Feb. 23: Logic? What’s that?

Do you ever find yourself getting angry at really, really stupid things? Yeah, me neither. But if I wasn’t so calm and even-keeled all the time (cough!) and DID let myself get mad at anything, it wouldn’t be jerk-ass politicians or anti-vaxxers, it’d probably just be stuff like this:

• Side-by-side cabinet doors that don’t align properly. I think it’s due to house-settling, but it’s also possible we live right on top of a fault line. I know our crawl space is pretty deep…
• The possum that just moved into the neighborhood and likes to walk on our fence. Thanks to our beagle’s twilight “aroooooo”-ing, everyone knows about the possum from here to the next county over.
• Things I’ve misplaced and searched for and still can’t find.
• Sinuses. I’ve had it with mine and would like them removed, thank you.
• Over-enthusiastic parents that sit next to me for youth sports. The other day the score was something like 54-7, and some dork kept saying to other parents of the loser team, “Well, they got heart! You can’t deny they got heart!” If I’d known whose kid belonged to them, I’d have wanted to yell out, “Hey YOU. Your dad thinks you suck and you do! And bee-tee-dubs, your jersey’s tucked into your underwear.”
• Also sports-related: I don’t know the first thing about coaching a basketball team, but somewhere in the rec league coaches’ manual there are apparently instructions to leave rebounds to the professionals. Here’s my play-by-play of every single game so far: A kid tries to make a basket and EVERY OTHER KID ON THE COURT stops to see if it goes in (it doesn’t), and then a kid from the opposing team catches it and dribbles down the court. Repeat 7,398 times. Hear Jen scream. I know, rec league players are rec league players because they aren’t good enough to play in a real league, but COME ON. Even *I* know that rebounds are… things… you should try to… get.
• Kanye West. Seriously, people need to stop letting him do stuff. He is not the artistic force he thinks he is.
• People who drive under the speed limit. People like my husband.
• People who don’t obey traffic signs. “No turn on red” means WAIT, idiot. (That is NOT my husband. He obeys all the traffic signs that don’t have big numbers on them.)
• Broken stuff in my house.
• Broken stuff in my body.
• Madonna, trying way too hard. Sure, she looks good for being 85 years old, but WOMAN, PUT ON SOME FRIGGIN’ PANTS.
• And speaking of trying way too hard… Lady Gaga. My tune changed—slightly—when I realized she can play the piano and therefore might actually have some talent, but generally speaking, she is close to Kardashian-level overrated. And while her performance on the Oscars last night wasn’t the worst thing ever, by far, if you ask me, she had no business imitating Dame Julie.
• Dog hair everywhere.
• Text-speak. Well, text-spell, anyway. C U L8R, really? Is it really that hard to spell out “see you later,” especially with auto-complete on your phone??? Answer: it isn’t. So stop. I can’t read it.
• People who don’t proofread their texts before tapping “send,” making them impossible to understand. (Although sometimes that ends up being hilariously make-fun-of-able, amirite, Theresa???)
• Emoticons that don’t exist: the rolling eyes, the puking face…
• Those blue-ish headlights. They make my eyes scream.
• Muscle cars. Also antique cars—I just don’t understand the point. When I was a kid my dad bought an old car, and I would watch him night after night in the garage, restoring it. I remember asking “why?” an awful lot.
• Bananas that turn brown the second you bring them home.
• Weeds. Not weed. Weeds. Especially when they really ugly-up the yard but it’s too muddy to go out and dig them up.
• How my kid thinks I’m the meanest mom EVER because I remind him to do two things every day: practice piano and brush his teeth. Even with my nagging, he still manages to get out of doing one or both. At least he doesn’t tuck his jersey into his underwear.

Anything driving you crazy? Feel free to share. This is a safe place.

Oct. 7: Sports are for… momma?

As I’ve bitched about mentioned already, Jack is playing tackle football again this year. It’s an incredible thing to watch each game. And by “incredible,” I mean “frightening,” because the combination of not-too-serious and very-scary-looking injuries, refs who don’t make the calls they should, and that one horrid mom sitting too close to me (just my luck her kid had to be on Jack’s team)… well, they cause my blood pressure to spike, my anxiety levels to go sky-high, and my skin to do something it shouldn’t. I don’t know exactly what my skin does, but I just read that stress is not good for women’s skin. Thanks, Idiot Scientists! Like we didn’t know that stress is pretty much bad for everything.

