This is a reality show I will watch (the first episode, anyway). It’s so bad and wrong and weird and hard to believe these are real people. Freaks, yes, but real people. Yikes.
Sep. 6: Nonsense
What were you doing at midnight last night?
Playing a game on my phone- What’s the first thing you did when you opened your eyes today?
Pet the dog - Can you sleep in total darkness?
I prefer to - What do you wear to sleep?
Very little - Was this summer a good one? How warm was it where you live?
Okay summer. Weather-wise, pretty mild. Nice. - Name one thing you love about winter?
Layers - Tell us about an era of your life that you really miss.
College - Tell us about your favorite year when you were a student.
Probably my freshman year in college. Maybe my junior year. Both were good. - What is your favorite memory in the last year?
Not sure of my absolute favorite, but this day was hard to beat. Go ahead, click it. You know you want to. - What was your best/favorite subject at school?
English - When did you laugh today?
My kids were pretty funny this morning - What are you looking forward to tomorrow?
First day of school! - Is it easier for you to go without food or go without sleep?
Food, definitely. I can’t go without sleep. - What non-alcohol beverage do you enjoy drinking the most?
Iced tea—preferably with lemonade, in which case the answer should be “Arnold Palmer.” - Did you drink any alcohol this week? If yes, what?
Yep, two very large Midori coladas. Yum. - Did you ever get into a bar and drink before you were 21?
Are you kidding? I was scared to death to do anything so daring! Instead, I got drunk at my sister’s when I was 18 and puked all night. Ask Sherilee—she was there. I think she might have even been sober the whole time. Probably laughing pretty hard too.
- Would you ever consider being a vegetarian?
Nope. I love animals, but they taste too good to stop eating. - What do you normally smell like?
Probably a combination of dandruff shampoo and hatred. - How far away do you live from your parents?
My mom lives about 275 miles away. My dad doesn’t. Technically, he’s in a small box on top of my china cabinet. - Was your dad named after anyone?
Um, I think a friend of my aunt’s? I can’t remember. I’ve heard rumors that she chose Dad’s name. (Deanna, do you know? Mom?) - What do you think is the minimal age to get married?
Probably 25. Definitely not before 21. - Are you happy with your job?
Yes - Where do you work and what do you do there?
I work lots of places, because I’m an independent contractor. Most of my work is at a hospital in Portland. I program databases and make people happy. - Have you ever been to Mt. Rushmore?
No - How many states have you been to where all you saw was the airport?
Five, I think. Kentucky, Georgia, Texas, New Mexico, Virginia. Yeah, that sounds right. - What countries have you been to?
USA, Mexico, Canada, Belgium, England, France, Netherlands, Bahamas, a bunch of Caribbean islands. - What actor/actress do you consider hot at the moment?
I kinda love Paul Rudd - What is your favorite album by a band?
Heat & Light, by The Rouge. Duh. (Don’t tell my nephew, but I also really love Train—Save Me, San Francisco.) - What is your favorite album by an individual artist?
Right now, probably Jason Mraz—We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things - What was the last TV show that you watched?
I saw a rerun of The Office this afternoon - What was the last video you watched on YouTube?
This one, and it made me laugh very much.
Feel free to play along in a comment or your own blog.
Sep. 3: IDCEAYWTPFriday
It’s Friday, and that means you get a post called I Don’t Care Enough About You to Write in Transitioning Paragraphs Friday.
- I’m tired. I got a big PTO mailing out this week and I think every last bit of my energy went into it. I’m completely exhausted and I need a really long nap.
- Katie’s been at Kathy’s in Colorado all week. They’ve both texted and emailed photos every day, which have made me more and more jealous because I want to be there too. I’m thrilled Katie’s having fun with her auntie, though. She’s coming home tomorrow and two of the three of us are very excited to have her back.
- I went into the school on Wednesday and was surprised at how nice it felt to be back there. Of course, PTO is a big social thing for me, so it *is* a blast—until I’m printing 4,257 letters and envelopes, in which case I’d really prefer not to speak of it again. Thanks.
