Showing posts with label TiVo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TiVo. Show all posts

Jul. 23: IDCEAYWTPFriday

It’s Friday, and that means you get a post called I Don’t Care Enough About You to Write in Transitioning Paragraphs Friday.

  • On Wednesday, I finally thought to call and cancel the service on our dead TiVo. The customer service rep told me that that very day, July 21, was my six-year anniversary as a TiVo customer. Hooray! I love TiVo! Surprisingly, no balloons or giant checks were offered, and there was no freaky TiVo mascot thingie at my door—OK, I gotta kinda THANK BUDDHA for that. We were offered a replacement box for super-cheap and free service through November, and that’ll do just fine by me.
  • I’m absolutely in love with this blog I ran across: Issa Sarza. Tons of fun, easy craft-y things, printables, and all sorts of homey goodies. I think the monster tissue holder is especially goofy-cute.
  • My big re-organizing project is nearing completion, at least for now. These tasks are never really done, are they? I’m quite proud of how many storage boxes I’ve managed to empty, and the very large, clear space on the garage floor. Seeing fewer “go through this stuff” piles around the house is good too. Katie still won’t let me go in her room, but the rest of the house has improved dramatically.
  • I doubt I’ll see this movie, but the trailer is pretty funny:


    Vampires Suck Trailer
  • Do you like your orange juice pulp-free or with extra pulp? Sometimes I think the pulp-free is too much like Tang; on the other hand, the extra pulp variety can get awfully chewy. There are so many options these days, huh?

     
  • Did you hear that Plinky is back? It is! I was so disappointed when its developers decided to focus on another project, but thrilled to hear another group recently bought it. However, it’s kinda lame right now. Like, stupid-questions-lame. I’m going to give it a chance, though—its feed is back in my reader. Back in the day, Plinky prompts were frequently awesome.
  • Sherilee sent me the link to this fab collection of mojito recipes. Suddenly I’m so, so thirsty.
  • I’m totally bummed out after watching Deadliest Catch this week. Y’know, I knew back in February that Captain Phil died, but seeing his friends, family, crew, and the rest of the fleet get the news was just heartbreaking all over again. The season finale is next week and I gotta say, I’m kinda relieved it’ll be over for a few months.
  • I absolutely love this quote:

Have a great weekend, folks. Ours will be busy. I’ll try to post again soon.

Apr. 30: IDCEAYWTPFriday

friday Time again for I Don’t Care Enough About You to Write in Transitioning Paragraphs Friday.

  • I kind of resent the Blazer game when it pre-empts my favorite Thursday night TV shows. There, I said it.
  • Today’s a cram-packed day. I’ve got Rex Reader stuff to do at school, then a volunteer training session to run, then coffee with a friend, and then setup for Teacher Appreciation Week, the busy-ness of which begins Monday. In between those things I’m printing out a bazillion different types of tickets and labels and banners and signs and announcements for next week. My printer ran out of ink last night, so I also need to squeeze in a trip to Office Depot. At least this is my week o’ energy. If I were try to do any of this on Monday I would probably collapse in tears.
  • I had chemo this week. Wrote all about it here.
  • One of our TiVos died the other night. The electricity blinked off for a second, and poor TiVo never recovered. It was the first one we ever got, and lasted a good many years, so I shouldn’t complain but I’m gonna. If you have a TiVo (or DVR) then you know how much it changes the way you watch TV. Adjusting to the old fashioned way is no fun, even for a few days. We’re planning to replace the dead TiVo soon.
  • You know what gets Sharpie off your fingertips? Hot glue burns! I advise you just take my word for it. Victor and I both got really nasty burns on our hands while working on Katie’s covered wagon project. The good thing is that the project is done and ready to be turned in this morning. She actually ended up doing more of it than it seemed she would in the beginning, so I think she can proudly submit it as her own work, or at least mostly so.
  • My cousin suggested I look for a picture of the first Saltmarsh brothers to come to Oregon so Katie could share some of her heritage at school. In the process, I found parts of a journal written by a woman (I think she was my great-great-great grandmother) while on a wagon train from Iowa to Oregon. It was really interesting to read through. Katie went NUTS with pride; it was very cute, like she had no idea anyone in her family ever traveled by covered wagon. Of course, then Vic went on about how HIS family came over on boats, where they had plenty of room and didn’t have to burn buffalo chips for firewood. Those snobby Asians…
  • Saturday I’m having my makeup done and getting my pictures taken sans hair. I’m getting oh-so-nervous. I still haven’t decided what to wear, and I have no idea how these photos are going to look, and I’m totally completely freaking out over it. I really do feel like this is something I need to do for myself, though, and if nothing else, someday down the line my baldy pictures will be good for a laugh. Right? Laughing’s good. Wish me luck.
  • Speaking of the camera, I’ve been threatening to take pictures of myself like this for a long time, and finally got around to it. Let this to be a lesson to children everywhere: someone who wears their wig sideways and cannot apply lipstick well is someone to avoid. 