And Katie is competing in cross-country again this year. After not-great finishes last year, she’s finally grasped the importance of building up her stamina. Even so, every time she gets home from practice, she whines and whines (don’t know where she gets THAT) about how exhausted she is. I remind her that cross-country is exhausting—the name of the sport implies such—and also that no one is forcing her to do it. Pretty sure she’s in it for the Nikes and the season-end pizza party—I mean, she only played soccer in first grade because of the post-game snack.

The fact that our kids’ two chosen sports share the season is no picnic for me and Victor; our afternoons are different every day and therefore impossible to remember. It’s really only our sync-ed online calendar that keeps us sane.

Mondays: Jack gets home at 4:30, Katie stays at school for CC practice and I pick her up at 5:15.
Tuesdays: K&J get home at 4:30, Jack has to eat a hearty snack and get his gear on so I can take him to FB practice near the school at 5:15, Victor picks him up at 7:45.
Wednesdays: I pick up Jack at school at 4:05, feed him quickly and head off to Katie’s CC meet 4:35-6:00 at a park or school in the district, Jack’s FB practice is near school at 5:15 (hopefully he can hitch a ride with a teammate; otherwise one of us misses the CC meet), Victor picks him up at 7:45.
Thursdays: Jack gets home at 4:30, Katie stays at school for CC practice and I pick her up at 5:15, she showers quickly before they both have piano lessons 6:30-7:30
Fridays: K&J get home at 4:30, Jack has to eat a hearty snack and get his gear on so I can take him to FB practice at a local park at 5:15, Victor picks him up at 7:45, or they end at 7:00 if there’s a HS football home game that night and the moon is full and you’re holding your head just right.
Saturdays: Jack’s football game, anywhere from Sandy to Hillsboro, anytime from 9am-5pm; he has to be there an hour and a half before kickoff—Victor usually takes care of this delivery, thank Buddha.

The whole sports schedule is chaotic, to say the least, because things like dinner, homework, orthodontist appointments, and piano practice have to happen in waking hours too. I still work occasionally, and those twice-a-day naps won’t take themselves. But there’s something that makes the crazy all worthwhile for me.

No, it’s not alcohol.

Well, it’s mostly not alcohol.

Several of my friends with kids in cross-country (like Stephanie, Cristina, Dawn, and Julie) attend the weekly meets. Football games are all-Dina-all-the-time, plus some other fun moms. Not only do we get to hang out and sip from our flasks all stealth-like, we get to pretend we’re good parents while we cheer for our kids.

Momma likes the win-win.

Oct. 31: October in review

Time to sum up October at the Manullangs’ house.

Special days I celebrated this month and how:

• No big celebrations for us in October. Just the regular ones, y’know, like Tuesdays.
• Lucy’s first birthday was Oct. 22 and we forgot. Oops. She celebrated her big day like she does every day—tearing through the house, chewing on everything she shouldn’t, and generally being a loveable monster puppy.
• We celebrated Halloween, obvy. Katie was a nerd, Jack was a football player, and Victor and I were James Bond and a random Bond girl. All tremendous stretches, as you can imagine.

Books I read this month:

• I finished The Prisoner of Heaven, by Carlos Ruiz Zafón. Compared to his other books in the Cemetery of Forgotten Books series, it seemed like only half a story; however, I enjoyed it and it kinda made The Angel’s Game make a little more sense. I eagerly await the next book.
• I started The Book Thief, by Marcus Zusak.
• My concentration is very short these days, and I haven’t been reading as much as usual. I hope to change that soon.

