find yourself cutting your husband’s sandwiches into unusual shapes.
- You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi’s mother.
- You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then you obsess when he skips in without looking back.
- You can’t bear to give away baby clothes—it’s so final.
- You hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you say, “Not in your good clothes.”
- You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
- You read that the average-five-year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is “above average.”
Baby Katie looked like she totally had me pegged:
“Mom, you don’t have a clue what you’re doing, do ya?”
Things Mom Would Never Say
- “How on earth can you see the TV, sitting so far back?”
- “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot too.”
- “Just leave all the lights on. It makes the house look more cheery.”
- “Let me smell that shirt. Yeah, it’s good for another week.”
- “Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day.”
- “Well, if Timmy’s mom says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.”
- “The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”
- “I don’t have a tissue with me. Just use your sleeve.”
- “Don’t bother wearing a jacket. The wind chill is bound to improve.”
Sean, Victor, Stephen, and Ron holding their beloved grandma/mother-in-law
A Mother’s Day video
We’re going out for brunch this morning with the ‘rents, which is awesome because we like them and because Sunday morning brunches always have giant pans of crispy bacon. Yum. No matter how you’re being honored and/or honoring your own mom today, have a very happy Mother’s Day!
Mar. 13: Bad day for Mom
I first saw this video a few years ago. I probably even posted it here, but-cept I’m too lazy to dig around and check. My friend Becky sent it to me today and I remembered how much I enjoyed it on its first round, so I must share (again?).
Every time I watch this, I ache from laughing so hard. It’s priceless, wouldn’t you agree?
May 11: Happy Mother’s Day
Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there.
With one exception, today has been pretty sucky for me. I woke up with a killer headache yesterday and it’s still going strong. Is it allergies? Is it stress? Who knows? Whatever it is, nothing I do makes it go away. This is exactly why curse words were invented.
The exception to my otherwise $#!++¥ day is the lovely morning I had. Wellington, Victor, Katie and Jack took me and Darlene to Mother’s Day brunch at the Monarch, and I loved it because the Monarch has very thick, greasy bacon. As if that wasn’t enough, the kids each presented me with sweet gifts they made at school last week. They also gave me three hanging baskets of colorful spring flowers, which distract slightly from the ugliness of our front porch.
Otherwise I’ve been feeling like at least three of the Seven Duffs (Sleazy, Queasy, Dizzy, Tipsy, Edgy, Surly, and Remorseful)—I’ll let you guess which, but does it really matter?
I hope all of you who have moms pampered them sufficiently, and those of you who are moms got to enjoy every minute of your day.
May 13: On Mother's Day
Happy Mother's Day to all the moms in my life: my own mother, who has keenly demonstrated the importance of following one's heart; my sister, who is raising two amazing boys and is always willing to share ideas without being big-sister bossy; my mother-in-law, who has an infinite amount of patience and love for her family (and--thank god--is nothing like the ogrish MIL of legends!); my friends, many of them in the early stages of mom-ness like me, who are sounding boards and much-needed sympathetic ears; and my friends' moms, who have blessed my life by making some of the most fabulous people on this planet. Thank you! I love you all, and am proud to have such strong women in my life.
--Jen
This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, wiping up spit-up laced with hot dogs, birthday cake and fruit juice saying, "It's OK, honey, Mommy's here."
This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.
For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who DON'T because they are busy working to put food on the table.
This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they'll never see. And the mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.
This is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal bleachers at football or soccer games Friday night instead of watching from cars, so that when their kids asked, "Did you see me?" they could say, "Of course, I wouldn't have missed it for the world," and mean it.
This is for all the mothers who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair when they stomp their feet like a tired 2-year-old who wants ice cream before dinner.
This is for mothers who have tearfully placed flowers and teddy bears on their children's graves. Whose children have died from illness, accidents and the worst of all and hardest to comprehend, suicides.
This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn't.
For all the mothers who read "Goodnight, Moon" twice a night for a year, and then read it again, "just one more time."
This is for all the mothers who taught their children to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.
