This pretty much covers today’s obsessions.
Happy windows-wide-open weather!
Showing posts with label nerds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nerds. Show all posts
Jun. 24: But they’re *our* little freaks
We’ve done this kid exchange many times now—since our kids are the same gender and age and get along well, we’d be stupid not to—and over the years we’ve debated who gets the worse end of the deal. Sometimes the girls are more trouble; sometimes the boys. And nowadays it’s not so much that they’re trouble as they’re completely, totally nut-job wacko .
For instance, on the way into Blockbuster, Alec suggested they walk like E.T. This is not a pretty look for a kid. Hell, it wasn’t a pretty look for E.T. And since they kept turning around to see my reaction, there was no way I could pretend they weren’t with me, so there I marched, behind two little freaks, into the video store. Once inside, the E.T. walk continued, and on top of that, they added a thorough discussion of every Wii game in the store, which made them sound like Vulcan ear-wearing mini-nerds. I stood off to the side and pretended not to know them. As we were eventually the only people in the store, I was probably unsuccessful.
On the way home, the boys noticed the fireworks stands that have popped up along Sunnyside. Their conversation made me laugh:
Jack: I like burning ants with the sparkling things.
Alec: Sparklers?
Jack: Yeah, those stick things. You put ‘em right on the ants.
Alec: It’s fun because the ants get on fire.
(Cassie, I do believe this is how a serial killer gets his start.)
When we got home, they eagerly opened their rental, only to find the guy had given us a PS3 game instead of the Wii disc. Back we went. The boys were really worked up by now, and it was constant chatter the whole way:
Alec: Hey! That’s where my grandma lives! Wait, that’s the dentist.
Jack: Mom, did you hear that? Alec thinks his dentist is his grandma.
Alec: Wait, no. My grandma lives there.
Jack: Your grandma lives in the gas station bathroom? That’s stinky.
[Cue ten solid minutes of laughter for the dumbest joke ever. At least it made them forget to do that creepy E.T. walk.]
This morning I went downstairs and found Jack and Alec playing the game again (still?). The Oreos were gone and the breakfast bars were unopened. I tried for a few somewhat-healthy snacks, I did! As I waited for my coffee to brew, I listened to their game convo:
Jack: We need to buy a ray shield protector for the base so the AT-AT can’t destroy our landing station.
Alec: Let’s get a speeder bike first! And a launcher. THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME! We need cookies.
Gah. These are a pair of 9-year-olds who are well on their way to being Cheetos-addicted, convention-attending, living-in-our-basements-when-they’re-40, stormtrooper costume-wearing virgins. Dina, in case you’re laughing your ass off at Cassie’s and my futures, you’re not exactly off the hook—Jack has accidentally called Alec “Blaine” several times. I think that must mean something.
Cassie, next time I want the girls. And let’s make it soon, before they get all weird.
Oct. 8: Post-surgery update
Although my dear friend Margaret wasn’t my surgery nurse this time, she assured me beforehand that the nurse I had was a good one. I also had a nice surprise when I got to the operating room, when I saw a former coworker (and Oliver’s first human momma!) was working. She held my hand until the anesthesia kicked in. I tell ya, if you want to feel pampered and cared for, have surgery in a hospital where you know lots of people. It makes the whole experience much nicer. That is, until you throw up all over them; then it’s just embarrassing.
(I would assume.) For the record, I threw up on NO ONE at the hospital. I waited until I got home.
The last thing I remember in the OR was skooching over to the operating table. The next thing I knew, my surgical team woke me and I was in post-op. I asked them if I could live-Twitter my surgery. Someone chuckled and said my surgery was over, and I turned to the surgeon and asked if he was going to live-Twitter my surgery. I don’t know why this Twittering idea came into my head at the very moment I came out of the anesthesia, but I cannot possibly express how embarrassed I was when I remembered it later. I’m not only one of those goofy idiots who can’t shut up under anesthesia; I also revealed to all of them that I’m a total nerd. Gah.