Movies and TV shows worth mentioning:

• I love having most of my favorite shows back on regular scheduling after a long summer of watching very little TV. ‘Round here there’s lots of Hulu watching of Grimm, Modern Family, The Middle, The Office, Parks & Rec, 30 Rock, Law & Order: SVU, Go On, Suburgatory…
• Katie and I saw Pitch Perfect. It was silly fun.
• Not a movie or TV show, but Victor and I saw a local production of the Broadway musical Avenue Q. Hilarious show.
• Very excited about Skyfall, the new James Bond movie (Nov. 9), and hoping Wreck-it Ralph (Nov. 2) will be a good family outing. Speaking of family outings, on Christmas Day, you’re going to find at least four Manullangs (and hopefully a Jenny-Saltmarsh) at Les Misérables!

Special or unusual purchases we made:

• I bought 50 mini pumpkins for the school’s Halloween party. Yes, that’s unusual.
• Mike’s Hard Pink Lemonade—it’s a special, October-only drink, and is very sweet and dangerously guzzle-able. Plus it helps fund cancer research—so it’s almost like you HAVE to drink it! If you don’t, I can only assume you like cancer.

This month’s disappointments:

• It was an incredibly stressful and busy month at school, and I found myself way over-committed. I plan to spend much of November catching up on sleep.
• I applied for a really cool part time job and didn’t make the cut. Bummer. All I want is a few (more) hours of fulfilling work each week with excessively high pay—is that so much to ask?
• Fall arrived. It’s my least favorite season, what with all the dead stuff and messy leaves and crappy weather and colds and flu. Pffft.
• I was very, very sad to hear that one of my cousins (actually, my cousin’s daughter) died unexpectedly. She was a few years younger than me. She went into a coma after having a bad reaction to medication and never woke up. We’ve also lost an uncle and aunt this year—not a good time to be a Saltmarsh.

My accomplishments

• It has nothing to do with me, but Katie’s cross-country team won their division championship, and Jack’s football team made the playoffs. I’m proud of my kids.

• I voted. Victor cancelled out one of my votes, but it was nothing important (to me). Better than most years. You’d think after 15 years of marriage that I’d have taught him better not to disagree with me.

• The incredibly stressful and busy month at school had some very good results—all events were well-attended, fundraisers are on track to meet our goal, and corporate donations are pouring in. Yay! As each big event ends, I remind myself that it’s my last year at the elementary school and IT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE ME SAD. Maybe next year at this time I’ll feel a big empty spot, but for now I look forward to a life NOT run by PTO.

Anything else noteworthy:

I can’t think of a single thing, mostly cuz I’m . Here are funnies:

 

And finally, this is my friend Val.
Is she the cutest thing ever?
I think she just might be.
And that’s her way-sweet grandma in the background,
adoring her granddaughter.
I love that family!

Go ahead, November. Give me all ya got. I can take it. (And by “it,” I mean “a nap,” which I’d like several of starting tomorrow, thankyouverymuch.)

Oct. 28: Proud/exasperated sports momma

Katie’s cross-country championship was last week. It happened right in the middle of a torrential rainstorm, and runners were sliding and falling down all along the route. The parents were none too thrilled to be there either; it wasn’t just the rain (we’re Oregonians and used to it) but the hail, wind, biting cold, mud, and moderate flooding. What a mess. When it was over, and they started announcing stats for the season and all that, I really felt like they needed to just say who won and let us all go home, but nooooo…

Anyway, Katie’s team won. This is from the weekly school newsletter:

Congratulations to the RCMS Girls Cross Country Team who are the 2012 Willamette River League Champions! This past week, the girls brought home some serious hardware in the form of a giant championship trophy. Earning league honors were the following students – L. Hayes won 1st place (girls league champion), M. Edwards earned 3rd place, A. Marshall 5th place, and J. Iranshad finished in 6th place. Also contributing to the league championship were team members: M. Benware, A. Betancourt, D. Cyphers, E. Edwards, K. Gwynn, M. Harris, K. Manullang, H. Ranum, A. Ruth, and R. Viola. Way to go girls!

Things for which I’m proud:

• That Katie participated in an athletic activity by choice.
• That she did it without whining (I think I whined a lot more about it than she did).
• That she was so excited about their big win—not for herself, but for her team.

And WOW, those Edwards girls! They belong to my pal Cindi. That Cyphers girl isn’t too bad either—in fact, getting to cheer for the girls alongside her mom (Dina!) made the season a lot more fun for moi.