This is for all the mothers who taught their sons to cook and sew and their daughters to be brave and strong. (And sink a jump shot.)
This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls "Mom?" in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home.
This is for all the mothers who sent their kids to school with stomach aches, assuring them they'd be just FINE once they got there, only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up right away.
This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can't find the words to reach them.
For all the mothers who bite their lips sometimes until they bleed when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.
What makes a good mother anyway? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?
Or is it heart? Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 A.M. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a fire, a car accident, a child dying?
This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation. And mature mothers learning to let go.
For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. Grandmothers whose wisdom and love remains a constant for their grown children and their children's children.
--Author unknown
May 11: Stuff I stole today
My head hurts. Bad. Like, so bad I'll scream if anyone asks me to do something or insists on talking to me or looks in my general direction. Not a good day for a "Mom & Me" brunch at preschool, but Jack says I must go anyway. Gah. Miss Crystal'll be sorry she invited me.
Also, I'm mad at computers today. Long story. Not interesting.
Since I am in no mood or shape to think up thoughts all by myself today, I'm going to use the age-old blogger's technique of borrowing from another web site. These things actually made me kinda chuckle this morning.
Lame joke du jour (oregonlive.com):
What's the definition of the word "aspect"?
What you get when you bend over a chicken coop.
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? (kgbreport.com)
Probable future names of Hershey's candies, adding to the progression of Kisses® to Hugs® (mcsweeneys.net):
- Hershey's Kisses®
- Hershey's Hugs®
- Hershey's Handshakes
- Hershey's Eye Contacts
- Hershey's Awkward Silences
- Hershey's Restraining Orders
Surprises in the new Spider-Man movie
- Rummaging through the attic, Peter discovers that his kindly old Aunt May used to be his Uncle Jay.
- Near the beginning of the movie, Spider-Man sits down and addresses the audience directly saying, "Having gotten your attention with the previous films, I'd like to spend the rest of this one talking to you about something very important to me - The Church of Scientology."
- A surprising amount of screen time is devoted to Aunt May shopping for a new fanny pack.
- That it is possible to make a third installation of a series without it degenerating into utter crap.
- In the final shot, Spidey will reveal a new costume. It'll look exactly like his normal costume, but it'll have those armpit webs. Blackout! and roll credits.
- Action sequences are padded with footage from Spidey's 70s-era educational appearances on The Electric Company. Also included, a whole scene in which he teaches the audience about conjunctions.
- Following the trend set by the last two movies, now whenever characters make a self-referential comic book joke they will look at the camera, nod and wink.
- In a bit of fan-service, Spidey and MJ will be caught in the rain again. To "up the ante" and add more sex appeal, MJ will be revealed to have a superfluous, yet large, third nipple.
- Spider-Man and the New Goblin spend a tedious 20 minute sequence in which, in full costume, they enjoy a meal at Burger King. The only dialogue during this scene are the lines "Man, this is tasty!" "Mmm Mmm!" and "I'm having it MY way!" repeated several times.
- Continuing the series' trend of giving the villains stronger ties to Spider-Man, Peter discovers that Sandman may have killed his Uncle Ben and Kraven the Hunter used to date his Uncle Jay. (capnwacky.com)
That's all for today, because I like you. Just don't ask me for nothin'.
--Jen
P.S. Fourteen days until the new Pirates of the Caribbean comes out. Jack reminds me of the countdown several times a day ever since Vic told him last Friday, "Jack, there's only 21 more days until we can go see the new Pirates movie!" I'm actually a little more excited about Ratatouille (49 more days).
May 6: Mother's Day story
I received a cute little “Mom” story in an e-mail this morning:
We had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom. Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli.
Eli really loves ChapStick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my ChapStick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my ChapStick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.
Last year on Mother’s Day, we were having the typical rush-around-and-try-to-get-ready-for-church with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood. We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli.
I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my ChapStick very carefully to Jack’s rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said “chapped.”
Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn’t seem to mind. And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat’s behind or the hundredth.
And THAT is my favorite Mother’s Day moment ever, because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these glorious little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they’ve been using your ChapStick on the cat’s butt.
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