stuff jen says

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Jan. 19: Welcome to Addington Place (it’s no Melrose)

I took a screen shot of the Google Earth view of our house a bit ago to put on Facebook, and I also made a zoomed-out one because I don’t think I’ve ever taken my blog on a tour of my neighborhood. Wheeeeee! Oh, and it’s not so much a tour as it is a picture of our roofs and a few arrows that I added. Also some landmarks (stars) and notes. And don’t forget that instruction about Dina’s driveway. That’s what she gets for laughing at me for walking out of school today carrying a robot, like that’s weird or something. Whatevs, Dina.

I introduce you to Addington Place, origin of the assface-iest homeowners association EVER, and the place I’ve called home for 14+ years (click it if you can’t read, Einstein):

BTW, I’ve forgiven Cristina for turning me on to Grimm; otherwise there would be a swastika over her house instead of a cute star. A swastika or a Mr. Yuk sticker or a Twilight poster or maybe a bonsai kitten. Something evil, for sure.

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So, who do you think you are? I think I’m Jen. I’m Jennifer Saltmarsh Manullang, to be precise, but my family and friends call me Jen. People who don’t know me sometimes call me Jenny. That’s weird. Also? I’m kind of a saint. Li’l bit.

Tell me about yourself. I was born a small black child, and am now a grown-up, or at least my kids think I am. Read this if you want the real and very long scoop. Probably the most important thing to know about me is that I prefer “curly quotes” over "straight quotes." The lengths I go to to make sure they show up in my blog this way are embarrassing.

No, I mean stuff like where you live and how old you are, etc. OK... I live in a suburb of Portland, Oregon and I’m in my early 40’s. Is that enough?

I guess. So why do you think anyone cares what you say? I’m quite sure no one does, but it’s never shut me up before. ‘Sides, no one’s making anyone read me.

What do you love? Books. Coffee. Broadway musicals. San Francisco. Bacon. Law & Order. Naps. Butter. Crack cocaine. TiVo.

What do you hate? I frequently say stuff about my pet peeves, so it shouldn’t be hard for you to figure this out. A lot of things piss me off. What really bugs me lately, though, is cancer. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in November 2009. It sucked, and even though the cancer is in remission now, the effects linger on. That sucks too.

You seem bitter. Did someone piss in your Cheerios? I’m not bitter. I think unicorns-and-rainbows stuff isn’t very interesting to read, so I tend not to write that way. But also, you’re being kind of a jackhole.

What are some of your favorite web sites? When I find new sites I like I usually write them up in a post. Hulu, Etsy and The Huffington Post are consistently awesome. PostSecret is fascinating to me. I spend lots of time at Facebook and Twitter, and have tons of RSS feeds that I frequently share (check out “Jen recommends” above).

I don’t like some of the stuff you say. How can I e-mail you and tell you why your every opinion is wrong? You’re expecting me to give you a fake address, aren’t you? Something like eatshit@hotmail.com, right? Well, I’m not gonna. Feel free to e-mail me at this totally real address: bite-me-at-manullang-dot-com. Yes, that’s a totally real one.

What if I think you’re awesome and want to send you money? I’m sure this is a serious question and not at all to cover up for that last one. Two ways to reach me: leave a comment on a post, or e-mail me at jennifer-at-manullang-dot-com.

One more thing... No.

But I didn’t even ask a question. Don’t care. No.