Oct. 28: Statistics 101

Today I was looking at site statistics for manullang.com, and found some odd bits of information. I know you care. I know you're curious to hear everything. And so, because I hate to disappoint my readers (all four of you), here's the scoop:

First of all, it appears I have more than four readers. In fact, so far this month there have been 2,212 unique visitors to manullang.com and more than 16,000 hits. That's just for October! How is that possible? Even my mom doesn't read everything I write.

Well, my site statistics show me why some people visit manullang.com. Google leads them here!

Top 20 Search Strings

1. kitty litter dessert - in case you haven't seen this delicious dish, you must. Go here. Lori says you don't actually have to use a new litter box, just wash the one you've got.
   
2. french sentence translator - a silly thing I put on the site when I was playing with JavaScripts. If you're curious, here it is.
   
3. vegetable bouquet - Another great recipe.
   
4. civil air patrol uniform - I used to have a picture of my nephew in his Civil Air Patrol uniform on my sister's page.
   
5. naked boy - this scares me more than just a little bit. Must be disappointing to pedophiles and child pornographers when a pic of 6-month-old Jack is all they find.
   
6. photo of dog eating at table - this is humiliating, but yes, we once took a pic of Scout enjoying Christmas dinner with the family. (And no, those people are not me. They were my step-family back then.)
   
7. manullang.com
   
8. civil air patrol bdu
   
9. Civil Air Patrol uniforms
   
10. French Sentence Translator
    
11. disneyland castle florida - what searching dummy thinks Disneyland has a castle in Florida? After we went to Disney World, I did compare the castle in Magic Kingdom to the one in Disneyland, but I certainly never put those three words together.
    
12. donkey dung sea - heh heh. One of my favorite things from our Disney Cruise in 2003 was the Donkey Dung Sea Cucumber we saw at an aquarium in St. Thomas.
    
13. scrapbooked christmas cards - no idea, except maybe text found in a few different places
    
14. ultrasound 13 weeks - this could be one of mine or my friends'.
    
15. vegetable Party Bouquet
    
16. www.manullang.com
    
17. 11 weeks pregnant ultrasounds
    
18. Airman Uniform
    
19. Civil Air Patrol BDU
    
20. daryl Manullang - the only surprise here is that it's #20 ... who wouldn't want to know about my fabulous brother-in-law, Daryl?

The other thing I found was the top ten pages at which visitors actually entered the site (beside the home page). This wasn't quite as surprising, especially after reading the search stats.

• DCLcruisingtips.htm (this link is published on the Disney Information Systems forum, so there are lots of recent hits)
  
• jensblog.htm (my "latest news" page)
  
• kitty_litter_cake.htm
  
• voss.htm
  
• cruiseintro.htm (first page of our 2003 Disney Cruise trip report)
  
• vegetablepartybouquet.htm
  
• translator.htm
  
• attire.htm (part of our pre-cruise packing documents)
  
• orlando2004.htm (WDW trip report)
  

I can also see the countries from which my faithful followers are visiting. Keep in mind that besides the first two, the others range in percentage from .01% to 1.33% ... so these foreigners really don't find me all that interesting. Where's the love?

1. US Commercial
   
2. Unresolved/Unknown
   
3. Indonesia
   
4. US Educational
   
5. Canada
   
6. Non-Profit Organization
   
7. Australia
   
8. US Government
   
9. Germany
   
10. US Military
    
11. United States
    
12. France
    
13. United Kingdom
    
14. Poland
    
15. Belgium
    
16. Brazil
    
17. Czech Republic
    
18. Netherlands
    
19. Seychelles
    
20. Argentina
    
21. Croatia (Hrvatska)
    
22. Spain
    
23. Japan
    
24. Sweden
    
25. Italy
    
26. Slovak Republic
    
27. Yugoslavia
    

What, no Whitetrashistan?

Unfortunately, that's just about all I can find out about the people that hang out at manullang.com. I don't collect IP addresses, nor do I have any other identifying code hidden on the site. And, quite frankly, these statistics are so unimpressive that I read them only a couple times a year. And then I am consumed with them for a couple days because I can't possibly imagine what someone in Seychelles could find interesting here. But then I forget and go back to writing for my regular little audience.

