Aug. 16: IDCEAYWTPFriday

I know, two weeks in a row of shirtless Ponch. I cannot believe it also.

• Jack’s football draft has finally finished and… well… he’s on a team. Today we got an email from the coaches, and besides a schedule that has entirely too many practices and games that involve football, it listed lots of reminders like these:

Parents parent, coaches coach, referees ref, kids get the fun job to play. Any time we cross someone else’s job description, problems will arise.

On game day: parents stay in bleachers, not on the track or sidelines.

At practice: parents, no shouting instructions or commands at their own child.

If you have a legitimate concern, talk to me at practice and ask for a time to meet the following day. No emails, VM or text. Talk in person (away from other parents).

Parents: Please try watching the entire spectrum of players, not just your own child. The best parents are those without kids, the best coaches have never coached, the best marriage advice seems to come from divorcees and single people.

• You know what that stuff makes me think? They tell us these things because parents have given them reason to and therefore, parents are unbelievable assholes! I can’t believe people need to be reminded to be decent human beings. I’m running for Football Parent Non-Asshole of the Season. It sounds like there might not be a lot of competition.
• Last night Dina and I went to The Bloggess’ reading/signing at Powell’s in Beaverton. Powell’s waaaay underestimated her popularity—they didn’t have ticketed signing and they ran out of books. It was insanity. And so was her presentation, but in the best way. I adore that woman and her very twisted sense of humor. If you have not yet read the silliness that is her book, put it next on your reading list.
• Why did the Olympics have to end? Pffft.
• The other day I straightened my hair. It took approximately four hours, and that’s why I was late to everything that day. The most frustrating part was not even how long it took, but that five minutes later my hair started telephone cord-ing up again.

• Here’s my advice: if you have chemo and your hair starts coming back all curly, don’t believe people who tell you how lucky you are. You are going to fight with that hair until the end of your days.
• There’s something wrong with Vic’s car and that sucks.
• There’s something wrong with my new laptop and that also sucks, though Vic might suggest his problem is worse. Whatevs. My laptop is making a loud noise that’s super-annoying, but I suppose it won’t break down on I-205 on the way to work.
• Here’s a picture for Sonya, my fab sister-in-law. I can’t wait ‘til she looks like Kim Jong Il!!    (And no, I don’t feel bad, because the Caucasian aging process is way uglier and starts happening way sooner, IMO. Like, in my case, at 32.)

• Did you see the season premiere of Grimm this week? It was edge-of-your-seat kind o’ stuff. I hate two-parters, but I’m glad there’s some new TV to watch, so I’ll let this one slide.
• This weekend Vic’s extended fam is going to Great Wolf Lodge. I love it there, but since I’m not a swim-in-public person, I have opted to stay home. BY MYSELF. It’s possible that I still win.