  • Something else I learned this week: y’know that long-wearing lipstick that lasts all day and won’t come off no matter what unless that matter is Vaseline? Well, if the only red lipstick one has is long-wearing lipstick, and one wants to wear said lipstick for a very brief time, one should make sure one has Vaseline in one’s possession before one smears said lipstick all over one’s mouth or one will be wearing said lipstick for a much longer time than one originally planned. (‘Twas a scary few moments until I finally located the Vaseline.)
  • Today is National Hairball Awareness Day. How are you celebrating? If you can’t think of anything, check out the Wikipedia page on hairballs—you can see pictures of hairballs! Which are not really ball-like at all! And you can read about humans who eat their own hair and then have to have it surgically removed from their intestinal tract! How better to celebrate a holiday such as this one?

Have a delightful weekend, my lovelies!

Feb. 19: Many things

The weather’s been gorgeous in Portland most of the week, and people are happy wherever you go. Don’t try to explain the calendar to me; I KNOW that spring is here and nothing—NOTHING!—will convince me otherwise. The crocuses have begun to bloom, and daffodils and tulips are popping up all over. Here’s just one of many things beginning to brighten our front yard:

Besides the weather, though, I’m feeling pretty crappy this week. I’ve actually been more nauseous this week than ever, oddly, and I have the weird acne-like rash again. I running on very little energy and I’m mourning the loss of my eyebrows—they are now officially and finally gone. There’s an awful lot to complain about when it comes to cancer, so I’m going to focus on the positives, briefly.

  • Showers take a LOT less time when you don’t have hair to wash.
  • No eyelashes means no mascara means I can cry freely and don’t need a mirror to fix myself afterward. Not that I spend a lot of time crying… certainly not while watching Olympians on the medal podiums… no way…
  • No eyebrows and no eyelashes pretty much means I put on a little lipstick and I’m good to go. My prep time in the mornings is considerably less. Of course, I look like a ghost and frighten children wherever I go, but at least I got out the door quickly to do it, right?
  • Naps.

That is all.

Last night Victor and I went to Legally Blonde: The Musical. It was cute, and VERY like the movie. The UPS guy was hilarious, the dogs were pretty darn good little actors, the actress playing Elle sounded a lot like Reese Witherspoon, and it was all big, sparkly, pink fun. A review of the soundtrack on Amazon compared it to Wicked (ha, not even!) and said the biggest difference was that the Legally Blonde soundtrack was better. “Whatev” is all I have to say to that. Don’t nobody be dissin’ my Wicked!

April and her fam are headed up to Vancouver today to absorb some of that Olympic-ness. They have tickets to a freestyle skiing (aerials) event. What a great memory for the kids! I’m super-duper jealous. Thankfully, she’ll be back in time to drive to Portland to accompany me at chemo on Tuesday. Hooray!

I can’t remember if I mentioned that we were going to go to Medford tomorrow, just for a quick overnight visit. Well, we decided not to go. The idea of packing all of us up, sitting in a car for 10+ hours, and dealing with my grandmother just wears me out. I feel bad, but I need to take care of myself, right? I got kind of a snotty note from Grandma last week and felt like I should try to set things right, but I honestly don’t think I have it in me. Also, it was snotty only because of her own refusal to listen to reason; she thinks I won’t LET her come to my house for a visit, when it’s actually that NOBODY wants her here, including herself! Mom can’t deal with her wheelchair on such a long trip, and Grandma either doesn’t remember or won’t admit that she’s always grouchy at my house because it’s so hard for her to get around. It’s easier for her, apparently,  to put it all on me. Oy.