My short stay nurse later told me that I was in the operating room for 13 minutes—super-speedy surgery, huh? I had propofol as my anesthesia. That is some amazing stuff—it’s really quite easy to come out of it; never mind that it makes people (me) say dorky computer geek things. Once I was in my short stay room, I was given graham crackers and ice water. It was about 11 a.m. by then, so it had been more than 12 hours since I’d eaten and I was starving. I texted Victor that I needed coffee and he brought a big cup to me right away. I took one sip and knew I wasn’t going to keep those crackers down.
For the next three hours I fought off a tremendous headache and nausea. The headache was hunger-related and sinus-y (I wasn’t allowed to use my nasal spray that morning, as I usually do when I wake up all stuffy), which in turn was causing the nausea. 
Besides spending a lot more time in short stay than we’d thought I would, most everything went well. It wasn’t until I got home that I kinda fell apart. I took one bite of real food (pasta) and was suddenly very glad I’d nabbed that emesis bag as I left my hospital room. I spent the rest of the evening eating saltines and water between long, drug-addled dreams.
During the night I woke up and discovered that the numbness around my incision had worn off and I was feeling every movement in that area. Ouchie! I threw back a couple Vicodin and slept a good eight hours. I was able to keep breakfast down this morning, thanks to Zofran, and slept another several hours. I’m not getting anything accomplished today, but it sure is nice to get some long overdue rest.
In fact, I’m about ready for another nap. It’s bad that I’m enjoying this so much, isn’t it? Meh.
Aug. 2: Day 2 of 31DBBB—my weekend
Using ‘lists’ has always been a popular and effective technique among bloggers wanting to write content that gets spread from one person to the next. Just look at pages like the front page of Digg, TweetMeme and Delicious and you’ll see that many of the ‘hottest’ content on the web at any given time are written in this style.
So… I’m supposed to write a list post. I already write a LOT of list posts, so I’m using the exercise as an excuse to sum up my weekend in a list format. It’s sort of like what I do on Fridays. I don’t expect this list to get spread from one person to the next, so in that way I guess I’m not writing the ideal type of list for the exercise. Am I being a bad 31 Days to Build a Better Blog participant if I say I don’t care and I’ll do it the way I want?
(Because I really don’t care and I’m going to do it the way I want.)
- We were at Darlene and Wellington’s almost every one of the past five days for one reason or another. We celebrated Vic’s birthday on Thursday, enjoyed a visit with Chris and Sonya on Saturday, and said our goodbyes on Sunday. Sally and Presley were there most days too, and we had a ball catching up with them. Happy, happy family time. I loves it.
- However, I do not like the saying goodbye part of our visits. Sonya and her family will be back for Christmas, so it won’t be long until we see them again, but I still hate our goodbyes. The kids get so sad to be apart again; it’s a bummer to watch.
- We got some new annuals for the yard and planted them yesterday. When I say “we,” of course, I mean that I arranged the plants beautifully and then Victor dug holes to plant them. He be my yard boy. There are now even more lovely bright spots in our yard. Yay!
- Jack starts swimming lessons today. He whined about it all day yesterday, but I think I was able to reason with him and hopefully he won’t be a total poop about going. I’d really like him to pass two levels this summer, and his incentive is Theo’s pool party in a couple weeks and a Great Wolf Lodge trip later this month. Fingers crossed for us all, please.
- We did a little bit of school shopping today. Jack got skinny jeans, which he’s been begging for since I don’t know when. He tried on the smallest pair at Macy’s last year and they were too big, so he was quite happy to find that now he fits into the smallest pair of skinny jeans they make for boys. When Stephen said that it’s easiest to buy girls’ skinny jeans, Jack suddenly thought his rockstar cousin was a little less cool. (Don’t worry, Steve; I think he’s gotten over it.)
- The only thing Katie can talk about is her upcoming trip to Colorado to spend a week with Appie (Auntie Kathy). Kathy asked me to send her with a mostly empty suitcase so she’ll have room for lots of new stuff. I’ll make sure it has room for a new Coach bag for me; if there’s room for a few of Katie’s things I don’t mind sharing the space. Me:
Kathy: 
and 
- (What do you want to bet one of the 31 exercises is going to be something about NEVER USE ANIMATION ON YOUR BLOG BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL HATE YOU FOR IT?)
