Aug. 25: Bar Crawl Haiku

Last night Dina, Jenn K, Tonnie, Val, Theresa, and I went out. Here is the haiku synopsis. This will probably mean something to six of you, and the rest will schedule an intervention for us all. (It's probably not a bad idea.)

It's Dina's birthday
Time for Alberta bar crawl
First we make eight rules

Cruzroom has tapas
Cocktails are mostly salad
Must be healthy, right?

Jenn K loves her drink
Tastes like Jen M's undies drawer
(Lavender's not food)

Next: Mash Tun Brewpub
Gross restroom, which Dina cleans
Jenn K writes on wall

This bar serves *spit* booze
"Aaron" thinks Jen M is mean
Snarkier than Val?

Monogamist, dog kicker
Serial killer

Didn't order dip
"Aaron" brings it anyway
Then strips off apron

Theresa leaves us
It bums us out... let's drink more!
Another round! Yay!

First rule is broken:
Jeeves can sit with us and speak
(Being DD sucks)

Young Ryan just lost his tip
"Aaron" is our fave

Frogs worse than spiders?
Forward girls have such weird fears
Four legs aren't scary!

Next bar: such a dive
We're carded; guy says we're old.
Bye, hipster asshole.

Abandoned shirt seen
Sequins! Let's break Rule Two... Wait.
Hand sanitizer!!

Someone missed the trash
But Tonnie's all OOOH, CUTE SHIRT!
Launder nine times, please

Next: patio bar
Jen M's drink tastes like Thai food
Tonnie lights us up

Steal the Guinness sign
Jenn K wants it! Dina scolds
Bossy anti-thief

Must find clean restroom
Unheard of here, just hold it
Kidney stones for all!

Val plays counselor
Good ideas. We take notes.
Profanity? Lots!

(I think I lost count
Wasn't there another place
Before whiskey bar?)

No! Pubs are closing!
We stumble, scream at locked doors
Just kidding. Too drunk.

Last place is Jeeves' pick
Please tell a pontoon story!
Jenn screams; Dina drowns

Head home, Jeeves at wheel
We're music critics, and loud
Jeeves now hates XM

Red roses in car
Silent driver, water, wine
Jeeves is like Jesus

Great night! No one fell!
We're glad Dina got older
Whose birthday is next???

- I posted this from my iPad using BlogPress (if it looks weird, that's why)

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