The dogs have been napping on the couch since I came downstairs this morning, and I just noticed what Scout was cuddling with:

scout

Two of my favorite things: the beagle and the TiVo remote. smiley

Time to go outside and enjoy some of that sunshine. It’s spring now, you know. It is! No really, it is! Stop saying it isn’t! I’m not listening to your negativity. I can’t hear you la la la la la la la la la…

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Aug. 19: We’re a bad Nielsen Family

Homer Simpson’s TV wisdom

“When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle. They’re on TV!”

“It’s not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day.”

“Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.”

“Let’s just plop them in front of the TV. I was raised in front of the TV and I turned out TV.”

I rarely watch TV when I’m home during the day. Every once in a while I’ll see a movie I enjoy is airing on one of the Encore channels, or there’s a marathon of a show I like running for an entire day. Those are the exceptions. For the most part, though, when the TV is on it’s turned to Disney or Nickelodeon, or the kids aren’t around and I’m watching TiVo.

Most of the shows I save on TiVo aren’t the most appropriate for kids; they’re either dramas or naughty-humor sit-coms. When Katie or Jack walk in while I’m watching, I pause the show. If they start making themselves comfortable, I remind them that “this show’s not for kids,” and they grumble and stomp out because I am totally the meanest mom ever. I like quiet while I’m watching TV, and it’s very, very rare that I’m watching anything that would interest them anyway.

Until last week. Last week Jack came in and caught me watching the first Batman movie, which I found while flipping channels. It’s a fun movie; Jack Nicholson is at his best as The Joker, he plays it mostly campy, and the plot is much simpler than the later Batman movies. Jack has taken a sudden interest in Batman since he got the Lego Batman video game, and asked if he could watch it. I looked at Victor, and both of us did a quick inventory of the violence we could remember in the movie. We told him it was alright to watch, and he saw about half an hour of it before it was time for bed.

Since then, every time he’s come into a room I’m in and the TV’s on, he asks if it’s Batman.

No.

No, it’s not.

No, not this time either.

It was Batman once, honey, and it probably won’t ever be again.

Because here’s one thing you can be sure of: if Mommy’s watching TV, there’s a 75 percent chance it’s some variation of Law & Order or CSI.

It’s kind of Mommy’s thing.

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Dec. 11: Lame-ish excuses

I’ve been delinquent in my blogging duties. Presley’s birthday was Sunday—she turned five!—and Wellington’s was yesterday. No one’s quite sure how old he is. I planned long, celebratory posts with pictures and stories and then didn’t write them.

Lori e-mailed more photos from the big San Francisco weekend to which I was not invited. I would like to showcase them in a post or two, along with snarky comments about not being invited.

I have half a post written about crappy Christmas lights in my neighborhood—thankfully, none of them on our friends’ homes, or I’d have to censor my critiques and NOBODY CENSORS JEN’S CRITIQUES—but I have no energy to finish it. So let me ask this: neighbors, have you seen the blue icicle lights that are sort of hanging on that one house? I’ve driven around the block several times just to see them again because they’re so unbelievably awful and they make me laugh and feel fortunate I’m not married to whoever is responsible for such hilarious workmanship.

The fan in our master bath stopped working. After our showers the room stays full of steam for way too long. It makes me want to take my shower in the kids’ bathroom except I don’t because it’s the kids’ bathroom and the cooties in there are bigger than I am.

Yesterday the toilet in the half bath was running so I took off the tank lid to jiggle the float and it snapped right off. And now I have to go to Home Depot and try not to giggle when I ask where I can find a ballcock.

Christmas shopping is finally done and I’m happily sitting back, waiting for orders to be delivered. That’s a relief. I do all the gift-wrapping after the kids have gone to bed, though, which has put me behind on the TiVo-watching I usually do in the late evenings. I don’t like when I get behind on TiVo because there’s so much good stuff on there, I can’t possibly delete without watching. I’m able to transfer to DVDs to watch later but I tend to forget about the DVDs so that doesn’t work so well. Maybe I’ll take everything to Sunriver and spend the holidays watching CSI and Law & Order and Bizarre Foods and Dirty Jobs. (That oughta make anyone feel grateful for an uncomplicated life.)