- After many years of trying to get an easily shared electronic calendar for the family, I finally did it! I use a Google calendar two-way sync with my Outlook calendar, I’ve given access to Victor to view and modify my Google calendar, and he made a Google calendar icon on his phone. He can make changes on that calendar and I can see them in Outlook, and vice-versa. Ta-da! Whew.
- Coming up this week: swimming lessons every day, a little bit o’ work, some PTO stuff, more school shopping, a visit from Mom and Gilly, a birthday party and a wedding. Busy-ness.
Have a great one!
May 4: Happy Star Wars Day. Yup.
I finally found an answer at Wikipedia. You know Wikipedia’s got the best answers to everything because anyone anywhere can edit Wikipedia pages and no one would ever post unverified facts to a wiki. Right?
Here’s why today, May 4, is considered Star Wars Day: “May the 4th be with you.”
Ha ha ha clever not really.
You are encouraged to celebrate today in whatever way you choose. I myself will be raiding Jack’s bedroom for his Darth Vader head and one of many light sabers (“with super-realistic sound effects!”) so I can be properly costumed to meet Ed for dinner tonight.
Live long and prosper. Oh wait—wrong stupid space movie. Whatev.
Feb. 15: The dynamic duo
Mack is Jack’s best buddy in our neighborhood. Both boys are obsessive about all things Star Wars, especially Legos. They memorize the Lego magazines, comics, and catalogs to which they subscribe. When playing outside during the summer, they can easily be found at dusk by their glowing light sabers. They occasionally alienate the other neighbor kids when they don’t play Star Wars “right,” which is aggravating and also kind of amusing. At this rate, Mack and Jack will be attending those geeks-only sci-fi conventions and living in their parents’ basements in 40 years. (Pssst, Vic… we need to build a basement.)
Mack’s mom took this photo of the boys right after Jack got his glasses. Jack looks quite a bit smaller than Mack here, but I think it’s because he’s sitting lower. We often have trouble telling our sons apart from afar; now they look alike even close-up. With our increasingly poor eyesight, they could easily pull a “Parent Trap” thing with us. Good thing we like Mack.
Jan. 27: Who’s the dork?
Yesterday was a teacher in-service day and there was no school, so today was Jack’s first day wearing his new glasses in front of his friends. He was nervous about it; he kept saying he was embarrassed because he looked weird and nerdy. Poor little guy. But what can we do? 
This, I guess: just before we went out the door this morning, I knelt down in front of him and said, “I think you look really cool. Those glasses are awesome.”
He rolled his eyes a little but looked like he believed me. And as I hugged him, I thought “Great, I’ve turned into Milhouse’s mom.” I’m not suggesting he’s Milhouse, but I am definitely Luann.
[sigh]
Jan. 25: Mr. Magoo
How old were you when you first needed glasses? Did you dread the idea, or were you excited?
I got glasses when I was in second grade. I remember being mostly indifferent about them; I didn’t love the way they looked, but I thought seeing the chalkboard and TV more clearly was pretty cool. I got contacts in tenth grade and had LASIK a couple years ago.
Vic got glasses in fourth grade. He was like me: not thrilled, but he knew he needed them. He’s worn contacts occasionally since then but his allergies make them uncomfortable a good portion of the year. He wants to get LASIK but I won’t let him because I’m almost positive his eyes go crossed when he’s not wearing his glasses.
Nowadays Harry Potter and stylish glasses for kids have certainly helped with the nerd factor of wearing glasses. Right? I know Ashleigh Banfield and Tina Fey changed it for women…
Jack’s teacher mentioned at his conference a couple months ago that he might need glasses. Good parents we are, we kept forgetting to take him in for an eye exam. Yesterday was the big day. The verdict? The poor boy has inherited his parents’ vision.
