Nov. 17: I pity the fool

When you hear the name of the musical group “Wilson Phillips,” what goes through your mind?

I remember traveling with Julie Gates from Walla Walla to Portland to the Oregon coast and back, and their debut CD might have been the only thing we listened to the entire weekend. We kinda loved them. Right now, though, the memory of those three days makes me wish I still had the CD just so I could throw it out onto the freeway to watch it bounce and shatter.

Don’t get me wrong—I’d sing “Hold On” at the top of my lungs were it to come on the radio. But purposely listening to the entire album? No thanks. Much of what makes them repellent comes from the combination of riding their parents’ coattails of one-time popularity, their harmonies being perfected with recording studio gadgetry, and all that woeful staring off in the distance (or even worse, directly at the camera) in their videos. <shiver>

Every once in a while I hear their song, “You’re in Love,” overhead in restaurants and stores, and I want to stab my brain with a Q-tip. I call it “The Bullshit Song,” because it’s all about a couple breaking up and one of them saying she’s happy for the other when he falls in love with someone else. Nobody ever really feels that way, I don’t care how mature you insist you are. NOBODY. EVER. FEELS. THAT. WAY. Hear me?

Here it is, in all of its hideous glory, as proof of what bullshit it is:

Hear that? It’s all bullshit.

Much of the reason I hate “You’re in Love,” I think, is why I can’t stop listening to this other song. Had I ever heard of Cee Lo before this? No. Do I even like this kind of music? Not really. But the awesomeness of its honesty makes me love it.

Hear that? It’s what people think but don’t say. IT IS.

Want a cleaner, more kid-appropriate version? Here ya go. Or if you prefer Gwyneth Paltrow’s performance when she guest-starred on Glee, watch this one. The clean versions still work, but they don’t have that same oomph as the original. I do like the Stephen Colbert version, though, in which he gives the song a much different feel by rewriting the lyrics to say “Fox News.” Awesome.

It’s been quite a few years since I’ve been through a breakup, so if the timing of sharing these videos is questionable, I understand. The timing is insignificant. I blame this new song for bringing back memories of the angry stage of post-breakup emotions. But does my sarcasm and bitterness linger? No! Not a bit! I’m fine, just fine!