Finally and most significantly, work is exhausting me. I’m still on a ginormous project and have reached the most challenging stage. I keep thinking I’m at a halfway point and then another issue pops up that takes twelve people to resolve and my progress gets delayed again. I’ve got every living brain cell working and because my noggin’s not used to such strenuous activity, I’m pretty sure it’s on the verge of striking back.

So there ya go. I have a bunch of reasons to blog and but other things are getting in the way. Pfft.

Aug. 27: ‘Eureka!’ moments?

USA Today has published this list of what they call ‘Eureka! moments,’ inventions that have changed our lives since 1982. (They chose 1982 because it was their first year in publication, but probably also because of four lovely people I know that tell me ‘82 ruled.)
  1. Cellphones
  2. Laptop computers
  3. BlackBerries (I'm guessing they mean the handheld electronic devices rather than the annoying pokey plants that keep showing up in my backyard)
  4. Debit cards
  5. Caller ID (in singsong voice: love it!)
  6. DVDs
  7. Lithium rechargeable batteries
  8. iPods
  9. Pay at the pump (in Oregon, it doesn't really make that much difference though; attendants still freak out if you start to get out of your car)
  10. Lettuce in a bag (why do they even SELL whole heads of lettuce anymore?)
  11. Digital cameras
  12. Doppler radar (yeah, it totally helps those weather forecasters get it right)
  13. Flat-panel TVs (I don't have one yet, but when I do I'm pretty sure "Eureka!" won't be the first words out of my mouth)
  14. Electronic tolls (um, okaaaay...)
  15. PowerPoint
  16. Microwavable popcorn (not me, thanks. If it isn't theater-style then it has to be naked. I still prefer air-popped. Oh, 'cept kettle corn)
  17. High-tech footwear (my vertical leap is way better thanks to my high-tech footwear)
  18. Online stock trading
  19. Big Bertha golf clubs (yup. tooootally changed my life.)
  20. Disposable contacts
  21. StairMaster (I think it's nice to be reminded that "the thing I hang my clothes on" actually has a name)
  22. TiVo (oh. my. goddess. This belongs ever so much higher on the list)
  23. Purell
  24. Home satellite TV
  25. Karaoke (has this really changed our lives in any other way than giving us something more to laugh at our drunk friends over?)

What do you think? Did they get it right? Seems like e-mail should be somewhere on the list ... those steps that let your old and/or fat dogs get up on the bed ... wi-fi at Starbucks ... Go-GURT ... in-car DVD players ... helmet laws ... online bill pay ... stadium theater seating ... The Simpsons ... disposable toilet brushes ... curbside recycling ... magnetic bumper stickers ...

What else?


—Jen

Apr. 11: Watch it

If you haven't programmed your TiVo to regularly record The New Adventures of Old Christine yet, you're missing out. The brother is the best! The show is consistently hilarious. Vic thinks I like it just because Blair Underwood is on once in a while, but that's really just a bonus. A big, big bonus. He is yummy.

C'mon, Season Pass™ it.

And lastly, I leave you with this little treat to brighten your day:

I hope that makes up for the annoying Pillsbury Doughboy video playing every time you visit this page. Lovies--

Jen

Feb. 18: This I believe...

  1. It is wrong that rose quartz is a beautiful stone but on my skin it disappears because it is the same color, yet my skin is not beautiful. Instead it is the color of unbaked, salmonella-laden chicken. I believe this is proof that there is no God, and if it turns out there is, then why do tanning beds kill us?
  2. It is a fact that logic eludes me.
  3. You've heard me say it before, but it's as true today as it was when I was 5 years old: Kraft Macaroni & Cheese is the most perfect food ever created.
  4. I don't think my husband should sing the words "moose knuckle" to the tune of "Moon River."
  5. It should be illegal for my children not to listen to me.
  6. It is wrong how much laundry there is.
  7. It is a waste of time to watch non-TiVo'd TV. You'd have to be some kind of sucker, a chump, a sucker chump.
  8. Speaking of TV, there should be more than one Thursday night a week.
  9. It is wrong that I had to remind Jack three times last week not to touch Scout's butt hole.
  10. We get way too much mail.
  11. Puddles suck.
  12. Life would be a lot more entertaining if it were a musical.
  13. The Doodlebops make me miss the Wiggles.


