Jack and I were leaving the grocery store this afternoon when he asked, “Did you ever think you committed a crime?”
Me: “What?”
Jack: “Did you ever think you committed a crime?”
(Thanks, that totally clarifies your question.)
Me: “What do you mean? Did I ever accidentally commit a crime?”
Jack: “Yes.”
Me: “No. Well, I walked out of a store without paying for something, but as soon as I realized it I went back in and paid.”
(Jack seems fascinated by this and is quiet for a moment—his expression says he’s picturing women’s prison visiting day and me running a tin cup back and forth across the bars of my cell while I wait for him to arrive with a file-cake.)
Jack: “Didn’t the alarm go off?”
Me: “No, it wasn’t that kind of a store.”
Jack: “What do you mean?”
Me: “Not all stores have alarms if you walk out with stuff.”
Jack: “So the alarm didn’t go off when you stole something?”
Me, possibly shrieking: “I didn’t steal anything! I walked out with it ACCIDENTALLY. I went back and paid for it.”
Jack: “Did the alarm not go off because there wasn’t electricity back then?”
And we’re not supposed to strangle our kids when they say stuff like that? Not even a little bit?
Love that boy. He's priceless.
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