Oct. 5: Dirty deeds

You might have heard me say this before: one of the funniest things in the world to me is that my friend April once hit a girl. If you know April, you might not even believe it because April is, like, one of the nicest, gentlest girls EVER. But in this situation (crowded club, lots of shoving, one particularly shove-y mean girl pushing April to her limit), I have finally come to believe that it really did happen.

So, imagine my delight when I recently heard a story about a peace-loving friend of mine in a similarly unbelievable situation. I absolutely cannot stop thinking about this story, and that means it’s time to blog about it.

My friend—let’s call her “Snooki”—told me about getting in a fight with another girl in high school. It was over a boy, of course, and happened while this boy couldn’t decide which of the two girls he liked better. Snooki says she ran into the girl outside a store and they did a little bit of shoving each other against cars. My favorite part of the story is when Snooki grabbed the other girl by her bangs and started pounding her in the face.

To me, this says so much. First, it says that Snooki was pretty clever; she wasn’t going to hold the girl by her shirt or ponytail—that’s for amateurs. I kinda love that it says Snooki and her friends were of the big-bangs generation (like me) and shows us girls just one more reason that hairstyle was such a bad choice. It says that Snooki is more Jersey Shore than I ever realized, and for a time, maybe a bit of a train wreck. And it says that my dear, sweet, smiley friend Snooki has a dark side. A very dark side.

I’ve had nightmares ever since I heard about this. Scary ones! I need to be comforted and held. (But not by the bangs, thanks.)

April, you’ve got some competition for “most shocking things my friends ever did.” Get busy bein’ bad-ass, mmkay?