My four lovelies, you are so dear to me. :)

--Jen-Jen

Oct. 25: X-ray vision, the sequel

I got my eyes fried again. My LASIK enhancement was last Friday, and I could see better almost immediately. Five days later, my vision is still great, even while reading. We'll see how things end up once it has all stabilized. Before my first surgery I was -9, and ultimately ended up a -3. Obviously there was a lot less correction to be done this time. Keep your fingers crossed! Mostly, I just really don't want to go through the surgery again. It's quick and completely painless but the smell of the laser burning through one's eyeballs is --shudders-- revolting.

Never been much of a Rush Limbaugh fan. I avoid stories with his name in the headline (although I greatly enjoyed the one about him being detained at an airport for being caught with a big stash of Viagra!). But this story, in which he makes fun of Michael J. Fox's Parkinson's disease, proves he has reached the same level of JACKASS-itude as Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell.

I think Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is a great show. I've never regularly watched one of Aaron Sorkin's productions, but I'm finally seeing why they've been so popular. Other season passes on our TiVo right now: The Office, My Name is Earl, The Simpsons, The New Adventures of Old Christine, CSI, CSI: Miami. Shows I'm not yet sold on: Six Degrees (I do enjoy seeing Campbell Scott every week), 30 Rock (love Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin is hilarious in this), The Class (trying awfully hard, and not quite there).

The last movie I saw in a theater was Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. When it comes to the cinema, it's depressing to be me.

I added a few Simpsons quotes to the "Click here for chuckles" link on our home page. Check 'em out.

One of Katie's top front teeth fell out yesterday. I'm hoping the other one will start loosening soon, because right now she looks like she lost a boxing match. She is completely thrilled about it, though, and her little brother is trying not to show how jealous he is. Sorta cute.

Daryl and Sally went to a Doodlebops show. I think they took Presley too. I haven't heard how they liked it (possibly because they have not yet recovered), but Sally said she was pretty excited because she knows every word to every one of their songs. YES, I know she was kidding. She's not a nutjob. Anyway, if this doesn't get them the Mom & Dad of the Year award, I don't know what will. Hey guys, ya want the Aunt & Uncle of the Year award too? Cuz Katie and Jack would love to see the Doodlebops in concert, and we aren't ever going to take them.

We're having a Halloween party for the neighbors on Sunday. I've been putting together a playlist of Halloween music, and I just have to share it with y'all because it took me a very long time to find everything. The criteria: scary-sounding music or scary-sounding song title or dark theme or Halloween-y (costumes, candy, tricks and treats) or dark arts kind o' stuff, etc. Pretty much anything you would've been forced to throw into a bonfire if you went to an Adventist boarding academy in the 70's and early 80's (right, Lori & Kath & Martin?). Here ya go:

• Spooky (Dusty Springfield or Santana)
  
• You Can Do Magic (America)
  
• Love Song for a Vampire (Annie Lennox)
  
• Bad Moon Rising (CCR)
  
• Stayin' Alive (BeeGees)
  
• Bewitched TV show theme
  
• In the Midnight Hour (Billy Idol)
  
• Only the Good Die Young (Billy Joel)
  
• Wanted Dead or Alive (Bon Jovi)
  
• I Want Candy (Bow Wow Wow)
  
• The Devil Went Down to Georgia (Charlie Daniels Band or Johnny Cash)
  
• Freak Out (Le Chic)
  
• Ding Dong the Witch is Dead (from The Wizard of Oz)
  
• Do You Believe in Magic (Shaun Cassidy--heh heh--or The Lovin' Spoonful)
  
• She's Freaky (Pitbull)
  
• Spirit in the Sky (The Eagles or Norman Greenbaum or Nitty Gritty Dirt Band)
  
• Devil in Disguise (Elvis Presley)
  
• That Old Black Magic (Frank Sinatra)
  
• Midnight Train to Georgia (Gladys Knight & the Pips)
  
• I Will Survive (Gloria Gaynor)
  
• Crazy (Gnarls Barkley)
  
• Knockin' on Heaven's Door (Guns 'n Roses)
  
• I'm Your Boogie Man (K.C. & the Sunshine Band)
  
• Beetlejuice theme (Danny Elfman)
  
• Munsters TV show theme
  
• Supernatural (Raven)
  
• The World is a Vampire (Smashing Pumpkins)
  
