Aug. 26: Living with red pandas

Having a rotten day? Here's a lift: visit Cute Overload. Though most of the cuteness is in photo form, this video is a great example of the goodies you can find there. (The panda's expression after the head-butt is priceless!)


credit: Get this video and more at MySpace.com

j.

Aug. 26: Mother of the Year

I must be a terrible mother. I make my children light their own cigarettes, unlike Melanie Griffith here. It's nice that she doesn't let her 17-year-old daughter play with fire. Cuz that's dangerous.


Also, I don't dress like a whore. Or an Olsen twin.

j.

Aug. 24: News item from The Onion

New 'Baby Weinstein' Tapes Prepare Infants For Career In Entertainment Law
August 24, 2006 Issue 42•34

LOS ANGELES—Zazz! Entertainment, Inc. announced Monday that sales of their Baby Weinstein series of children's DVDs, CDs, and videotapes designed to inspire children under the age of 3 to pursue careers in entertainment law reached their 3-million mark. "We're proud to be the only multimedia company featuring colorful imagery of kids pre-verbally arguing their own contracts, playing with the building blocks of major franchises, and refusing to be seen on the screen with competing babies," company founder and producer Josh Noah Levy said. "And we're currently going to court to make sure we remain the only people doing that." Despite the success of such titles as Baby Spielberg and Baby Ovitz, production halted in July after several babies made what Levy called unreasonable demands for their mommies.

The Onion

Aug. 11: A letter to the good people at Tide

And now, for your enjoyment, a chuckle-worthy e-mail forward I felt was worth sharing:

Dear Tide,

I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all through my married life, as my mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out.

After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect!

I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people.

Regards-

Aug. 7: Bon voyage

Girl, you know it's true. Vic and I just decided on our tenth anniversary plans--we'll be going on a Disney cruise! This one will be kid-free.***

If you've been paying attention, you'll remember that we went on a Disney cruise in the Eastern Caribbean in April 2003 (trip report here). On this next trip we'll be on their Western itinerary (Key West, Grand Cayman, Cozumel, Castaway Cay).

And to my ever-optimistic sister, please refrain from mentioning the Titanic or Poseidon Adventure or Jaws or Davy Jones' pet kraken for the next few months, mmkay? Thanks.

More later.

--Jen
***And most definitely chock-ful o' guilt. (Are parents allowed to enjoy Disney vacations without their children???)

Aug. 3: You are now chatting with God

I just found this site that I have to share. It's iGod, and it's hilarious. I asked, "What do you do for fun?" and the response was "Random natural disasters." So it's true!


Bye for now... I need to get back to iGod with my very long list of questions. The guy's got some 'splainin to do.

J.

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