Apr. 29: Mary’s no Bobbi... right?

My mom has done a few things over the years that age me. Her constant threats to get a tattoo are giving me osteoporosis. I attribute quite a bit of my grey hair to her willingness to drink wine. The fact that she watches Sex & The City is making my teeth fall out. And those wrinkles on my forehead? Every single one of them can be traced back to Mom’s potty mouth-ness.

It’s not that I’m so uptight (no! that couldn’t be it...). But hearing certain words come out of the woman who washed my mouth out with soap for saying “butt” when I was 14, well, it’s an adjustment that will take me some time.

And since you were wondering, yes, this was all prompted by something. There was an old episode of Will & Grace on this afternoon that gave me some hope that where my mother is concerned, certain areas are still sacred.

Grace’s mom, Bobbi (played fabulously over-the-top by Debbie Reynolds), is on her way up and Grace is trying to steel herself for this always-outrageous woman.

After her entrance (while belting a few lines of “Everything’s Coming Up Roses”) Bobbi says, “Grace, Grace, how do you like my new suit? Look, look, look. No panty line, because... no panties!”
Grace: “Ohh... there was just no preparing for that one.”

If my mom even owns a thong, I don’t want to know. Hear that, Mom? I. Don’t. Want. To. Know.