- We’re not going to talk about how many times I ate frozen yogurt at Divine this week. But it’s okay! It’s non-fat!
- It appears that Mt. Ellis Academy is one of the winners in the Kohl’s Cares contest I wrote about yesterday. Looks like they even made it into the top ten. Hooray! If you voted, thanks; that $$ is really going to help the school.
- We’ve watched old episodes of Hawaii Five-O a couple times this week. Spike TV is showing it to hype the new version. It’s hilarious how bad the acting is, how hideous the clothes are, and how often they shoot guns straight up into the air to get bad guys’ attention. But the theme song brings back memories of watching the show with my dad, so I enjoy every minute of the awesome bad-ness of the show.
- I think I need this ketchup dispenser:
- Remember when you could only get Mickey ears at the Disney parks? It was kind of a big show-off thing to have them, because it either meant you had been to a Disney park or someone had gotten them for you when they were there. They’re available at the online Disney store; it has all sorts of styles. The biggest deal is that you can order them personalized now—that was the one thing you couldn’t do even after they started selling the ears outside the parks. My sneaky little request would have been much easier had this feature been available years ago.
You’ve heard that story, right? When I asked a girl in the ear store to sew “Satan” on Mickey ears? It was all for my friend Ed, who hates all things Disney and had told me that was something he’d always wanted.
Going through with the request was one of my proudest and shameful moments of being a horrible, brave woman. Ed couldn’t believe I actually did it. I kind of still can’t believe it either.
Victor was afraid to stand near me after that because he was sure I would be escorted out of Disneyland at any minute. That, or be struck by lightning. Neither happened. I’ve even returned without incident. So there. - The next couple days will be all about preparing for school to start on Tuesday morning. Organizing carpools, picking out first week attire, filling out forms and setting alarm clocks… what fun! I’m looking forward to some of it. Just some.
Have a safe holiday weekend! xoxo
Sep. 2: Kohl’s Cares contest
Two of the kindest people I know are affiliated with Mt. Ellis Academy in Montana, and they’re very close to winning a Kohl’s Cares contest. Kohl’s is donating $500,000 to 20 different schools, and right now Mt. Ellis is #16. Only the top 20 schools win, and voting continues through tomorrow. There are going to be a lot of votes submitted in a final rush tomorrow—don’t let them lose!
I know a lot of you have already voted, but if you haven’t, PLEASE put in five votes for Mt. Ellis. You’re allowed to vote up to five times for each school (you get 20 votes total).
Facebook will ask to have access to your profile, etc., but all the FB apps do that, so don’t let that stop you.
Consider this your good deed for the year. Thanks so much.
Sep. 2: Sorta bad-ass
I'm more than a little bit proud of this.
Created by Oatmeal
I don’t really want to fight Justin Bieber; I just want him to not exist in my world anymore. If that means I have to fight him, I totally will. Sorry, Katie.
Sep. 2: Chemo #14 and more
I had chemo on Tuesday, and it went pretty much like all the others before it. Victor was my chemo buddy. The funnest (to use Fancy Lori’s favorite adjective) part was when we both got Battleship off iTunes and played a couple Bluetooth rounds on our phones. Fortunately, there were only two 
There was one exceptional difference at this chemo: I found out I only have two treatments left! That’s the plan, anyway.
I’ll have #15 on September 21 and then #16 on October 12. Sometime after that we’ll do another PET scan and make sure OJ is good ‘n gone. If he’s still hanging out, I suppose we’ll have a new course of action. If not, I don’t know if I’ll officially be in remission or if that pronouncement comes later. We shall see.