So yeah, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure Katie only decided to join the team because I said I’d buy her running shoes, but in the end she really did like it. I hope she sticks with running, too, because wouldn’t it be cool if she DIDN’T inherit my trip-over-myself-ness and actually benefited from something her body does?

The other thing that happened recently was even more exciting (she said, knowing you would read her sarcasm between the lines): Jack’s football team made the playoffs. The results of two games yesterday mattered: Jack’s team had to win their game, and a Tigard team had to lose theirs.

Both happened.

Dammit.

This changes our travel plans for next weekend, and definitely not in a good way, but Jack is happy so I’m pretending I am too. We have at least one extra week of practice, and who knows how many games, and OMG will somebody just kill me because I am so tired of this sport! Don’t tell Jack I said that. Meh. Jack knows what I think.

Here are things that are amusing about 5/6 football:

• The way the boys congratulate each other after a good play. It’s so cute to watch those little guys doing what the big guys do. The coaches teach them a lot about sportsmanship.
• The “take a knee” thing. The boys are all so good about it—something unexpected happens on the field, and suddenly every kid’s on his knee. Even on the sidelines. I am sooo trying this at home.
• That kid we call “supernintendo.” Long story, but it makes me chuckle every time.
• The crying. There’s a lot, and sometimes it’s loud. I know I shouldn’t think it’s funny, but I just imagine that 15 minutes later, that kid’s gonna be really embarrassed that he wailed in front of his macho buddies. (Note: wailing is totally allowed for broken bones, concussions, etc. I’m talking about the stubbed toes wailing. Weeeeener kiiiiiids!)

I wish so much that my dad was around to see Jack play football. He would be crazy-proud to sit in the stands and cheer him on. Not to mention that Jack wears #7, in honor of Grandpa Curt’s hero. Melancholy face.

Alright, let’s get back to our regular programming. What are my kids doing succeeding at athletics anyway? It’s like they’re not even mine.

Aug. 9: Daybook

Today…

Outside my window... it’s overcast and not very sunny. It was breezy (chilly) during our PTO board meeting at the park this morning. That was not very fun. The meeting was productive in spite of the cool weather, though, because we are awesome.

I am thinking... that out of the corner of my eye, the pencil holder thing I just set on the floor looks like my dog sitting and staring at me. She totally does that, and I hate it and I’ve almost yelled at my pencil holder three times since I sat down.

I am thankful for... Victor’s day off today. He was on call, but home, for the first day in a long time. It was nice to see him! I’m also thankful for my mom being here. She’s fun to hang with, and she does good things like take Jack to swimming lessons and run to the grocery store for us and cook for our kids.

From the kitchen... we’re at one of those stages where the pantry contents are totally unappealing, the refrigerator’s mostly empty, and we definitely need to do some menu planning and grocery shopping. I hate when we get like this. It makes every meal such a chore.

I am creating... a new format for the PTO budget, and it’s taking every last brain cell. Don’t tell anyone, but I don’t think I’m smart enough for this job. Or, possibly, any job.

I am going... to chemo tomorrow. Mom’s my chemo buddy.

I am reading... very inconsistently lately. I started a new book last week and when I picked it up a few days later I had to start from the beginning again because I couldn’t remember anything I’d already read. What’s with my concentration these days? I think the PTO budget ate it.

I am hoping... this dandruff shampoo friggin’ works. Why it was behind a locked barrier in the store, I don’t know, but I wasn’t about to go ask someone to open it for me. Can you imagine? “Cootie-skank on Aisle 4 has dandruff! Key-holder to Aisle 4 where we store the dandruff shampoo and STD creams behind locked barriers because only skanks have dandruff and STDs and everyone knows they shoplift!” Fortunately, Mom has long arms and she just reached right in there and grabbed what I needed. It was embarrassing as hell buying dandruff shampoo, though. I hope the 20 glue sticks I bought at the same time distracted the cashier.

I am hearing... the neighbor kids yelling outside. This doesn’t bother me; I love living where kids can play safely at dusk. I’m also hearing Gilly bark at every one of those kids’ sounds. This kinda does bother me. His bark is MONSTER, and I pee a little every time.