--Jen

Nov. 25: The Legion of Pale

How do I love TiVo?
Let me count the ways...



TiVo lets me go to bed at a decent hour because I can sleep whilst it records all the fabulous TV that airs in the wee hours. Then I can watch it at a reasonable hour. Before TiVo, I had to stay up to watch late-night TV, and then I wouldn't get enough sleep and I'd yell at the kids a lot.

Ergo, TiVo makes me a better mom.

Alright, that might be pushing it a little.

If you haven't seen Pale Force on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, you're missing out. These are little animated webisodes starring that "pale fella" Jim Gaffigan (one of my favorite comedians) and Conan (also portrayed by Jim) as superheroes who fight crime with their paleness. And they shoot lasers from their nipples. Tooooooootally makes sense.

Honestly, the shows are pretty funny. Conan wets himself often, and really, what's funnier than an animated pants pee-er?

If you don't have TiVo and don't like to stay up late, check out the Pale Force web site to catch up on all the episodes.

Also, if you don't have TiVo, why not? Don't you listen to anything I say? Do you think I write all this stuff for my own entertainment? Huh?

J.

Apr. 8: My HOA should KMA

Hello. I am angry.

I love my homeowner's association. OK, "love" might be a bit strong, but I like them fine. I mean, they made our neighbors repaint their house after a bunch of people complained (semi-gloss electric baby blue is just plain bad decision-making). Generally speaking, our homeowner's association does what it's supposed to do. I certainly do not get my $130 annual dues' worth of work from them, but whatever... when they're really needed they seem to get the job done.

I pay little attention to association matters, because quite frankly, I don't feel a need to. I've never gone to a meeting, never called them to bitch about a neighbor or ask why they haven't painted our curbs in eight years. But last year I happened to read the budget newsletter and discovered that sometime since we moved here in 1997, the HOA hired a community management company to handle our HOA duties. Fine. What bugged me, though, was to find that more than 70 percent of our annual dues go to the management company for their services, while the rest actually pays for stuff done within our community, like that guy that prunes our trees once a year. But this means that 70 percent of that stupid check we write every year goes toward a company that we're paying to accept the stupid check. Does this make sense? I don't think so either!

But again, I don't think it's worth complaining about because it's only $130 and I certainly don't want to take on the responsibility myself. So I begrudgingly write the check every year and forget about it. I've found it keeps my blood pressure at a more normal rate that way.

Enter 2006, and know that I'm turning beet-red as I type this. I sent our payment in January. In February I got a past-due notice from the @#$*^%s at the community management company. I figured my check crossed their letter in the mail, so I ignored it. Then in March I got another past-due notice. So I checked my bank records online and found that the @#$*^%s at the community management company did indeed receive my payment, and in fact cashed it in January. I also saw that the said @#$*^%s deposited my dues into a different HOA fund by transposing the numbers of the HOA id. I printed all this proof out, wrote a snotty note about the importance of keeping accurate records and what do I pay you for, anyway???... and put it in the mail.

After a few days I felt bad about being sorta harsh. I mean, people are allowed to make mistakes (I guess). But that was before today. Today I got two things in the mail from these @#$*^%s. They were the same letter, one sent certified that I had to sign for, and the other sent in the regular mail. Both were threatening to foreclose on our house for non-payment of our HOA dues, as well as informing us that a $45 "delinquency processing fee" (whatever the hell THAT is) had been added to our bill. My blood pressure shot up about 400 points. @#$*^%s, @#$*^%s, @#$*^%s!!

It's possible, I suppose, that my snotty note crossed their letters in the mail. I doubt it, seeing as their office is across town and I sent the letter more than a week ago, but whatever... they obviously had not read my reply before sending off their foreclosure threats. And I noticed they cc'd the HOA board of directors, and goddess knows who else. What do you want to bet that I hear NOTHING back from them when they discover it's THEIR error? What do you want to bet they don't send an "oops!" to the board of directors, who will now forever think those Manullangs are big loser-y delinquents? Again, I say: @#$*^%s, @#$*^%s, @#$*^%s!! So, my neighbors and I are paying a company for their bookkeeping services, even though they apparently cannot write numbers correctly and double-entry accounting is obviously over their pinheads. Remind me why I send these people money, please!