• Addams Family TV/movie theme
  
• One-Eyed, One-Horned Flying Purple People Eater (Dr. Demento)
  
• I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight (Cutting Crew)
  
• Jaws movie music
  
• Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin)
  
• Dead Man's Curve (Jan & Dean)
  
• Devil with a Blue Dress (Little Richard)
  
• Little Shop of Horrors theme
  
• Die Another Day (Madonna)
  
• Men in Black (Will Smith)
  
• Thriller (Michael Jackson)
  
• Sugar Sugar (The Archies)
  
• Love Potion #9 (The Drifters)
  
• Monster Mash (Big Bopper)
  
• I Put a Spell on You (Nina Simone or Ray Charles or CCR)
  
• Magic (Olivia Newton John)
  
• Friend of the Devil (Counting Crows)
  
• Ooogie Boogie Song (Danny Elfman, from Nightmare Before Christmas)
  
• Psycho movie music
  
• Vampire Heart (HIM--funniest drummer name: Gas Lipstick)
  
• Crazy (Patsy Cline)
  
• Live & Let Die (Paul McCartney & Wings)
  
• Candy Girl (Jackson 5)
  
• Toccata & Fugue in D (Bach, used in Phantom of the Opera and every creepy movie ever made)
  
• Let's Go Crazy (Prince)
  
• Some Call it Magic (Raven)
  
• Witch Doctor (Ray Stevens)
  
• Superfreak (Rick James)
  
• Somebody's Watchin' Me (Rockwell & Michael Jackson)
  
• This Magic Moment (Roy Orbison)
  
• The Candy Man (Sammy Davis, Jr.)
  
• King Tut (Steve Martin)
  
• Strangers in the Night (Frank Sinatra)
  
• Tainted Love (Soft Cell)
  
• Magic (The Cars)
  
• The X-Files TV show theme
  
• Ghostbusters (Ray Parker, Jr.)
  
• They're Coming to Take me Away, Ha Ha (Dr. Demento)
  
• Get Your Freak On (Missy Elliott)
  
• Very Superstitious (Stevie Wonder)
  
• Weird Science (Oingo Boingo)
  
• Go Away Little Girl (Donny Osmond)
  
• Witchy Woman (The Eagles)
  
• YMCA (The Village People--best costumes EVAR!)
  
• Nightmare on My Street (DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince)
  
• Halloween (Dave Matthews Band)
  
• Jeepers Creepers (Billie Holiday)
  
• Suspicious Minds (Elvis Presley)
  

Yes, this is a very strange combination of music styles and no, some of these songs will not make it into the final playlist. And I may just set the mp3 player to play "random" because then no one can make fun of me. Right? No one will ever make fun of me...

Of course, a mention of the Smashing Pumpkins reminded me of one of my favorite Simpsons quotes. This is during Homerpalooza, or something like that, when Homer first meets them:

Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, 'Smashing Pumpkins'."
Homer Simpson: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely."

Gwen is coming for a visit! Aren't you jealous?

--Jen

Oct. 19: I'm the Diet Coke of evil

I'll bet you thought I was a villainous wench, didn't you? But according to this highly scientific quiz, I'm only 33 percent evil. Now, is that really that bad? I mean, we all have our days, right? Take the quiz yourself, and let me know what your results were. 'Specially you, Martin.

How evil are you? (The quiz starts about halfway down the page)

By the way, happy Halloween! Here's an animated image to celebrate the season, cuz I know ya loves 'em.

Happy birthday, Ron!

Oct. 14: It's all in your perspective

You might have heard me say before that the one reason I enjoy shopping at Wal-Mart is that my self-esteem is raised about a thousand points. It's not that I think I'm better than the other shoppers, but I do take a little more time preparing to walk out my front door. I usually don't leave home without taking a quick peek in the mirror, my clothes are mostly clean and not hole-y, and my children don't call me "Ma." Or as Vic says, "Oh, you think you're sooooo good, just because you're wearing shoes AND a bra!"

Yes, that's an awfully long explanation to introduce today's funny graphic.

Oh, but that's not all! I will pay one meeeelion dollars* to anyone who can find an actual doorbell like this one.

I had two dreams last night. In one, I forgot to tell my hairdresser to give me bangs. In the other one, Vic got off a weird carnival ride and his hair was so windblown and bouffant, he looked just like one of his aunts. I call my dreams "imaginative," but I think the medical diagnosis is "cuckoo."

