Jan. 1: I’m busy today

Today I plan to alternate between two activities: reading and beading, even though I hate rhymes.

Victor’s at work (booooo), the kids are still in bed and probably will be for a while, and five minutes ago I decided I’m going to do whatever I want today. I guarantee that a half second after posting this, something will happen that changes my plans. OF COURSE.

Reading

I got this book for Christmas:

Amy Poehler is smart and funny, which is the exact combination I look for in a friend. We’re approximately the same age, and she tries to learn from her past, which is something I like to do too. That’s probably where the similarities of our lives end. But sometimes she says (writes) things that I would totally fist-bump her for, were she standing in front of me. Here’s an example:

“Going from crying to laughing that fast and hard happens maybe five times in your life and that extreme right turn is the reason why we are alive, and I believe it extends our life by many years.”

If you’ve been around here for a while, you know that I one-hundred-percent-believe this is truth.

She wrote some really wonderful words about self-image that I love too:

“I had already made a decision early on that I would be a plain girl with tons of personality, and accepting it made everything a lot easier. If you are lucky, there is a moment in your life when you have some say as to what your currency is going to be … Decide what your currency is early. Let go of what you will never have. People who do this are happier and sexier.”

“Currency.” I like that.

Later she tells a story about a time she should’ve apologized but didn’t, and when she was given a chance years later and finally took it, realized how much the experience had eaten away at her all that time:

“Shame makes people abandon their children and drink themselves to death. It also keeps us from true happiness. An apology is a glorious release … a huge gift.”

Ugh. Shame does hang on when we let it, and it causes so much hurt for those affected when it goes unacknowledged. And… that’s all I’m gonna say about that here.

Right now I’m about halfway through Yes Please, so I’ll probably share more pithy bits and pieces before I’m finished—I’m almost to the chapter titled “Humping Justin Timberlake.” :) This last quote is actually from Hillary Clinton, from a letter she wrote to Amy’s newborn son:

“I know that your arrival brings great joy to your parents and entire family and I am pleased to join with them in welcoming you to New York and our nation. Best wishes for a lifetime that includes lasting friendships, boundless curiosity, a love of learning and a future that is shining and bright.”

Best. Welcome-to-the-world letter. Ever.

Beading

OK, I was gonna show a picture of my current project, but it’s a custom order and a gift, and I don’t think I should be tossing photos around just yet. So use your imagination… I have lots of these:

… and a bunch of these:

… and these are all around me:

There. That’s what’s I’m doing today. Thanks for asking.

Sep. 13: Stuff others say

It’s Day #13 of our September Blog Challenge. The topic:

What is your favorite quote and why?

I can never limit my favorite to one quote because at any given time there are LOTS that are very special to me. These four are my favoritest of all (this morning).

Here’s one about gratitude from Thornton Wilder:

I found this one and tweaked it to fit me better because OMG, it totally does:

This is such a sweet sentiment:

And because I’m kind of a fan of love, I think this one is beautiful:

You ask me next week what my favorite quotes are and they’ll be completely different. What are your favorite quotes today?

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If you’re a blogger and want to do our blog challenge with us, let me know and I’ll send you our list! Otherwise, tune in here (and on Sherilee’s happy little blog) every day in September.

Apr. 6: “We must try”

Wow. I just wrote a very long and totally depressing post about cancer, prompted by the recent death of Roger Ebert. I walked away from it for several hours and then came back, read it over several times, edited it heavily, and finally decided it was best to delete the whole thing. Instead, I will share these Ebert-related items:

Fans admired his courage, but Ebert told The Associated Press that bravery had “little to do with it.” … “You play the cards you’re dealt,” Ebert wrote in an email in January 2011. “What’s your choice? I have no pain. I enjoy life, and why should I complain?”

I love that, rather than accepting credit for a courageous fight (which, of course, he has the right to do), he says anyone else would do the same thing under the same circumstances. And yet, there are people who would complain, spread their misery, and bum everybody out… which is part of the reason I deleted my original post.

Here’s the thing:

We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn't always know this and am happy I lived long enough to find it out.

I am inspired to find new ways to contribute joy, even in the toughest times. That’s really all that I’m trying to say.

Jun. 25: Currently

Has it really been a week since I last posted? I guess when I blog in my head all the time, I forget that I’m not actually posting. Hm.

Listening

…to Michael W. Smith. I know, I cannot believe it also! I was browsing my iPod this morning, looking for something comforting and familiar, and there he was. I honestly don’t remember putting his music on my iPod; I have his entire discography on there, in fact, and even after all these years (since my Jesus Freak-itude ended), there’s something I still love about hearing his terrible voice over all that beautiful music. Must be one of those once-a-fan-always-a-fan things.