Not surprisingly, I could continue. Surprisingly, I won't (you're welcome). But if anyone out there can give me one good reason for letting these people continue to live, I'd love to hear it. Because I looked at their web site to see a description of services they offer, but all I found was news of their company "events"--Christmas party, summer party, third Tuesday of the month party, dancing in my money party, etc.

There are lots of new pictures on our web site! I finally posted the ones of that beautiful baby Gwendolyn Justine Nelson. Here's a fun fact... if you say her name fast, it just rolls off the tongue like one word: "Gwenelson." Cool, eh? I also added some new ones of the very cherubic Dorothy Frances Gutierrez. I put my nephew Stephen's neato senior portraits on the Voss page. Enjoy.

Have you seen the show "Stranded: with Cash Peters" on the Travel Channel? It's great. He gets dropped off somewhere without any money, and has to mooch off other people until his cameraman decides he's seen enough. This next week Cash is going to Orange County--something tells me he won't get into Disneyland without $$--and Seattle--I'm guessing he'll get a free latte without much begging, and will want to throw fish at Pike Place Market. Both of those ought to be good, since a lot of the times he ends up in very rural or remote areas. I liked the episode where he was in Mongolia or somewheres like that and threw up into a plastic bag, then handed it to a guy he'd befriended, who accepted it and went on his merry way. I'm quite pleased to say I don't know anyone who would do that (puke in a bag OR carry someone else's puke).

It was an exciting week at our house because we got another TiVo. This one, besides being several years newer than our first one, is also a DVD recorder. We can record stuff with TiVo and then burn it to DVDs and it makes us ever so happy. And with both TiVos hooked up to our wireless network, we can use one to watch something recorded on the other. If you don't have TiVo yet, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Do as I say already! Geez. Oh, and when you activate your service tell them I sent you (on tivo.com I'm JLSM97(at)verizon.net).

I'm headed to Boise soon to meet Gwen and Dorothy Frances face-to-face. Are you jealous? Because unless you've already met them, you probably should be.

I'm also going to WWC soon to talk about life as a trainer to JoAnn Wiggins' Training & Development students. This will be the third or fourth time I've done it, and even though it's a lot of work to prepare, I really enjoy it. I always feel re-invigorated and fall in love with my career choice all over again. One of the not-so-fun side effects is that I come home feeling really OLD.

Oh, and speaking of being old... I went to my twentieth high school reunion in February. It was great fun re-connecting with old friends. If you knew any of my classmates, or if you want to look at pictures of people you don't know, feel free to check out our reunion scrapbook at www.paa86.com.

You know I love silly stuff, and you know I love to share. Now you can find some of the images I've posted here and there at manullang.com in one place: Kicks & Giggles. It's a page chock-full of chuckles. And BONUS... here's a chuckle you don't even have to click for:



I'm now two weeks post-LASIK and still very pleased with the results. Driving at night, especially in the rain, is a little scary, but otherwise I don't notice a huge difference from how my vision was with glasses/contacts. I have a follow-up exam this next week, at which I'll get a better idea of exactly how good my vision is now and whether I'll need glasses or contacts, or if I'll eventually need a LASIK enhancement (that means "do-over"). The idea of going through the surgery process again doesn't make me too nervous until I remember the smell of the laser doing its thing: it's like burning hair. Yuck.

OK, it's late and I'm sleepy from all the cursing.

Jen

Nov. 29: Don't miss the Bi-Polar Express

One of the things that is NOT fun about the holiday season is the grey weather in Portland. Bleah. Nothing like taking a perfectly pleasant time of year and mucking it up with blustery-ness.

How was your Thanksgiving? Ours was unusual this year. My mom invited us to Walla Walla for the holiday, but a couple weeks ago I realized that Vic would have to work the day after Thanksgiving and was on call for the weekend, so we'd either have to make the trip very short or drive separately. On Wednesday I met my mom halfway between Portland and WW and handed Katie and Jack over to her, then went back home to spend Thursday with Vic. This was the best solution I could think of so we could all be with family for the day. On Friday morning I drove up to WW by myself and spent the weekend at my mom's. We had a good time--didn't do much, but it was wonderful to just hang out and relax together. Katie and Jack love being at her place, visiting Nana, and playing at the great parks in town. Mom had LASIK surgery (she prefers not to say she "had her eyes done") a few days before all this and is doing really well.