Sep. 1: Live long and prosper
Once upon a time my husband dragged me, Jim, and April to Star Trek: The Experience in Las Vegas. We could see the Las Vegas Hilton from the Strip and opted to walk to the hotel, not realizing that it was actually 118.3 miles from where we started. By the time we arrived at the Hilton four hours later, we complained about our feet hurting and being thirsty and hungry and tired and not interested in a nerd show (I say “we” but it might actually have just been “me”).
Because besides the little bonus of being able to mock other visitors, I did not have any interest in walking through the Star Trek historical timeline or eating at the Borg café or having my picture taken with Dorf or Whorf or whoever that guy is whose forehead looks like a scrotum. I was ready to go about five minutes after we got there. Vic finally agreed to leave after listening to me whine for two hours but says he could have stayed until closing. Oh, how that frightens me to this day.
It was probably the most bored I have ever been on vacation. Ever.
I am not a Star Trek fan. I never have been. Yeah, I’ve seen episodes of each series—but only that last one because Scott Bakula had a Beagle—and know the basic premise 
and main characters. But I’m not psychotic. In fact, like many normal folk I take great delight in making fun of the people that wear the Spock ears and know every detail of every episode that ever existed and attend conventions and write fan-fic and know what the “T” in James T. Kirk is for and argue over who was the better captain, Kirk or Picard. Ack, I say. Ack.
Star Trek: The Experience closed today after what they call a successful 10-year run. Vic found this article and read it aloud to me this morning, thinking it would prove that he is not as weird as he could be. I have to admit, I am a little relieved. Here’s my favorite part of the article:
[A couple] from Easton, Pennsylvania had planned to renew their wedding vows at the Experience on their 10th anniversary but came this week instead, four years early. A Federation captain told them during the ceremony on the bridge of the Enterprise that the energy between them created their love. “He had his own schtick, and it was very beautiful, and it actually made the moment even that much better,” said [husband], 39, still holding his wife’s hand outside the gift shop. “It wasn’t simply being on the bridge, it really felt very emotional.”
Khan Almighty, I could have married so much worse.
May 22: Nerd alert!
Since I was in middle school, I’ve had an interest in rocks. It started at summer camp when I registered so late the only activity left was Natural Science. We went hunting for thundereggs—camp was in central Oregon, so, y’know, duh—and glued crystals and rocks to a board with fancy labels. And yes, I actually memorized Moh’s scale of mineral hardness. (Shut up, Sonya—I know you’re laughing at me and Shanna right now.)
Today the only thing I remember about mineral hardness is that talc is the softest and diamond is the hardest. So I may be a nerd girl of epic proportions but I no longer don’t walk around reciting this oh-so-interesting data. Got it?
In the past couple years I’ve done research on gemstones and their metaphysical properties, information I use when creating jewelry. I keep this data in a Word document that is currently 86+ pages long and could probably scare a lot of people who think I’m somewhat normal. The idea that gemstones have powers puts me in the stratosphere of “kooky” in some people’s minds.
I don’t care; maybe I am kooky. But I think it’s cool. And while it’s possible that people are just being nice, they seem to 
appreciate my efforts to select stones especially for them when I make jewelry gifts. (This pic’s for you, Sonya…)
It’s common knowledge that magnets and copper are used as alternative health treatments. A lot of stones are considered helpful in treating the immune system, depression and anxiety, high blood pressure, and other common ailments. Some work better when combined with other stones. Here are a few of the more interesting tidbits from my research:
- Emerald makes the wearer clever and funny
- Who needs Gatorade? Poppy Jasper can help increase physical endurance and ward off dehydration.
- Lepidolite heals wrinkles
- Riding in a car with children for a few hours? Give everyone a Green Aventurine for their pockets. It will keep attitudes positive, encourage a happy spirit and provide some protection against the misadventures of other drivers.
- Leopardskin Jasper helps control body odor
- In ancient times, Chalcedony was used as a talisman against idiocy (I say it’s worth a try in current times too)
- Iolite is thought to protect the wearer on marine journeys
- The wearer of Garnets is kept in good health and protected while traveling. It is also considered the Gem of Friendship.
