Jul. 14: Relay for Life is almost here!

hoedownsIf you’re not on my Relay for Life team, you have my permission to ignore this post. My blog is just the easiest way to get all this info to my teammates.

Date/time: Saturday, July 16 10:00 a.m. through Sunday, July 17 10:00 a.m.
Location: Clackamas High School. Look for the bleachers and you’ll find us.

When you arrive:

  • The best place to park will be behind the school. The front parking lot is far from the field and will be occupied by the car show for most of Saturday.
  • You can get your T-shirts from me whenever you get there on Saturday. They’re white, if you’re wanting to be matchy-matchy with your other clothes. Which reminds me, please wear something in addition to the T-shirt. I don’t want us to be THAT PANTSLESS TEAM. We may be Hoes, but we’re still a civilized folk.
  • If you have a kid that isn’t an official team member, you can register them on-site and may be able to get them a shirt. I did this for Jack last year and it cost nothing; however, they will run out of shirts eventually—especially youth sizes, since they don’t order as many—so consider it pretty much first-come, first-serve.
  • Lunch will be provided by Baja Fresh and dinner is coming from Papa Murphy’s Pizza. You’ll be fed if you have a wristband, and you’ll have a wristband if you’re a registered team member. Everyone else can eat once wristbanded people have been through line. In other words, you’re not guaranteed food if you’re not registered. We’ll have food at our team camp site (more on that below), so we promise you won’t starve. I’ll have your wristbands with your T-shirts.
  • As we are the top fundraising team (thank you, Mark-Antonio Grant!), we got first pick of camp site. I chose a corner because it’s a bigger space, and we’ll need it, what with the bar and poker tables and Jell-o wrestling ring and bar and mini-nudist colony and bar and passed-out visitors at the bar at our camp site.


This is the tentative schedule for North Clackamas Relay.


  1:00p Joey McCollum
  3:00p Mean Satisfaction
  7:00p FOG

Team Activities

  9:00a to 2:00p Car Show, school front parking lot
  11:00a Line Dancing, Center Stage with Paul
  11:30 Roping Demonstration with Bill Miller, center field
  12:00p Jazzercise, hosted by Team Jazzeroos, Center Stage
  12:30p Puppet Show, Lil Dude Ranch
  1:30p Poker Lap, Center Stage
  2:00p Chili Cook Off, hosted by Yippie Ki Yay, below stands
  2:30p Car Show Awards, Center Stage
  2:45p Watermelon Eating Contest, center field
  3:00p Balloon Launcher, hosted by Team Cowbell Posse, center field
  4:30p Sumo Wrestling, hosted by Team State Farm, center field
  5:00p Miss Rodeo Queen Pageant, winner announced at 6:30, Center Stage
  7:45p Jousting Tournament, center field
  12:00a Movies at Midnight, center field
  12:00a Texas Hold ‘Em, hosted by Hittmann Entertainment
  3:00a Glow Lap
  7:30a Doughnut Relay, start Center Stage


  10:00a Saturday Opening Ceremonies
  9:30p Birthday Celebration
  10:30p Luminaria
  10:00a Sunday Closing Ceremonies, Team Awards

Other Activities

  12:00p to 6:00p Lil Dude Ranch KID ZONE- Games, Bounce House, crafts for kids
  Throughout the day Center Field - Sheet Volleyball, Giant Soccer, Badminton, Redneck Horseshoes, Glow Darts


  Team Set Up (Saturday morning) Coffee hosted by Starbucks
  Lunch 12:00p Donated by Clackamas Baja Fresh
  Dinner 5:00p Donated by Papa Murphy’s Pizza, Clackamas
  Breakfast (Sunday morning) 8:00a Donated by Kaiser Permanente
  All Day Hot dogs and Hamburgers- Hosted by Team Campfire