When the kids and I got home Sunday evening we were greeted by a house lit up for Christmas! Vic had hung lights on the porch and trees and bought a few new decorative things, and it was fun to see everything all festive. We're no Griswolds, but we have some neighbors that are, and the kids love to drive or walk around our nearby streets to ooh and aah at all everyone else's handiwork.

One of my personal favorite activities this time of year is to make fun of people's Christmas lights. This is definitely not one of Vic's favorite seasonal activities, nor does he really enjoy that it is mine. Nevertheless, I rarely hesitate to comment on the crappy job some people do hanging lights. A whole section of the icicle lights is out? Oh well, hang 'em anyway. Every fourth or fifth bulb is dead? Meh, who cares, it's too much trouble to fix. All the light strings blink except one? Well, I am not going to try to find one of those lights with the red tip, just to make them all do the same thing! Then there are the houses with the light strings that aren't quite long enough (or are too long) for the house line, but instead of trying to even things up, the idiot hangers just leave it, assuming no one will drive by, point, and laugh. They obviously have not met me.

I know I sound witchy, Scroogey, psychotic, shallow, and Grinch-like, but I really do love Christmas. It's just the people that make it ugly that I think should be punished severely.

Cool things I recommend for Christmastime, or gift giving/receiving, or whatever:

  • www.scrapbookpictures.com has some fun and unique photo gifts.
  • TiVo. If you don't have one, get one. Or buy it for someone else. TiVo is the best invention in the history of the world, and I am not exaggerating one bit.
  • An Amazon Wish List is a great way to keep track of stuff you want. And at this time of year, you can direct other people to it when they ask what you want. For the sake of those putting things under your tree this year, make a Wish List!
  • The 2005 movie version of "The Producers" starts in late December. If it's anything like the Broadway show, it is not to be missed.
  • www.photostamps.com, where you can order postage with your picture on it. No Hitler stamps, please.
  • Starbucks gift cards. You can never have too many, and you can never give too many. If you receive one and you're not a coffee drinker, do not despair; they have a strawberries and cream frappuccino-like drink that is dee-lish. They also sell some decadent treats this time of year.
  • Want to read some laugh-out-loud Christmas stories? Check out "Holidays on Ice," by David Sedaris. You'll pee.
  • Online shopping tips: www.froogle.com, www.mysimon.com, www.bizrate.com, and other similar sites are fabulous for price comparisons. And check out coupon code sites like www.flamingoworld.com for more savings.
  • You've probably seen them already, but they're worth watching again. These are the holiday movies I recommend this year: Love Actually, Christmas Vacation, White Christmas, Elf, A Christmas Story.

Here are pictures of Jack's fourth birthday party. Can't think of anything else for now.

--Jen

Sept. 27: One more mouth to feed

No, we're not having another kid, unless someone's invented something more powerful than a Prozac-Xanax-Vicodin cocktail for Mommy. Last weekend our neighbor brought us a stray dog (a Rat Terrier, just like cousin Shelby!) and we haven't had any luck finding her owners. That's actually not too upsetting for us because she's turned out to be a real sweetheart, and we're hoping to keep her. We've been calling her Casey, as in "at the bat," or the famed Yankees manager, not K.C. as in "& the Sunshine Band." Just to clarify.

I've added a couple new pages to the site. There are pictures of Katie and the first tooth she lost here, and another couple of pictures from soccer practice earlier this month. I'll add pictures of our sweet Casey once we're more confident she's here to stay.

Sally and Presley are visiting next week!

Hooray for the new TV season making my TiVo useful again. Now I can watch all that crap whenever I damn well please.

Time for a survey for you parents out there. Every once in a while I hear myself saying something to my kids that I never thought I'd need to say. This goes beyond "Don't run into traffic," and "We don't need to see the food in your mouth, thank you." I know I'm not alone, and I want to hear some of the things YOU have surprised yourself saying. For funsies, I'll start:

1. Do NOT take things out of the toilet.

2. Please don't spit on the dog.

3. We don't pee in the front yard.

4. Who left their sandwich in the bathroom?

Now it's your turn.

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