Many lovies--

Jen

*Yeah, right. Don't you think if I had a meeeelion dollars that I'd find the dang doorbell myself??? Or maybe having all that money, maybe I could buy myself a little good taste...

Oct. 10: Gotta getta skidmark

Oh my word.

This is real, folks. It's a "brief safe," and it's the latest in security. Here's what the web site (Shomer-Tec) says (punctuation and spelling errors are theirs!): "The "Brief Safe" is an innovative diversion safe that can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you're traveling. Items can be hidden right under their noses with these specially-designed briefs which contain a fly-accessed 4" x 10" secret compartment with Velcro closure and "special markings" on the lower rear portion. Leave the "Brief Safe" in plain view in your laundry basket or washing machine at home, or in your suitcase in a hotel room - even the most hardened burgler or most curious snoop will "skid" to a screeching halt as soon as they see them. (Wouldn't you?) Made in USA. One size. Color: white (and brown). To add realistic smell, check out "Doo Drops" on Page 65."

I especially love that last sentence, so I searched for "doo drops" at Shomer-Tec and found this: "These "special ingredients" are just what you may need in some "special situations". Manufactured under contract by DSG Laboratories to fulfill the occasional unusual operational requirement of CIA and other federal agents, these products are now available for non-governmental sale. Use only with utmost discretion. Doo Drops look and smell just like real diarrhea. Many useful applications, all of which will be left to your imagination. It's just like a tube of explosive diarrhea, except silent for stealth deployments. It comes in a handy dropper-top squeeze dispenser for rapid, realistic applications. All-natural. SMELLS LIKE CRAP."

You wouldn't think a last sentence in a product description could get any better than the one for the Brief Safe, but then you read the Doo Drops description, hm? This is one of the best things I've seen in a long, long time.

--Jen

Oct. 9: got pearls?

Here's a web site that has some very pretty jewelry. And what's even better, if I tell you about it, I get a free pair of pearl earrings. Click the "buy pearls" link below to visit their site. If you put a link to it on your blog then you can get free earrings too.

Oh, by the way... you're welcome. (must read in "Nick Burns, Your Company's Computer Guy" voice)

And hey, speaking of pearls--or treasures, anyway--Debi sent some new pictures of Gwen and one of Dorothy Frances.

--Jen

Oct. 7: Yo, I know pi to a thousand places

Normally I'm not one to ask, "Have you seen the latest Weird Al video?" But I must make an exception here. The song, "White and Nerdy," is pretty funny, but it's the backup dancer that makes this worth watching. YES, it's who you think it is!

Oct. 6: Boys are icky

OK, here's the situation. Victor has just gotten home after a long day of work. He starts changing out of his scrubs, and while talking to me, actually stops for a second to smell his socks before tossing them into the hamper. This happens at least five days a week. And it's been going on for at least the almost ten years that we've been married. I don't understand it. Does he think that one day his socks won't stink? That he might just put them back in his drawer? Or maybe he simply enjoys foot odor. After all, he does love to eat natto, and we all know that stuff smells like body parts that haven't been washed in a long, long time.

If you have any ideas why that dude I married has such a beastly habit, please share.

Last night we saw the second show in this season's Broadway in Portland series, "Sweet Charity." I tell ya, there was a day I woulda been thrilled to see Molly Ringwald in a stage show, but I honestly wasn't all that impressed with her performance last night. I guess 20 years ago I was blind to her inability to act. The music was fun, and the choreography was impressive. Maybe the fact that this show came so soon after "Wicked" is what was disappointing.

There's an adorable new Presley pic on the Daryl-Sally-Presley page. Is she the cutest thing ever, or what?

Today's web site is a good'n: Here's a service that will call in sick for you. Go ahead, sleep in! Call-in-sick.

Oct. 2: I see the moon and the moon sees me

I followed a link from Ask Yahoo! today and found this. I simply don't know what to say. The Mooning of Amtrak. I do, however, know where I'm going to be on July 14, 2007.

Here's an appropriate costume for this event... or ANY event, really... I mean, when wouldn't you want to wear unders with built-in cheeks?

Ahhhh. Stuff makes me laugh.

So, in keeping with both the theme of this post, and the new season that is upon us, enjoy this image: