stuff jen says: Aug. 5: Things

I'm testing, yet again, a new blogging app on my iPad. Bear with me. This is still a real post, I promise.

Funny Facebook posts

Failbook was particularly entertaining in my RSS feed today.

If those photos don't display correctly, never fear... I shall fix the settings on my laptop and then I shall never use this app again, because if I can't control the photos in my posts, what is the point of living or maybe I might possibly be a tad overdramatic?

Parties and more parties

This past weekend all the Manullangs were in town to celebrate Darlene and Wellington's fiftieth anniversary (it was actually June 8). We found out one kinda major detail about them: Wellington never actually proposed. I think that might mean all their kids are illegitimate. That's totally what it might mean, right? For realsies, I figured I'd discover skeletons in the family closet once I married into it, but THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE. That is unnatural. The only conclusion I can make is that they exist just to make the rest of us feel bad about all the cuckoo-crazy we come from.

So... if you take all my Saltmarsh crazy and add in the Manullang non-crazy, that makes my kids perfectly normal. Whew.

(Do not argue with my logic. My mind is made up about all that stuff, thankyouverymuch.)

I love football!

This afternoon is the beginning of my most favorite thing ever: football practice for Jack! It's for many, many hours, on every single freaking day for the rest of my life! And then there are the games, which are every weekend for the rest of my life that I totally love to watch because my boy plays for about 84 seconds in each one! EIGHTY-FOUR SECONDS! Who wouldn't want to watch game after game after game like that?! I'm the luckiest mom in the entire world! I am totally not faking it for the sake of my son! I would never do that! Ever, ever, ever!

Things to do

I've been very project-y lately. Got the sewing machine running and everything. I'll share pictures of the frooots of my labors if they're not too embarrassing.

Laters.

Jen

facts of jen's life

So, who do you think you are? I think I’m Jen. People who don’t know me sometimes call me Jenny. That’s weird.

Tell me about yourself. I was born a small black child, and am now a grown-up, or at least my kids think I am. I’m in my mid-40s and live in the ‘burbs of Portland, Oregon. My husband is Victor, and my kids are Katie and Jack. Read this if you want the real and very long scoop.

Tell me things people might not know about you. I am an ordained minister and can perform marriages. Why no one has asked me to do this for them yet, I do not know. ● At the request of my Disney-hating friend Ed, I got mouse ears embroidered with the name “Satan” and I didn’t even get kicked out of Disneyland. It’s quite possibly the ballsiest thing I’ve ever done. ● I “helped” write this book, published in 2012: You Take it From Here, by Pamela Ribon. My name is in the back, and I’m still geeking out about it. ● I recorded a song in a studio in 1994 and it got local radio play for a few months. At least two times I turned on the radio in the car and my song was playing at that moment—very cool. ● I nearly died from a zit in 1986. I am not making this up. ● Victor and I once appeared on The Tonight Show. Really. If you can find a VCR, I’ll show you the tape.

I read some of your posts and I think you might be an alcoholic. I drink way less than I write about drinking. If I ever STOP talking about booze, then it’ll be time for an intervention.

What do you love? Books. Coffee. Fonts. Broadway musicals. San Francisco. Bacon. Rum. Law & Order. Naps. Butter. Home. Crack cocaine. iDevices. Words. Disney vacations. You.

If you could punch anything or anyone in the face, what/who would it be? Cancer. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in November 2009. I kicked its big fat ugly ass and am in remission now. ● Comic Sans. ● People who won’t take responsibility for their problems—the “I didn’t do anything to deserve this!” attitude. Look in the mirror. That’s who to blame. ● Celebrities who are famous for no reason. Y’know, if we stop looking, they’ll go away... ● Bad grammar and spelling and the dummies who use it.

You seem bitter. Did someone piss in your Cheerios? I’m not bitter. I think unicorns-and-rainbows stuff isn’t very interesting to read, so I tend not to write that way. But also, now you’re being kind of a jackhole.

It seems like no one ever comments on your blog posts. Why is that? Most people comment on the Facebook links. I don’t know why.

What if I want to tell you something? Two ways to reach me: leave a comment on a post, or e-mail me at jenniferTAKETHISPARTOUTmanullang at gmail-dot-com.

Aug. 5: Things

Funny Facebook posts

Parties and more parties

I love football!

Things to do

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