Jul. 10: In which Jen yells a little

Vic and the kids are at Great Wolf Lodge this weekend, and I opted to stay home for a weekend to myself. I love GWL, but since I’m not a swimsuit-in-public kind o’ gal, it’s not the most practical vacation for moi. If I could justify it for a weekend of playing skee-ball, though… I’d sooo do that.

So how am I spending my two days alone? Yesterday I went for a short, brisk walk and decided I need better shoes. I went shopping and found shoes… and socks, three shirts, two tablecloths, an iPhone case and armband, and some hair dealies. Today I need to return the tablecloth that doesn’t fit the table and the socks that I think someone already bought and wore and returned because OMG they are funk-ee.

Yesterday afternoon I went over to Jenn K’s for many hours of sun, fun, friends, inappropriate outbursts, mosquito bites, and making my hair smell like a campfire. This group of girls doesn’t include ALL of my fave peeps, but I do adore every single one of them:

L-R: Sunshine, Dina, Jenn K, Jen M, Val, Teresa
(not pictured: Sunshine’s hair couscous and Jenn K’s magnificent rack)

I got home late, watched an episode of Seinfeld and went to bed. I slept in the middle. I liked that part.

This morning I enjoyed my coffee in the sun on the deck (those jackhole neighbors were quiet!), then went for a walk/jog; my new iPhone armband works very well. I’d like to be productive around the house today. Where should I start? My office could use some attention. The packaging from the new kitchen table needs to be broken down for the recycling bin. PTO doodies call, as always. The stairs need vacuuming. The week’s mail needs to be sorted. I would do laundry, but Vic sorted a bunch the other day and I can’t tell what’s clean and what isn’t because he doesn’t follow my laundry rules.

HEY! IT’S TANGENT TIME!

My laundry rules make perfect sense to me:

1. Hampers hold dirty clothes.
2. Laundry baskets hold clean clothes.
   
   Those are the most important laundry rules, and they’re the two my husband consistently forgets. I sense he has trouble distinguishing a hamper from a basket. You’d think after all those years of college…
   
3. The table in the laundry room is for clean clothes only, usually things needing to be folded. Sometimes it also acts as the cat’s bed, in which case the clothes on the table are no longer clean. That is not Victor’s fault. (See how benevolent I am?)
4. Anything on the floor in the laundry room is dirty.
5. Any piles of clothes throughout the upstairs have been sorted for washing and are therefore considered dirty.
   
   Let’s review the most important of the laundry rules, which deserves a numbered line all its own even though it paraphrases earlier rules:
   
6. Clothes out of the dryer are clean, and should go directly into a basket or on the table or on one’s body. THEY DO NOT GO BACK INTO A HAMPER.
   
   One more time:
7. CLEAN CLOTHES NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER BELONG IN A HAMPER.

Violations of these rules are why I’m not doing as much laundry today as I could otherwise, so if Vic thinks he can come home from vacation and yell at me for not getting anything done this weekend, I will punch him square in the ‘nads. And don’t tell me I should just smell the clothes to see if they’re clean or dirty. JEN DOES NOT SMELL CLOTHES TO SEE IF THEY’RE CLEAN OR DIRTY. What, you think I just made up those laundry rules for no good reason?

Alright, so I’m trying to be productive. I think today’s tasks will involve a little laundry, a little organizing in my office, some recycling, a lot of PTO paperwork, and hopefully a nap. Yes, I put “nap” on my to-do list. Something wrong with that?

Pffft.