Hoe-Downs stuff

  • I have cowboy hats for each of you, as well as for the kids until we run out. If you already have a cowboy hat, please wear it—and please let me know if you have your own hat, so I don’t save one for you. Color choices: dark green, dark pink, dark red, and a weird mustardy color. They’re from Oriental Trading Co., so if you’re expecting quality, you’ll be disappointed.
  • Vic got lime green ribbon if you want to put one on your hat. Lime green is the awareness ribbon for lymphoma; put other colors on if you’d like. Not sure what colors you need? Check out this list. I’ll try to have some of those other colors. I got some thick lime green ribbon to put around the brim of my hat, but that’s girly and Vic opted for a simple awareness ribbon instead. You really don’t have to do anything, but the hats are booooring.
  • If you’ve got western wear, wear it! I do not recommend running laps in cowboy boots, but y’all can do whatever you want.
  • We’re supposed to decorate our site a little, and I’m making a sign that announces to the world Clackamas cancer haters that we are The Hoe-Downs. I will also have name tags for our shirts. (Is it inappropriate that they say “I’m a Hoe!”? Maybe.) Anyway, if you have any other western things, please bring them. I got a little horse—I thought it was more like a hippity hop ball than a chair, but whatever… it’ll make for a cute decoration. Lori’s bringing streamers in lime green and purple (purple is the official Relay color), and balloons. We shall be festive, oh yes.
  • As I mentioned in my last email, we’re hoping to get two or three hippity hop balls to host races as a mini-fundraiser. I’m crossing my fingers that someone will have some we can borrow, since it’s too late to order them. I cannot believe they’ve been impossible to find in stores!
  • I registered our team for the Donut Relay. I think we need four people. We’re not registered for any other events, but (except for the car show and chili cook-off) you can register on-site.
  • There are lots of holes in our walking schedule, and many people have said they’ll fill in where they’re needed. When you get there Saturday, just check the schedule (it’ll be at our camp site) and put your name in wherever you want. I have no worries we’ll get our shifts filled.
  • One walker for every shift will wear our team bib. We have some shifts where there will be more than one team member walking, so I guess those team members can fight over who gets to wear the bib. Can we sell tickets to watch those fights?
  • If you haven’t created luminaria bags yet, it’s not too late to do them Saturday. I think the deadline is around 9pm, which is just to make sure they have time to get everything to fit around the track.

Taking care of us

  • We’re putting up our gazebo Saturday morning. It’ll either offer us some shade or act as a giant umbrella.
  • Fancy Lori is bein’ all fancy and bringing a little propane camp stove for us to cook hot dogs. We can even “roast” marshmallows for s’mores. If you want to contribute to food but aren’t sure what to bring, text or email me.
  • Tina, Sunshine and I are bringing coolers and ice.
  • Lori’s bringing a big jug of drinking water. You should bring a water bottle for yourself.
  • I’m bringing a card table.
  • Everyone should bring camp chairs. Fancy Lori has a recliner one and I am TOTALLY pulling the cancer card to make it mine because none of our chairs are that fancy.
  • Organizers suggest flashlights. For the most part, the track and surroundings are lit up well, but you might toss one in your bag.
  • I got insect repellent and sunscreen, which we will totally need. <cough>
  • Umbrellas? I sure hope we don’t need them, but the forecast gets worse every time I check it. Right now it says 70° and rain. Pfffft.
  • We have 150 glow bracelets for our kids to wear after dark. If they’re clever little philanthropists, they’ll sell them to other kids.
  • Tina and Lori are bringing a few tents, and I think we’ll have room for 8-10 sleepers/hanging-out-ers. We have inflatable mattresses. You might want a pillow and sleeping bag. It’ll be way cold at night.
  • If you’re going to be there at night, bring warm clothes.
  • You’ll want a little cash to participate in on-site fundraisers. They ask for donations for just about everything.
  • Sunshine’s bringing Farkle. If you’ve got other fun games like that, bring ‘em!

That’s all I can think of right now. Text or email me if you have questions, ideas, whatever. I’m really excited!!


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