stuff jen says

So, who do you think you are? I think I’m Jen. I’m Jennifer Saltmarsh Manullang, to be precise, but my family and friends call me Jen. People who don’t know me sometimes call me Jenny. That’s weird. Also? I’m kind of a saint. Li’l bit.

Tell me about yourself. I was born a small black child, and am now a grown-up, or at least my kids think I am. Read this if you want the real and very long scoop. Probably the most important thing to know about me is that I prefer “curly quotes” over "straight quotes." The lengths I go to to make sure they show up in my blog this way are embarrassing.

No, I mean stuff like where you live and how old you are, etc. OK... I live in a suburb of Portland, Oregon and I’m in my mid 40’s. Is that enough?

I guess. So why do you think anyone cares what you say? I’m quite sure no one does, but it’s never shut me up before. ‘Sides, no one’s making anyone read me.

What do you love? Books. Coffee. Broadway musicals. San Francisco. Bacon. Law & Order. Naps. Butter. Crack cocaine. iDevices.

What do you hate? I frequently say stuff about my pet peeves, so it shouldn’t be hard for you to figure this out. A lot of things piss me off. One thing that really bugs me, though, is cancer. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in November 2009. It sucked, and even though the cancer is in remission now, the effects linger on. That sucks too.

You seem bitter. Did someone piss in your Cheerios? I’m not bitter. I think unicorns-and-rainbows stuff isn’t very interesting to read, so I tend not to write that way. But also, you’re being kind of a jackhole.

I don’t like some of the stuff you say. How can I e-mail you and tell you why your every opinion is wrong? You’re expecting me to give you a fake address, aren’t you? Something like eatshit@hotmail.com, right? Well, I’m not gonna. Feel free to e-mail me at this totally real address: bite-me-at-manullang-dot-com. Yes, that’s a totally real one.

What if I think you’re awesome and want to send you money? I’m sure this is a serious question and not at all to cover up for that last one. Two ways to reach me: leave a comment on a post, or e-mail me at jennifer-at-manullang-dot-com.

One more thing... No.

But I didn’t even ask a question. Don’t care. No.

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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Jan. 2: Whatever. I give up.

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