Jan. 3: This'll make you itch

Science is dumb.

I thought we were done with the fleas, but it seems that they've come back. Well, not so much come back as we have all new ones, dammit. Would you like to know what I've learned about the life cycle of the flea while researching flea prevention in the past three days? And when I ask if you'd like to know, what I really mean is IMMA GONNA TELL YA RIGHT NOW.

Fleas lay eggs, like chickens but without the tasty omelet option. Those eggs turn into fleas, like, within a day, and that makes me all itchy. It also makes me angry because of all the *just in case* laundry I have to do; today makes the fifth time I've washed our bedding in the last week.

Oh yeah, and Lucy. The fleas love her. They love to eat her. They also nibble on Vic, which is a tiny bit funny (to me only, apparently), because it suggests a tiny bit that maybe Vic is sweeter than I am a tiny bit and that they don't bother me because I have evil coursing through my veins a tiny bit. In fact, the only reason I'm itchy is that I know fleas exist, and right now they exist in my vicinity. (Pssst... "evil" should be pronounced "eee-ville." Re-read this paragraph if you did not pronounce it that way in your head the first time. It totally matters.)

Science. Pfffftt. It's so unnecessary. I hate it.

Somebody answer me this: do you have any experience using diatomaceous earth? It's supposed to be a good bug killer because it explodes the bug from the inside. I like that idea because any way I can make these fleas' death more painful sounds fun. In this article, diatomaceous earth looks like tiny Corn Chex. I've always thought that Rice Chex was the deadliest of the Chex cereals, but it seems that Diatomaceous Earth Chex holds that honor. Anyway, I want to know if I should get some of this stuff. Maybe it will make me hate science less.

Thanks in advance for your help. I'm off to Petsmart to get a flea collar for that non-evil husband o' mine, but I eagerly await that good advice you always have to share.

- I posted this from my iPad using BlogPress and that's why my signature is centered and my apostrophes are straight. You totally noticed.