…to Katie practicing the guitar. This morning was #1 of four lessons. First thing out of her mouth when I picked her up? MY FINGERS HURT. I am so not shocked. She’s even whinier than I am. Really.

Loving

…the memories listening to Michael Dub brings. Seriously. Good stuff: high school, college, the years after college, going to concerts, being told I was going to Hell for listening to contemporary Christian music and arguing back with the a-hole who thought he was being helpful… wow. OK, some of them are good memories. Some are just memories that remind me why I have put my Jesus Freak-itude far, far behind me.

…the very different dog Lucy has become since Oliver’s been gone. I still miss him tons, but OMG, Lucy is such a lovable pup. We were never really able to see her true self amid their snarling and play-fighting. She’s a sweetie. Sherilee—Chief and Lucy would totally high-five each other if they could right now.

…the pretties in our front yard now that we’ve finally had some sun:

Feeling

…thrilled that my work friend, Terri, who had a heart transplant June 17, is doing so well. She’s already out of ICU and starting physical therapy. What a fighter, that one!

…grateful for first-responder types like Kim F’n. This morning I got news that a dad at our school was killed in an accident on Friday near Tillamook. I texted her immediately to see if she had been the attending paramedic—she was. It’s heartbreaking that one of our students lost his dad, but that the man had a person like Kim at his side in his last moments? We should all be that lucky. Thank you, Kim. (I hope I didn’t just violate HIPAA laws and get you fired.)

Wanting

…a magic wand. I would totally use it only for good.

…um… another one… to use for evil. Not gonna lie.

Accomplishing

…so much in my office! I attacked it this week with a vengeance. Furniture has been rearranged and much of the clutter has found new homes. Two huge bags of recycling and another two of trash, ready for the curb, is what makes me feel like I’m really getting something done. There’s still a bit to do, but it’s coming along. It feels very good.

Enjoying

…making summer 2012 memories. Katie and I saw Brave on Saturday—what a gorgeous movie. Pixar is pretty much just showing off now—I mean, how do they do it? Thirteen blockbusters in a row!

…a sense of relief now that the kids’ piano recital is over. It stresses me out way more than it does them, I think. My piano recitals at their age were terror-filled events that I willed myself to forget. Ick. Both Katie and Jack did really well yesterday and had big smiles afterward. Yay!

On a related note, I sat in a church for an entire hour and was not—even once! I counted!—struck by lightning. Vic still wouldn’t let me near the holy water though. Dawn and I couldn’t figure out how we’re supposed to get the water if/when we want it—cup? Straw? Just pick up the bowl and guzzle? Who knows? Not this un-holy (and un-fried!) girl.

sharing silly stuff

This blog is by a woman who tries to make stuff she finds on Pinterest. It’s all kinds o’ hilarious.

 

 

Katie likes her shrimp. The tails? Not so much.

 

I’m just gonna let this one go without additional comment.

And something from a smart guy

 

 

Later, doods—

Aug. 2: Wise words

This Maya Angelou quote is cram-packed full of profundity, which is a decidedly un-pretty way of saying what it makes me think: WOW.

Angelou is nothing but brilliant in her simplicity. I’m breaking up this long quote of hers by sentence so you don’t miss a tiniest bit of the wow.

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I know for a fact this is true, even though I forget it sometimes. After Dad died, during the most intense periods of my grief, there were days when it really didn’t seem like life could go on—or even that I wanted it to. It reminds me a bit of this W.H. Auden poem, which is a big ol’ downer, but very sweet at the same time.  

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

Uh oh. I handle rainy days just fine, but lost luggage enrages me and tangled Christmas tree lights can send me right over the edge. Actually, I just toss the tangled lights and buy new ones. So that’s better, right?

(It’s not better, is it?) 

<Sigh.>

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.

My dad and I had a good relationship at the end, and I adore my mom. I do miss my dad. My mom, though, well, SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE GONE FROM MY LIFE. Hear that, Mom? 

I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life.”

Even in my workiest days, I never considered myself a workaholic, but it took having a family for me to understand the difference she refers to here.  

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

Thank Buddha for this one. Or God. Or Allah. Or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Whoever passes them out, I’m just glad second chances come sometimes. 

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.

I hope that I’ve contributed somehow, or if not, that I eventually will. 

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

Yes, but that open heart has to work with an open mind… 

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.

WHAT???

Oh.

I get it.

Hm. 

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

As a not very touchy-feely person, this one’s a challenge. It’s probably a good thing that a lot of people in my life don’t care that I’m not a touchy-feely person and touchy-feel me anyway. They help keep my daily quotient of touchy-feely where it should be. 

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Nah, that can’t be true.  

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

This is probably the most popular of Maya Angelou’s quotes, or at least I see it around Pinterest a lot. It’s so true. I love it.

And I probably love you.

Jun. 28: Read between the lines

Here are a bunch of things separated by lines.