- Mookaite connect us to loved ones who have passed away
- Sardonyx makes its wearer a pleasant person
- It is said that Amethyst “prevents” drunkenness. Ancient Greeks were so convinced of this that they created wine goblets made from Amethyst so they could drink and drink and drink. Crazy ancient Greeks!
- Morganite promotes sisterhood
- Peridot is another stone of friendship
- Moonstone helps your pet to deal with stress and emotional instability
- Apparently Yellow Topaz can do it all! It cures gout, sleeplessness, lunacy, and sudden death.
- The Masai tribes of Tanzania are said to consider Tanzanite to be connected with birth and give it as a gift on the birth of the first child
- Silver can be worn as a belt buckle to improve fertility. (Must be common knowledge in Texas, hm?)
- Nephrite aids cure of bed-wetting
- White Onyx is said to soothe quarreling couples
- Opal will help blondes keep their hair color longer
- Unakite can aid in gaining weight. Uh, yeah… who wouldn’t want that?
- Pearls are thought to inhibit rough behavior, and are a good stone for children to wear (and we laughed at Lisa Simpson!)
- Smoky Quartz is good for people with radiation-related illness or those in chemotherapy
- Sapphire can kill spiders
- Sodalite blocks radiation and thus is a good stone to keep by a television or computer
- Turquoise can be helpful to those that suffer from motion sickness
One more thing and then I promise, no more science. Here’s a link to 11 extreme close-up photos of sand. Besides being quite beautiful at this magnification, it’s interesting to see what sand actually consists of in different parts of the world. Most importantly, with all the potential healing power of these rocks, I’m going to go ahead and assume that the best thing we can do for our ailing selves is to spend time on a beach.
Just call me Dr. Jen. I prefer that to Dr. Nutjob, thank you.
May 8: Plug in your dongle
I've said it before and I'm saying it again; if you don't visit Overheard in the Office at least once a day, you're missing out on unparalleled hilarity. Here's an example.
9AM Oh No, My PayPal Account Is Empty! How Will I Pay This Strapping Young IT Guy?
Tech guy: I need to update your microscope software, have you seen the dongle?
Grad student: Um... Excuse me?
Tech guy: I need to plug the dongle in to get access to your machine.
Grad student: Uh... What would... That... Look like?
Tech guy: Oh wait, never mind, I see it. Thanks!
[Tech guy leaves.]
Grad student, to undergrad nearby: What the hell was he talking about?
Undergrad: I don't know, but I feel like we were about ten seconds away from being in a very nerdy porno.
North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
via Overheard in the Office, May 8, 2008
For reals, check it out. It's okay, I'll still be here when you get back.
Apr. 7: Hey, I'm a geek like me!
It's possible that only a geek like me can find a few chuckles in an icon war. And if so, then all you non-geeks can go do whatever it is you do that makes you a non-geek and therefore better than me. (But come back--I promise to post a crappy 80's video soon!)
Feb. 6: Insularity breeds dorkiness
Linky linky! Here's a fun article from The Onion's AV Club: The knights who say "nerd": 20 pop-cultural obsessions even geekier than Monty Python.
I'm proud to say there are only two of these 20 obsessions to which I can relate. Some of them I've never even heard of--game show tape trading? Cosplay?
The Simpsons is #1 on our TiVo season passes list, and we watch the evening syndicated episodes too. However, I've never been even one bit suspect that the world the Simpsons live in is preferable to ours. In fact, I'm pretty sure if I was drawn into The Simpsons they'd make me look like Lunch Lady Doris and I don't think I could handle that. I'll stay in my own little imaginary world, thankyouverymuch.
The other obsession is Wikipedia, but I'm not sure it counts because I've never edited a Wikipedia entry. I've wanted to, but I never have. So the fact that I consult the site often doesn't really count as geeky according to this article.
Might I conclude that I'm not as big a geek as I'm often accused of being?
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