Around the house... Mom is doing lots of our chores, including cleaning up our pee puddles. Thanks, Mom!

One of my favorite things... is new school supplies, which my dining room table is full of right now. I’ve got tons for my own kids and a bunch for donating too.

A few plans for the rest of the week: chemo tomorrow, work (hopefully) on Wednesday, Moms’ Night for Jack’s new football league, the end of Jack’s swimming lessons, and a trip to Salem on Saturday.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...

Want to blog your own Daybook? Here’s the info: The Simple Woman’s Daybook.

Aug. 6: IDCEAYWTPFriday

It’s Friday, and that means you get a post called I Don’t Care Enough About You to Write in Transitioning Paragraphs Friday.

• This morning Katie and Jack stood and outside their rooms and argued. Jack said, “My [decorated] door looks cooler than your door.” Katie came back with, “My door is better organized.” Is that my girl, or what? Also, kind of a Miss Hospital Corners. So, y’know… yikes.
• Gilly is here with us for a couple weeks while Mom gallivants around the Northwest. The neighbor kids know Gilly now that he’s been here several times, so he gets to have mini-reunions every time our doorbell rings, which he loves more than a little bit. Earlier this week we walked him over to Fancy Lori™’s neighborhood for a play date with her puppy, Fancy Charlie™. How well it went depends on who you ask. We two-leggeds loved watching the dogs romp and chase. Gilly seemed a bit stressed over Charlie’s occasional over-exuberance. Charlie liked messin’ with Gilly except when Gilly tried to get his treats. Then Charlie became Snarly Charlie™, and who could blame him? They were LIVER treats. We’re hoping to get together again before Gilly leaves for more bark-y fun.
• Last night we came home early from dinner out with the fam because I was feeling so tired and needed to rest. About 20 minutes after I got home, Sunshine called and said she was kid-free and being impulsive and wanted to go to a movie. I got a burst of energy, I guess, because I got so excited to do something outside of my own house after 9:00, I said YES!!! without even thinking. Ten minutes after I got home I thought I’d collapse. I’m sure I’ll be paying for this adventure all day today, but it was tons o’ fun.
• The movie we saw was Charlie St. Cloud, starring the very yummy Zac Efron. [Attention: if you are Sheila R, stop reading now or you’ll be sick. Everyone else is allowed to continue.] Sunshine and I both have the extreme cougar hots for Zac. I still haven’t figured out exactly what I thought of the movie, but I will say this: the lighting people did a VERY good job making Zac look all aglow in every scene. I imagine that’s how he and I would look in our everyday lives if I was 20 years younger and he met me and he loved me back and I had hair. Perfectly, attractively lit at all times. Yes, I’m quite sure.
• Jack starts flag football next week. He’s been dying to do this. He thinks he’s already awesome at football and I don’t have the heart to tell him he throws like a girl. No, he throws like Nana. If she were Stevie Wonder. I don’t really care if he ends up sucking at football; I’m glad he wants to try and just hope it doesn’t turn into another soccer experience. Jack ROCKED at soccer but hated the game.
• This was a week of eating in many restaurants. It was pretty great. Kim F’n, Sunshine and I had lunch out on Wednesday, and later Victor and I had date night. Yesterday Mom took us out to Biscuits Café for lunch—I had the OMG Eggs Benedict Corned Beef Hash (I added the ‘OMG’ because OMG, it was delicious)—and we belatedly celebrated Daryl’s birthday at yet another restaurant. So much good food! So much good company! Also, some tiny hands.
  