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This is pretty much exactly how I feel right now.

We watched The Hangover the other night. Val told us we were the only people on earth who haven’t seen it, and she loaned us the DVD and we watched it and it was funny and now I want to talk about it but nobody wants to talk about it because the sequel is out now and everybody’s talking about that instead but Tina told me it’s got a lot of wieners in it and I don’t know if I’ll see it in the theater because we so rarely go to movies in theaters and when we do it tends to become a family event and I don’t want to take my kids to see The Hangover Part II because I am a better parent than that… maybe.

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Dan posted the link to this David Sedaris piece on my FB wall today. My favorite part is about how he signed Judith’s book. I’m sure I’ve told the story before about when Sally went to a Sedaris show. She had been waiting in line forever to have him sign her book and Presley, who was a baby at the time, insisted they leave. Sally gave her book to her brother, who stayed in line for her. When he gave it back to her, she saw Sedaris had signed it, “It was nice to meet your brother.”

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Tony posted this quote to Facebook this morning. This is truth:

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Here’s a peek into my psyche that kinda explains why it’s so hard for me to get anything done around the house:

1. I decide I need a bulletin board for my office, but I don’t want an ugly bulletin board. It has to be bulletin board-like, though, because I need to hang stuff right in my face(ish) so’s I don’t forget whatever it is that’s important enough to hang right in my face(ish).
2. I buy a sheet of foam core. Foam core isn’t a bulletin board! I can still hang stuff on it, though. Perfect!
3. I decide the foam core isn’t sturdy enough. I hang lots of things.
4. I buy square sheets of cork to cover the foam core. That oughta strengthen it.
5. I decide putting cork on the foam core will ultimately look just like any old bulletin board and I am trying to avoid the bulletin board look. I forget things easily.
6. I take samples of my office colors to many fabric stores looking for a matchy-matchy fabric to cover the cork.
7. It takes two days too long.
8. I finally find the right fabric.
9. I find the right fabric just before our big party, and while tidying up I put it in a closet and forget about it.
10. I remember I bought the fabric but forget where I’d put it.
11. I remember where I’d put it—it is with the square sheets of cork. Dur.
12. I discover that the cork sheets are a different size than the foam core and I’ll have to cut them to fit. Have you ever cut cork? It’s totally messy and leaves an uneven edge. Even with fabric covering it, it’ll be hideous. I put everything back in the closet, and the bulletin board(ish) thing goes on hold.
13. I find a bulletin board for super-cheap at IKEA, and make a note to get it.
14. I remember I don’t want a plain ol’ bulletin board. Haven’t we already gone over this? UGLY.
15. I discover many different styles of magnet boards at IKEA. I vow to check them out.
16. I forget to check them out.
17. On my visit to IKEA with Sherilee last week, I remember the magnet boards. I pick one out. I do not get the PØØPLÎ magnet board. Only dorks get the PØØPLÎ. I get a SPONTAN. When I get home, I set my new SPONTAN on the dining room table. It’s thin and very flat, and I forget it is there. I don’t turn the dining room light on very often, obvy.
18. Yesterday I remember that I purchased a magnet board. When Vic gets home from work I ask him to hang it for me.
19. He goes to change his clothes first and falls asleep.
20. I wake him, but not at all in a screechy WHERE DID YOU GO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOW THE HELL DID YOU FALL ASLEEP THAT FAST WHY AREN’T YOU HANGING MY MAGNET BOARD??? way.
21. Hanging the magnet board requires a stud finder, laser level, drill, and apparently a lot of curse words, but eventually Victor gets my magnet board on the wall. Yay!
22. Now there is a big black circle in my peripheral vision. It’s okay; it’s supposed to be there.
23. The big black circle magnet board has nothing on it because I have no magnets for it. It might as well be sitting on the dining room table, or on the shelf at IKEA, really, for all the good it’s doing me.
24. I decide that, rather than using random refrigerator magnets, I want something pretty. This will require some pondering. I decide to sleep on it.
25. Because if I don’t have the perfect magnets for my magnet board, why bother?
26. After said pondering, I decide this morning that the magnets for my magnet board absolutely must be matchy-matchy with the other colors in my office. And so it begins again…

And this, my friends, is just one of the many reasons I hate myself.

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Happy Tuesday, y’all.

May 19: Mean people suck

I need something to take my mind off the people who are mean for no reason except to be big fat meanies oh my buddha I hate them so much I get all stabby and twitchy-eyed and I just know my day is about to become a Lifetime movie because I’ve got a lighter and a lot of flammable liquids in my pantry.

That image is of someone yelling, sure, but it doesn’t even come close to how I feel. I feel more like this…

…y’know, crazy enough over this that it shows. (Except I don’t have a porn ‘stache.)

