Oct. 15: Same old, same old. Also, I’m old.

I’ve been totally, completely swamped with PTO beez-ness lately. Our Jogathon is Monday and if my kid didn’t ask you to pledge him, it’s because I wouldn’t let him. We all have our own kids doing their own fundraising, right? If you’re feeling generous, though, it’s not too late. The top fundraiser in the school gets the field named after them for an entire year. I think that might just be the coolest prize we’ve ever offered. Suck it, Autzen Stadium. You done been overshadowed by a little elementary school in ClackamASS.

(I kinda love that my boy thinks he has a chance at having a sign hanging on the school fence welcoming his classmates to Jack Manullang Field. Delusions.)

One of the tasks I assigned myself for Jogathon was creating a playlist to blast across the field all day. This was a much harder task than I first thought; as I went through my iTunes library, I discovered that I listen to a LOT of really inappropriate music. I guess my mom was right way back when. Hm.

Here’s something I just found out, though, that’s going to make sound super-old. The song “Pumped Up Kicks,” by Foster the People is horrible. Know why? Here are the lyrics:

Robert’s got a quick hand.
He’ll look around the room, he won’t tell you his plan.
He’s got a rolled cigarette, hanging out his mouth he’s a cowboy kid.
Yeah he found a six shooter gun.
In his dads closet hidden in a box of fun things, and I don’t even know what.
But he’s coming for you, yeah he’s coming for you.

[Chorus]
“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You better run, better run, outrun my gun…”
“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,
You better run, better run, faster than my bullet.”
“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You better run, better run, outrun my gun…”
“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks,
You better run, better run, faster than my bullet.”

[Verse Two]
Daddy works a long day.
He be coming home late, yeah he’s coming home late.
And he’s bringing me a surprise.
‘Cause dinner’s in the kitchen and it’s packed in ice.
I’ve waited for a long time.
Yeah the sleight of hand is now a quick pull trigger,
I reason with my cigarette,
And say your hair’s on fire, you must have lost your wits, yeah.

[Chorus]

WTF? This is a totally catchy song that’s getting a lot of radio play, and most of us didn’t even realize what it was about until someone pointed it out. I’m a little bit horrified. My iTunes library has vulgarity and George Michael, but that’s about the worst thing you’ll find there.

I’m afraid if I go on anymore about this, you’ll start sending me nursing home brochures like they did to that guy in Up. I shall cease.