Apr. 4: Daybook

First and most importantly, happy birthday to my dear friend The Lovely Deanna Gutierrez! Today I send you my very best wishes for an utterly enjoyable day.

Today…

Outside my window... I see rain, rain, and more rain. Pffft.

This weekend, I… had lots of down-time. My throat is hurting so much that it makes my whole body hurt. For the last several days I’ve awakened thinking I NEED TO STAY IN BED TODAY TO GET BETTER, but every day I find a reason to get up and go out and make my body fight harder. This is not good.

One other thing I did this weekend was watch Deliverance. I’d never seen it start-to-finish, and I was flipping channels and it had just started, so I settled in. What a disturbing movie—me no likey. I can see why it was such a big deal at the time, though. This afternoon I ran across an episode of SVU in which Ronny Cox played a physician, and I felt kinda sorry for him even though he was a bad guy, just because of what happened to his character in Deliverance.

It’s OK if you’re doing this right now:  

I deserve it.

I am thankful that... the kids’ report cards that came home last week show they’re both doing well in school. Proud momma.

I am working on... art projects in my office. If I feel they’re complete enough this week, I’ll post pictures.

I need to tell you about something I love: the iPhone app iAssociate 2. It’s a word association game and really fun.

I am kind of excited because… this weekend is my 25th high school reunion. Actually, the class of 1986 is celebrating in October, but it’s alumni weekend at the school so I’ll play along. And by playing along, I mean that I might go into the school building around church time on Saturday morning but there is NO WAY I’m going in and sitting down for the actual church service because, well, me sitting in church could very well start the apocalypse. Our class is meeting for lunch at Spaghetti Factory, and because of Lisa’s and my very delinquent planning, it’s most likely going to just be me, Lisa, and April there. At least I know we’ll have fun.

A few plans for the rest of the week: work, port flush appointment, lunch with Kim F’n and other fab friends, and a tour of the school Katie will be attending next year.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing: It made me giggle.

Have a good week, my pretties.

Want to blog your own Daybook? Here’s the info: The Simple Woman’s Daybook.

Dec. 14: The parable of the pantyhose

One of my prevailing childhood memories of church, besides giggling through the hymnal and falling asleep during sermons, is how frequently my sister got runs in her nylons. It happened almost every week. The reason I remember this is that the second that snag happened, time moved soooo slooooowly. Someone would finally give the closing prayer, and Kathy and I would grab Mom’s car keys, shove our way through the crowd in the foyer, and run down to our copper brown Ford Granada to yank and pull and tear her nylons to shreds. It was the very definition of excitement for us.

Sometimes she’d do this with a friend and wouldn’t let me play along, and that would totally ruin my day. But very rarely, I had a run in my nylons too, and we got to rip up both our nylons. This made for an extra-special Sabbath. Mom was never too thrilled that this activity made us so very, very happy.

Mom was one of those who stayed after church and found the weirdest people to talk to for hours and hours, while Kathy and I would wait for her in the car, slowly starving to death. We would beg each other to walk back into the church to get her, which was a problem if both of us were wearing shredded pantyhose. We’d sit there dreaming of the day someone would finally invent the cell phone so we could just call or text Mom to PLEASE OH PLEASE LEAVE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WE’RE ABOUT TO DIE FROM HUNGER.

If Kathy was here in person with me right now, I think I’d probably have a hard time keeping her away from my head. As of today, my hair is coming out in chunks with even the slightest of tugs, and I’m sure—like a hair-hungry school of piranha—the two of us could make me look like Grandpa Saltmarsh within minutes.

 Grandpa and me, before I looked so much like him

But instead of getting dirty looks from Mom, we’d be getting them from Victor. He’s not happy that I’m fascinated by the disappearance of my hair. Hey, it doesn’t make me happy either, but it’s an unfortunate fact of my life. And my cousin Deanna is right—at least I don’t have Saltmarsh ears. Yikes. [shiver]

Fancy Lori™ made me the coolest hat/hair/wig thing. It looks like this…

…but it’s a much prettier color and I completely, totally love it. The timing could not be more perfect, Lori. Thank you!

If you see me in the next week or so, I will probably ask if you want to pull out a chunk of my hair, especially if Victor’s not around to disapprove. It’s kinda cool, in a weird and wrongly inevitable way. Ye be warned.

Sep. 29: WWJLA? *

If, like me, you skipped church this morning (and every other Saturday morning for the past five years), this ought to make up for it. I'm a reverend, remember, so I know the rules.


*What Would Jesus Laugh At?
These bloopers, I think--they're funny.