After I finished in the chemo room, I went across the street to the hospital for my procedure in radiology. I got a shot of steroid in my wrist that’s supposed to take away the pain I’ve had in my left hand. The whole thing was quite fascinating. They X-rayed my wrist, injected the spot with lidocaine and when I was fairly numb, injected the steroid, X-raying throughout. The radiologist said it would take three or four days for the effects to really show, so it’s not surprising that my hand is still hurting—but already the pain is somewhat better. Yay! I’ll be curious to see how long the effects last. In the meantime, I’m trying to be careful to change habits that could be causing a repetitive stress injury; we don’t know if that’s what this pain is from, but it can’t hurt to change the way I hold my phone and steering wheel, right?
Somehow I forgot that the night of chemo, I can never fall asleep. It was nearly 3 a.m. when I finally remembered and got up to take Benadryl. Duh. I woke up yesterday morning feeling quite exhausted and planned to nap later. Of course, I was going on post-chemo high energy all day and never felt like napping. I’m starting to come down from that today and by late this afternoon I think I’ll be ready for a nice, long sleep. The worst part of not sleeping well for a few days—whether I’m running on post-chemo energy or not—is that I start getting terrible muscular and joint pain. This girl needs her rest!
Well, between medical procedures and much folding of PTO-related things, I’ve been busy this week. Things will get worse before they get better though (with PTO, anyway) so I’m not complaining YET.
The best medical-like news of the week: Loveliest Lori is finally out of ICU! She’s still got a long way to go, but we’re happy about this change. So, so happy. 
Toodles.
Aug. 30: Updates on the ouchies
Except for complaining about being tired and complain-y, I haven’t blogged much about my health lately. I guess this is mostly because it’s same-old, same-old, and I was determined not to turn my blog into all-cancer-all-the-time after my diagnosis. Still, there are people who come here specifically to read about what’s happening with me health-wise, so I feel a bit obligated to give updates when I have them.
The pain isn’t unbearable every day, and it’s not even close to what it was like before I was diagnosed with “an unspecified auto-immune disorder” in 2005. Still, it’s uncomfortable. Wakes me up at night. Makes it hard to stand up after being seated for a while. Makes it really uncomfortable to sit in a car for very long. Worst of all, it makes me not want to exercise. Exercise would help the pain, but it hurts too much to exercise. That, my friends, is why I’m quite sure God is a big ol’ practical joker.
My oncologist had kinda blown off my comments about joint pain, so even though I felt she should make some suggestions, I knew I needed to see my rheumatologist if I wanted a doctor who would listen and help me manage the pain. He’s always scheduled quite a ways out, and between the day I made the appointment and today, the day of the appointment, the pain nearly disappeared for a while. I considered cancelling but I’m glad I didn’t.
What I appreciate so much about this doctor is that he asks questions about a lot of areas of my life, not just pain and how I manage the pain. He asks how I am emotionally, what kinds of stresses I have in my life, what my husband would say about me if he were there, etc. He knows that the kind of pain I have can be dramatically changed by things that seem unrelated.
He, too, wondered why Rituxan wasn’t doing a better job with my inflammation. He said Naprosyn was fine if needed (it takes the edge off the pain; I just try not to take it often) and suggested some deep water exercise. I’ve been wanting to do that anyway, so I’m hoping to start next week when the kids are back in school. He also suggested some specialty rehab. I’ll call this week to get that started. I was glad he didn’t just suggest drugs—I don’t want any more drugs.
He also encouraged me to see a shrink. He recommended one when I first saw him in 2005, right after my dad died, and my visits to that therapist became a couple years’ worth of grief counseling. I foun
The other thing Dr. Rheumy recommended was seeing a mental health nurse practitioner to get my medications figured out. I haven’t talked about depression and anxiety much on my blog—except in a joking way because, like cancer, you gotta laugh at it or it’ll gitcha—but here’s the fact: I deal with depression and anxiety. If you’re gonna go all Tom Cruise on me and tell me what I’m doing wrong, you can fully expect that I’ll flip you off five thousand times as I walk away from you forever. If you think people who take antidepressants are crazy, you are also cordially invited to go screw yourself. If you haven’t dealt with depression and/or anxiety, just do the world a favor and shut your big, fat mouth. And if you’ve been diagnosed with a killer disease and you have to… oh… say… go home to your young children and tell them Mommy might die, you are totally allowed to feel both depression AND anxiety. So says I.