  
  I had the pastrami fries at Kenny & Zuke’s. I ate approximately one-third before I gave up. That’s some serious meat and potatoes there! Sooo good, though. Love that deli.
• In spite of all appearances otherwise, I’ve been feeling pretty crappy this past week. I’m so, so tired. I’ve also been having more trouble with numbness and tingling in my left hand. I can’t lift heavy things, and my thumb is especially hard to use. I joked earlier about it being an iPhone injury, but have since changed the way I hold my phone and use the computer, and I’m still having the problems. Hopefully I can find some resolution next week at chemo. I don’t have an appointment to see the oncologist, but the chemo nurses can ask her questions for me anyway.
• We have a busy weekend ahead. The kids are going to Grandpa & Grandma’s for one last sleepover with Presley tonight. Victor’s working both Saturday and Sunday, which is not so great, but that means he’ll have at least one day off next week. With all the hours being cut at the hospital, I guess it’s good that he has the chance to pick up an extra shift here and there. We have a wedding to go to Saturday evening. Mom will be back sometime on Sunday and will hang with us for a few days before venturing off yonder again.
• Two of my favorite photos from this week:

Sunshine, me and Kim F’n having a girls’ lunch out
That there on either side of me are two of my favorite peoples!

Mother Mary is eating pig! PIG! And she’s not being struck by lightning!
(She always made me think I’d be struck by lightning if I ate bacon.)
(Because she used to be a little nutty.)

Have a great weekend! Many, many lovies—

Jun. 24: Thursday Thunks #10

Thursday Thunks (TT) is a blog meme for those who need a little kick in the butt to find something to post about. Your blog posts/answers to TTs can be type or pictures, doesn’t matter! YOU pick, not us, we just give you the assignment (yep, just like English class... only we won’t grade your spelling and grammar).

1. It officially became summer on Monday. What’s your favorite part of winter?
   I love the holiday season and snuggling up in warm sweaters and blankies, but I think my favorite part of winter is when it’s finally over.
2. What was your worst summer vacation ever?
   Probably one of my summers between two years of college. Some of those kinda sucked.
3. Tell us about the best job that you ever had.
   Definitely my software training position at Catapult. Fun coworkers, fun work, constantly learning new things. If not for most of the students from one large county, it would’ve been PERFECT.
4. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?
   Someone I don’t like anyway.
5. An alien appears and offers you the opportunity to repeat one year of your life. You will still know everything that you know now. He explains that no matter what you do differently, when you are returned to the present nothing will have changed. What year would you pick and why?
   Hmmmm… probably 1989. I turned 21 that year, and wasted a lot of my time pining over a boyfriend that didn’t matter. However, there were a lot of good things too, so I’d want to repeat that year to fix the stupid stuff I did and re-live all the awesomeness.
6. Name three things you have on you at all times. Explain why.
   Phone— for obvious reasons.
   Lipstick—can’t stand dry, pale lips.
   Hat or scarf—these days, there’s always one nearby in case I have to do a quick cover.
7. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
   Probably that snotty exchange of letters between me and my grandmother a while back.
8. If you could have everyone in the blogosphere read one of your posts, which one would you pick and why?
   I have no idea. There aren’t very many I’m that proud of. I guess it’d have to be this one, in which I explain the mystery that is Jen. <cough, cough>
9. What would be the worst entertainment or sporting event that you could be forced to watch?
   With apologies to my football-loving friends, here’s my interpretation of that sport: someone blows a whistle, a bunch of guys run into each other and fall in a big pile, someone blows a whistle, the players spend a little too much time in the pile, the guys in the studio talk about the ‘play’ for ten minutes, then it all happens again. There’s also a ball in there somewhere. Sooooo booooooring.

Oct. 13: Coffee break post

Yesterday was practically non-stop excitement. Well, busy-ness, anyway. I felt like I barely had a moment to breathe or nap or watch a short SVU marathon. Days like that kinda suck. Actually, it wasn’t awful awful; there was fun stuff going on but it wore me out. That’s why you’re getting a bulleted list today, and FYI, it’s only as long as my coffee mug is deep.

