stuff jen says: Sept. 27: One more mouth to feed

No, we're not having another kid, unless someone's invented something more powerful than a Prozac-Xanax-Vicodin cocktail for Mommy. Last weekend our neighbor brought us a stray dog (a Rat Terrier, just like cousin Shelby!) and we haven't had any luck finding her owners. That's actually not too upsetting for us because she's turned out to be a real sweetheart, and we're hoping to keep her. We've been calling her Casey, as in "at the bat," or the famed Yankees manager, not K.C. as in "& the Sunshine Band." Just to clarify.

I've added a couple new pages to the site. There are pictures of Katie and the first tooth she lost here, and another couple of pictures from soccer practice earlier this month. I'll add pictures of our sweet Casey once we're more confident she's here to stay.

Sally and Presley are visiting next week!

Hooray for the new TV season making my TiVo useful again. Now I can watch all that crap whenever I damn well please.

Time for a survey for you parents out there. Every once in a while I hear myself saying something to my kids that I never thought I'd need to say. This goes beyond "Don't run into traffic," and "We don't need to see the food in your mouth, thank you." I know I'm not alone, and I want to hear some of the things YOU have surprised yourself saying. For funsies, I'll start:

1. Do NOT take things out of the toilet.

2. Please don't spit on the dog.

3. We don't pee in the front yard.

4. Who left their sandwich in the bathroom?

Now it's your turn.

facts of jen's life

So, who do you think you are? I think I’m Jen. People who don’t know me sometimes call me Jenny. That’s weird.

Tell me about yourself. I was born a small black child, and am now a grown-up, or at least my kids think I am. I’m in my mid-40s and live in the ‘burbs of Portland, Oregon. My husband is Victor, and my kids are Katie and Jack. Read this if you want the real and very long scoop.

Tell me things people might not know about you. I am an ordained minister and can perform marriages. Why no one has asked me to do this for them yet, I do not know. ● At the request of my Disney-hating friend Ed, I got mouse ears embroidered with the name “Satan” and I didn’t even get kicked out of Disneyland. It’s quite possibly the ballsiest thing I’ve ever done. ● I “helped” write this book, published in 2012: You Take it From Here, by Pamela Ribon. My name is in the back, and I’m still geeking out about it. ● I recorded a song in a studio in 1994 and it got local radio play for a few months. At least two times I turned on the radio in the car and my song was playing at that moment—very cool. ● I nearly died from a zit in 1986. I am not making this up. ● Victor and I once appeared on The Tonight Show. Really. If you can find a VCR, I’ll show you the tape.

I read some of your posts and I think you might be an alcoholic. I drink way less than I write about drinking. If I ever STOP talking about booze, then it’ll be time for an intervention.

What do you love? Books. Coffee. Fonts. Broadway musicals. San Francisco. Bacon. Rum. Law & Order. Naps. Butter. Home. Crack cocaine. iDevices. Words. Disney vacations. You.

If you could punch anything or anyone in the face, what/who would it be? Cancer. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in November 2009. I kicked its big fat ugly ass and am in remission now. ● Comic Sans. ● People who won’t take responsibility for their problems—the “I didn’t do anything to deserve this!” attitude. Look in the mirror. That’s who to blame. ● Celebrities who are famous for no reason. Y’know, if we stop looking, they’ll go away... ● Bad grammar and spelling and the dummies who use it.

You seem bitter. Did someone piss in your Cheerios? I’m not bitter. I think unicorns-and-rainbows stuff isn’t very interesting to read, so I tend not to write that way. But also, now you’re being kind of a jackhole.

It seems like no one ever comments on your blog posts. Why is that? Most people comment on the Facebook links. I don’t know why.

What if I want to tell you something? Two ways to reach me: leave a comment on a post, or e-mail me at jenniferTAKETHISPARTOUTmanullang at gmail-dot-com.

2 comments:

AnonymousOctober 4, 2005 at 4:10:00 PM PDT
Well, here goes. I'll leave out the comments to my children that often involve expletives because...well..because it makes me look bad.

I've been astounded to hear, out of my mouth, the words "When I was your age I had to get up to turn the t.v. station and we only had 4 stations so it wasn't that hard. And we didn't have video tapes and we were happy to see Charlie Brown a couple of holidays a year."

Here's another. I told my daughter once "You sound like a broken record." And she looked at me like I was speaking pig latin (which, by the way, she's never heard of either!).
AnonymousOctober 18, 2005 at 9:01:00 AM PDT
Last week I actually uttered the phrase "No, sweetie, we do NOT lick our shoes."

Hey, please don’t leave an anonymous comment.
Select “Name/URL” below and you can use whatever name you want. No registration required.
Thanks! –Jen

Sept. 27: One more mouth to feed

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