Jan. 10: Questions of the day

What makes a person put an empty coffee pot back on the burner? You do realize what happens when you do that, don’t you? And you know that the smell of scorched coffee hangs in the air long after the coffee has completely burned away? Yes, it might remind me of my Grandma Saltmarsh’s house—she was Queen of Putting the Empty Coffee Pot Back on the Burner—but I STILL hate the smell of burning coffee.

Are you quite finished, PSY? Please say yes. Pretty sure we’ve had enough.

Why are some people are so threatened by the term “gun control”? They scare me. They scare me very much.

Sometimes I think I’m invisible when I’m driving. That’s the only reason people would pull into the street and make me slam on my brakes, right? Or go 15mph on a 40mph street? Or back out of a parking space without looking? I never think I’m invisible when it really benefits me, though, and that is downright unfair.

Fleas. Why they gotta keep coming to my house? I have made it a very unwelcome environment for them.

Do we really have to spend the next 6+ months hearing Kim Kardashian talk about being pregnant as though she’s the first person on earth who’s gone through the experience? Remember, if we ignore these worthless reality stars, they’ll go away…

The trash collectors in my neighborhood are jackholes. I know that isn’t a question.

Why WHY WHY can’t my breakfast be made of Powerberries?

If Victor hadn’t left the empty coffee pot on the burner this morning, this post might never have been written. You are invited to thank him when you see him next by doing something incredibly annoying. Please.