Jan. 26: Thursday Thirteen

In an effort to return to semi-regular blogging, I’m trying on some old habits again. Here’s a Thursday Thirteen, which I haven’t done in ages.

Yesterday Jack came home with a National Geographic Kids Weird but True! 3 book—300 outrageous facts. I think they’re playing “outrageous” a little fast and loose here, as a lot of these facts are pretty dumb. A handful of the 300 are worth sharing, though. (“Handful” = 13, today only.)

1. A man once ate 49 glazed doughnuts in eight minutes. Anyone who’s sat in the car with a warm box of Krispy Kremes on their lap knows that is totally doable. Well, tempting, anyway.
2. Scorpions glow under black light. Does black light ever detect anything anyone really wants to see? I mean, you never hear about people using a black light and screaming, “Look! Next to the scorpion and semen stain and blood drops! A tower of money!”
3. Some moths drink the tears of elephants. Poor, sad elephants. I’d cry if I had moths hanging out on my face too.
4. A ripe cranberry will bounce. Gotta test this.
5. The bombardier beetle can shoot hot poison from its rear end 500 times a second. I’ve changed diapers that suggest humans are quite capable of this as well.
6. Male woodchucks are called “he-chucks;” females are called “she-chucks.” Fascinating, no? Yeah, um, NO.
7. The oldest chocolate ever found was inside a 2,600-year-old pot in Belize. And here I thought the oldest chocolate ever found came from the stash of prizes we gave out at last year’s school carnival. Hm.
8. You are more likely to be in a bad mood on Thursdays, according to a recent study. Really? What increases my likeliness to be in a bad mood is when people tell me I’m in a bad mood. Shut up.
9. Studies show that painting your room blue could make you more creative. My bedroom is blue, and so is my office, and I don’t think it’s helped my creativity one bit. Now, if this said “painting your room blue could make it messier than it’s ever been,” I would totally believe it.
10. Months that begin on Sundays always have a Friday the 13th. Pretty simple math, this one. There are three in 2012.
11. Smelling good scents, such as roses, when you sleep may give you happy dreams. I am sooo trying this. The scary TV shows I’m newly addicted to are giving me whatever the polar opposite of happy dreams are. Gah.
12. Mosquitos prefer to bite people with smelly feet. Camping = no showers = extra sweatiness = smelly feet = mosquito bites = malaria = death. That’s why I hate camping. Because camping makes you die.
13. Raw termites taste like pineapple. Can you imagine the research dares that led to this conclusion? “No, you taste the termites.” “I’m not tasting the termites!” “Fine, I’ll taste them, but that means you have to lick the bombardier beetle’s butt.”

Happy Thursday, y’all! I’m gonna go get in a bad mood now. Apparently I’m supposed to.