(…Thinking I think I might need to talk to that mental health nurse practitioner about my pre-emptive anger issues too...)
Finally, we spent quite a bit of time trying to figure out what’s gone wrong with my left hand. He did not seem impressed that my oncologist blew it off with a “you probably slept funny.” Although the rheumatologist thinks physical therapy would be good for the long term, he suggested we start with a shot of cortisone. It’s kind of a band-aid fix, but the pain has been severe enough that we need to get rid of that part first. I was lucky enough to get an appointment for tomorrow, so as soon as I’m done with chemo I’ll get my hand poked all over again but with something that should make it hurt less.
He also asked why I didn’t get a port when I started chemo. So I screamed and tore everything off the walls and jumped up and down and cried and screamed some more and then calmly sat down and quoted that guy at the dump on the muffin tops episode of Seinfeld: “That’s what I’d like to know about it.”
Dr. Rheumy gave me five different recommendations for a new primary care physician, so I shouldn’t have to go back to Dr. Jackass again. He also very subtly suggested that I could change my oncologist if I want to, but I really don’t want to. I’m not thrilled with absolutely every move she’s made, but I do trust her with handling the cancer.
My favorite part of the whole appointment was at the end, when the doctor said, “So, we’re NOT sending reports to [Dr. Jackass] anymore then?” and I got to say HELLS YEAH. But I didn’t actually say that because he’s too nice to say the h-e-double-hockeystick word in front of. Also, Jack was with me and he would have told Vic that I said a naughty word. So I said, “No, we don’t need to.”
It was awesome.
So that’s the latest on my health stuff. I’ll have more to say tomorrow after chemo #14 and my cortisone shot.
Aug. 30: Daybook
Today…
Outside my window... the weather is cooler today than it’s been in a long time. I’m loving it. Very pleasant. We might even get rain, which will be great for the yard but exactly what my car doesn’t need—unless it’s a LOT of rain, and who wants that today? Not me.
I am thinking... that this week is going to be better than the last few. I want it to be. Desperately. It will be, right?
I am thankful for... safe travels for friends and family. Sunshine and Cindi are home from their trips, and Katie had an uneventful flight by herself to Denver on Saturday.
I’m also thankful for the new frozen yogurt place nearby—Divine. It is, well, DIVINE. The other day I got a lemon cheesecake mix, and yesterday—at their grand opening where there was very little that was GRAND because where’s our free stuff, dammit?—I had fruit punch sorbet. Best part: sittin’ by my Val. 
I am creating... the new PTO web site. It’s taking forever because I have a picture of it in my mind and it has to match that picture perfectly or I’ll cut someone. A couple very cool things so far: I found an online calendar system that embeds onto one of the pages, and I think the form for collecting directory info is a winner too. The new mailing list service I’m using (on Deanna’s recommendation, THANK YOU DEANNA YOU ARE LOVELY EVEN THOUGH IT HAS A MONKEY) is the most amazing thing EVER. It’s called Mail Chimp, and if you have a mailing list and you’re not using Mail Chimp you are a ginormous loser, my friend. Here’s how good it is: I hate chimpanzees and there’s one on every page but I still love this service. (I know, right?)
I am going... to the doctor (my super-dude rheumatologist) this morning. Gotta figure out how to manage my joint pain now that I’m not on the potent steroids. Also, my left hand is still totally wonky. Also, I want a new drug.
(I don’t really want a new drug. I was just thinking of Huey Lewis and I cracked myself up.)
(I’m an idiot.)
(I’m an idiot, but I know that I’m the only one laughing, so don’t cry for me, Argentina.)
(There I go again.)
(These parentheticals are downright Kim F’n-like!)
(If you’re her Facebook friend, you know of what I speak.)
(Not so much “speak,” though, as “write.”)