I know I shouldn’t let these meanie jackholes get to me, but I’m human and I can’t help it. I just don’t understand how people go through their lives leaving a path of destructive hurt and cruelty behind them. My guess is that some don’t even know they do it because it comes so naturally to them, and I think that’s super-sad. I also think/hope that karma will get them in the end. Unfortunately, karma doesn’t always follow my timing demands.

I’m not completely self-deluded; I can be mean. I can. I just usually need a good reason for it. Oh, who am I kidding? Sometimes totally innocent people are on the receiving end of my grouchiness. I apologize when I’ve done something wrong or insensitive or mean. though—but only if I truly feel it. In in the end, I hope everyone gets what they deserve. I like that you-get-what-you-give thing. But mostly, I try not to go out of my way to be a meanie.

I don’t like being lied to, especially when it’s done in a two-faced way. Can I trust you or can’t I? Just wondering that makes me think I probably shouldn’t trust you. And when these liars are people I associate with regularly, that makes trust a constant battle.

I also don’t like having someone pissed at me when I have no idea what I did to deserve it. If they think I should know why they’re pissed, then I feel like an idiot and wonder if I’m just as clueless as they are and then I start hating myself and questioning every behavior and personality trait I can identify and then I feel like I need one of these things:

Or this might be more appropriate:

The problem is that when I’ve presented my case to an unbiased ear, if that ear completely takes my side and blames everything on the meanies, I question the validity of that too. I mean, when my friends support me and say mean things about the mean people, I appreciate it but I know they’re doing it because they love me. But someone I PAY to listen to me? They don’t have to be biased. They have to be honest, right? And when they say, “those people are jackholes,” then I tend to think maybe things are more like I see them than I thought. Maybe I’m not so far off when I say some people are mean for no reason.

Then I wish I was this:

Ultimately, because all of this uncertainty and self-doubt magnifies the tiniest issue, it makes me hate being a girl at times.

But back to my venting…

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…please ‘scuse me while I get some of this frustration and anger OUT of me:

 

 

 

And to try to change it around, today I’ll work on remembering this:

"Holding on to anger and resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die."

And this is a good one too:

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

Dec. 11: Faking it

The closing bit from Phil on Modern Family this past week was sweet and touching and all too true.

We like to think we’re so smart, that we have all the answers. And we want to pass that on to our children. But if you scratch beneath the surface, you won’t have to dig deep to find the kid you were, which is why it’s kind of crazy that we’re raising kids of our own. I guess that’s the real circle of life. Your parents faked their way through it. You fake your way through it. And you just hope you didn’t raise a serial killer.

I ♥ that show.

Nov. 30: ♫♪ Because ya got to have friends ♫

There are times when I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. Thanks for reminding me, you people who know who you are.

 

Oct. 1: IDCEAYWTPFriday

It’s Friday, and that means you get a post called I Don’t Care Enough About You to Write in Transitioning Paragraphs Friday.

• I’ve had a killer migraine since I woke up yesterday. It got worse throughout the day and hit its peak when I threw up all over the toilet seat. I have terrible vomit aim. Victor reminds me of this whenever I’m sick, which is kinda irritating, but he’s right as right can be.
• Val and I both have headaches right now. Normally something this sync-y would make us awesome, but this does not.
• The Jogathon fundraiser at the school has officially been kicked off. Today a bunch of us made absolute idiots of ourselves at Friday Morning Meeting. It was a blast, getting the kids excited and telling everyone about how it’ll go. Long after our display of foolishness, I found confetti in my ear—that means we had a good time, right?
• Yesterday Stephanie came to me with news that would make any mother proud: Jack can, and does, lick his armpit.
• I have an appointment on Monday afternoon with a surgeon to consult about getting my port implanted or inserted or injected or infuriated or whatever the procedure is called. I’m still waiting for my oncologist to say I don’t need a port—I fully expect it and THAT. WILL. PISS. ME. OFF. Don’t get me started. Anyway, the surgeon is the same one who did my surgery last year. I’m glad to not have to get familiar with yet another doctor.
• I kinda love these:

  

• I missed two very important birthdays yesterday by not checking in at Facebook. For Hawaii Laura and Margaret, I hope your birthdays were one of your best ever! Sorry for the delinquency. Please don’t be mad at me. I have cancer.
• Happy birthday wishes for today go out to my way-cool brother-in-law, Ted, and Sherilee’s pride and joy, Seth.
• I’m having a hard time thinking of anything else to say. My life is about 150% PTO these days, and I know y’all don’t want to hear about that. I’m so far behind on Facebook and Twitter and my Google feeds that I feel completely uninformed about everything else in life. Also, I’m trying to keep my dinner down, so, I gotta concentrate on that a little too. Sorry for the brief and yawn-worthy update.

“We’ll be fine, thank you! See ya! Hope you don’t get gonorrhea!”