• I had lunch with my mom yesterday. This time she didn’t climb any fences, but she did get lost trying to find us on the hospital campus EVEN THOUGH WE WERE RIGHT WHERE WE SAID WE’D BE. What are we gonna do with her, people? As Vic said, “She’s teaching our nurses and she can’t find her way down the stairs?” Fortunately, she’s not teaching geography. We had a nice lunch together when we finally connected. Maybe Loveliest Lori will drive up north to join us next time???
• I went back to work after lunch and there was too much to do so I’m going in again this morning. Another department requested some work too, and I don’t know if I’ll get to all of that today so I’ll probably have to work more tomorrow. Not complaining, not complaining! I didn’t work much last month so this is making up for some of that.
• Tomorrow the PTO is hosting a “Donuts with Dad” thing at the school. Kids will bring their dads and I betcha can’t guess what they’ll eat! Random Sunshine™ and I are plotting to hide at least one box of Krispy Kremes to devour later on our own, when no one’s around to see. Oink.
• Last night a bunch of bookstores did launch parties for the newest “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” book. Katie and Jack went, and both took their new books to school today to show off. I very, very, very much like to see Jack so excited about books. I haven’t read any of the Wimpy Kids, but they’re awfully popular so I assume they’re full of fart jokes.
• Over the weekend we planted tulip, daffodil, and crocus bulbs in the front yard. And when I say “we,” I actually mean “Vic,” because I don’t dare injure my back any further by working in the yard. I just pointed and said, “Here’s good” a whole bunch of times. The black-eyed Susans are still flowering wildly, but once they’re gone I think the yard will be bloom-less until the crocuses peek through next winter/spring. Bummer.
• Here’s a question for you gardening/landscaping types: do you mark where you plant bulbs? And if you do, what do you use for markers?
• Another one: is cat poop a good fertilizer? I sure hope so, because Millie seemed to think all the holes Vic dug in the yard were just for her.
• Victor is looking into starting his own blog. I think it’s just to get back at me. Promise me you won’t read it—it’ll be full of lies and things that make me look bad. What do you wanna bet he calls it “Stuff Vic Yells Back”?
• This Sunday Vic and Ted are taking Wellington to a Seahawks game. I don’t know about Ted, but Vic hasn’t been in the new stadium yet—it’s not even really new anymore—so he’s looking forward to seeing it for himself. As much as I hate football and care not even a little bit for Seattle’s crappy team, I do love the look of Qwest Field, especially how it’s a similar style to Safeco Field right next door, and how it’s changed the skyline. Seattle’s a beautiful city.
• Birthdays! Two important birthdays are being celebrated today! Jim Jordan, April’s husband, is 40-something, and Erin, my niece(ish) is um, younger. Twenty-eight? I think she’s 28. Best wishes to both of you from all of us! Many smooches.
• You’ve heard of FML, right? Here’s a new one: My Life is Average, or MLIA. Cute.

Coffee’s gone. Gotta get to work.

Sep. 6: Vacation’s end

We’ve been home from Sunriver for several days now and I still haven’t written about our last couple days there. I know you’ve been waiting. You know you’ve been waiting. It’s okay; you can admit it. I’m here for you.

Alright, so nobody cares. I’m writing anyway.

Tuesday was our most active day on vacation, and it was a lot of fun. Katie started out the morning with a tennis clinic. It was primarily racquet swinging practice, and she said she liked it. I’m not sure if we have a future tennis ace on our hands, but hopefully the clinic planted a seed of interest. We’ve failed in so many of our attempts to athleticize the girl…

Katie and I went to Sunriver Stables for a horseback trail ride. I was trying to remember the last time I’d been on a horse, and I think it was at Big Lake Youth Camp—probably 30 years ago. Katie has done pony rides before, but this was her first horse-riding experience. I was so proud of her—she really didn’t seem to be afraid, and she talked to her horse very sweetly. I did not enjoy her horse as much, as I was right behind them and got a colonoscopist’s view every time he took a poo. Ick. My horse frequently stopped to eat the grass along the trail. I was the last person in our group, and this made me even last-er, so I was getting irritated with him. But if I were walking through what was virtually an all-you-can-eat buffet, I’d probably stop here and there for a nibble too.

A trip to Sunriver would be incomplete without a visit to Goody’s. When we realized we’d been on vacation for four days and hadn’t yet gone, we bee-lined it to the Village. Yum.

I told Katie about the picture below, which was taken during my senior class trip to Sunriver in 1986, and she was not even a little bit excited to see it as soon as we got back to my computer. Whatevs. I think it’s cool—and also a little bit weird—that Goody’s looks EXACTLY the same now as it did 23 years ago.