(Or, to be even more accurate, “type.”)
Still reading? NOW who’s the idiot??? 
I am hoping... to keep hearing good news about Loveliest Lori. I sure do miss that girl. Having one of your favorite people in ICU and without her Blackberry for more than a week really, really sucks. The rumbly in my tumbly when I think about her is not from hunger; it’s from nerves and I feel like I’m gonna hurl, often. I know you wanted to know that.
For reals, that’s all I want right now: good news about Loveliest Lori.
I am hearing... the silence of my text message alert way too much today… I need info, people! 
I’m also hearing the puppy tear around the house, and the other dogs letting him know how much he irritates them with his energy and youth. We, on the other hand, are loving this little guy. He’s a cuddly, sweet boy.
Around the house... it seems so quiet without Katie. I know she’s having a blast with my sister in Colorado, so I’m very excited for the adventure she’s on. We miss her, though. We miss our child who does not need to be reminded to brush her teeth or get dressed or feed the dogs or close the door behind her. Good thing Jack makes us laugh, or we’d drive him out to the country and leave him to be raised by one-toothed folk.
One of my favorite things... does not include the puppy surprise-French-kissing me after he’s given his nethers a good cleaning. Not my favorite thing at all.
A few plans for the rest of the week: Chemo tomorrow, football practices for Jack, a welcome back lunch at the school, other PTO doodies, a trip to Salem when (if) I’m allowed to see Lori, and Katie coming home Saturday evening.
Here is picture for thought I am sharing...
I love the name of this boat!
Want to blog your own Daybook? Here’s the info: The Simple Woman’s Daybook.
Aug. 27: It’s Friday
It’s Friday, and while that usually means you get a post called I Don’t Care Enough About You to Write in Transitioning Paragraphs Friday, today is going to be different. Yes, different just like last Friday, but-cept with a theme:
HAPPY THINGS.
A lot of people I care about have been facing some big, sad challenges. I am one of those people I care about. I’m tired of feeling sad and worried and afraid and unhappy. I’m not feeling better about any of the things that have made me sad, worried, afraid, and unhappy, but I need something that can make me smile. We all need those things, facing challenges or not.
First, a video that my BFF and favorite author Pamela Ribon posted to Twitter this week. It’s kinda long, but so adorable. It makes me wish I lived in France or my kids spoke French or I knew this little girl, because I would hug her and hug her and hug her every time she said “crocodile” and “giraffe.”
I suddenly have the urge to watch Amelie again. Now, there’s a feel-good movie for ya.
I want to wear this to an event someday:
My Facebook friend Dana (who’s also my cousin’s cousin, and went to the same high school as me but a little earlier, which makes us all awesome-like, even though we’ve never met face-to-face) “liked” this on FB yesterday:
I have PMS and a GPS... which means... I am a bitch and I will find you.
Confidential to my sister: if you have ruined tortilla soup for me, I promise, I am going to like you much less.
Simon’s cat has a new movie!
You can see all of the Simon’s Cat movies here.
I don’t care if it’s a staged photo-op to make Obama look all light-hearted and fun—which I’m sure many people will insist—it still makes me laugh.
My creed is that: Happiness is the only good. The place to be happy is here. The time to be happy is now. The way to be happy is to make others so. ~Robert Green Ingersoll
Puppies can usually be counted upon to bring about smiles. This little dude is insaaaaane.
Best wishes for a happy weekend.
Aug. 26: Hee haw
The rottenness of the past couple weeks continues, but as always, there are things here and there that make me smile—and sometimes, even laugh. I’m very thankful for those things, especially when they’re people. Ye know who ye be.
This is what I like to do (besides black tar heroin) — Halloween time I buy one of those fake UPS or FedEx costumes and when either guy brings me a package I open the door in a rush and go “thanks I’ll take it from here!” and slam the door. Will also get you a free pizza if you stock up on pizza company costumes. ~ Chris Illuminati
I’m off to find another distraction from the suckiness.
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