In the afternoon we went to the south pool for a few hours. I saw many, many moobs.

We had planned for Jack to attend a golf clinic, but he thought miniature golf sounded like a lot more fun, so we went to a fun center in Bend. Jack got to try out the batting cages, bowling, arcade games and mini-golf. He would’ve done go-karts and bumper cars if we’d had time. Katie and I spent most our time playing Skee-ball. I love Skee-ball. I rock at Skee-ball. If Skee-ball were a real sport, I could call myself an athlete, because you know those 10,000-point holes in the upper corners of the Skee-ball target thingie? I got them TWICE. Katie and Jack exchanged all the tickets I won for a huge amount of really junky shit.

Wednesday morning we got packed and stopped by Goody’s again on our way out of Sunriver. While everyone else ate their Goody’s goodies, I did a little shopping in the Village. Darlene and I were disappointed to see The Paper Station had closed. A lot of other stores have shut down too, but there are quite a few new restaurants.

Just north of Madras is a rockhounding site, and we had promised Jack we’d look for thundereggs there on the way home. We had so-so luck digging for our own, and much better luck picking up thundereggs other people had left behind. When we got back to the store it took a while for a guy to cut all the geodes open, so we looked at all their other stones and chased chickens while we waited. Because we’re trashy like that.

Seriously, there were hens, roosters and peacocks EVERYWHERE. Most of the chickens had those fluffy feet things (slippers?) and were kinda cute. The peacocks were gorgeous, but I couldn’t remember if peacocks are assholes. They let us come right up to them, but I was afraid to try to touch them because of a bad goose experience in my past. An 80-year-old woman—the owner, I think—was very friendly and kept pointing out things for the kids to look at. She had all kinds of funny little stories. Eventually she ran out of stories and started in on a rant about how Americans overeat and her husband’s on dialysis and how she goes out of her way to tell every fat person she sees that they’re gonna end up on dialysis if they keep overeating. I didn’t appreciate this lecture so I tuned her out after a while. But what really cracked me up is right after she finished her anti-obesity speech, she went outside and lit up a cigarette. Oh yeah, she’s a health nut, alright.

I promised Dawn that I would share the web site of the guy we’ve been renting Sunriver homes from for the past few years. His homes are very clean, they all have wi-fi, and his rates are good, so if you’re interested in a trip there, check out the properties owned by Marvin Butler.

Sep. 29: Cheerleaders in my backyard

Shut the door and lock and latch it
Here comes Lizzie with a brand new hatchet!

I've mentioned many times that I love (most of) our neighbors. I do. I well up with joy every time we all congregate outside and yell at our kids together.

The neighbors directly behind us, I don't know well. Vic has had a little more contact with them, but not much. Their sons mowed our lawn for a few years. They had a puppy when our kids were toddlers, and K&J loved to talk to her through the fence. They're a perfectly nice family, they take good care of their yard, and we have no complaints.

Some time ago they got one of those fire pits that can be set up on a patio. There were many summer nights I could smell smoke wafting in our open windows and worried briefly that our house was on fire (if it ever is on fire, I will assume it's the neighbors' fire pit and will surely not get out in time). Once I got used to it, it was actually quite pleasant, almost as if we were enjoying the fire right along with them. They sit outside and chat until late at night and although we can sometimes hear them talking, it's rarely very loud and doesn't bother me. We keep our windows closed most of the time because of the A/C, so we don't even hear them some evenings.

They must have run out of firewood in the last few weeks because lately I've heard them chopping wood in their backyard almost every day. And the strange thing--the impetus for this post, in fact--is that the others root the chopper on. Every couple minutes I hear a big THWACK and then "OH!" or "YEA!" or "GOOD ONE!" or guffaws. Sometimes there's applause. After several chops I can tell that more people have joined the praise band. And when the THWACK-ing stops they all sit down to enjoy their fire.

Is my confusion over chopping firewood being an exciting spectator sport just because I simply do not understand? Because I do not understand.

I'm not complaining. I just don't get it. But I do know that I'm going to be veeery nice to these people. They have sharp things.