Jan. 17: Snow, snow long ago

It’s been snowing in the Portland area for a couple days. Where we are—apparently the banana belt of the city—nothing’s really sticking so there’s school today and that means every kid in the district is bummed out. The forecast keeps changing but it says more snow is on its way. This is a big deal because Portland absolutely SHUTS DOWN when there’s even an inch of snow on the ground—no one knows how to drive in it and people totally freak out. It’s funny because it’s true.

I went to school in Walla Walla for five years and THAT place gets snow. One of my favorite memories of winters there is watching the snow fall from the warmth of my dorm room. It was so lovely and calm—not anxiety-inducing, like it is here. There were a few times over those years that I got out in the middle of the night and played in the snow with friends. Such happy times, walking down the middle of College Avenue in the peaceful, dark silence of white. Beauty, that.

Not so beautiful was, when the temps dropped to single digits, having my nose hairs freeze the instant I walked outside. Every time—EVERY TIME—I was convinced I had something in my nose and would subtly but furiously paw at my face, hoping to dislodge it. How anyone ever gets used to that weirdness, I don’t know. Maybe they don’t.

This morning as I shivered in the 39° car, I wondered how I ever kept myself warm during those five very cold snowy seasons of college. I didn’t wear stocking caps (they would have ruined my hair), and I didn’t wears boots (unless they matched my clothes). How did I not freeze to death? OK, I wore gloves and thick socks, but there’s no way that was enough.

And then I remembered The Coat. There was a tiny hole-in-the-wall Eddie Bauer outlet in Spokane, and it had super-discounted prices—not like the slightly discounted prices at Eddie Bauer outlets nowadays—so we drove up frequently to shop. Kim F’n-W (she was just Kim Eff back then) and I each nabbed trenchcoats with removable goose down linings that were marked down from $200-some to just $35. We thought we were rockin’ awesome for finding these stylin’ coats. We were eager for winter to arrive! The coat’s down lining was so thick that it almost felt hot in the biting cold air—it was like walking around in a sleeping bag. With a belt. And no lower leg coverage. And hand holes. You know what? It was nothing like walking around in a sleeping bag.

Never mind.

I was warm.

Feb. 23: Many words on Wednesday

It’s weird that it’s Wednesday and I’m doing a bulleted list post. I don’t know if it’s early for this week or late from last week, but here’s the kind of stuff I usually post on Fridays.

• Today is our anniversary of 14 delightful herpes-free years of wedded bliss. Yay us! Victor and I are going out for dinner tonight, and that’s about it for celebrations. Next year, though, I’ll need someone to walk around with me all day just to hold my hand up, as it will be too heavy with new diamonds for me to hold it up myself. Yep.
• The 80’s radio station on Pandora is funny. In the past 20 minutes they’ve played Chicago, Thompson Twins, and Barry White. It’s just… funny. I don’t think I’ve ever owned anything by Chicago, but they are one of the sounds of the 80’s, for sure. I don’t hate them. I loved—looooooved!—Thompson Twins back in the day, and had (OK, have) everything they ever produced, including imports and the stuff they did that was total crap. I still love them, and when I hear “If You Were Here” from the last scene of Sixteen Candles? Swooooon! And Barry White, the King of the Panty Remover Voices™? Yowza. Again, I don’t have anything of his except a single here and there, but boy, can that guy sing. More than anything, listening to Pandora’s 80’s radio station reminds me how much shitty music came out of that decade. But it’s my music, and my decade. Yeah, I know: yikes.
• Speaking of the 80’s, my 25th high school reunion planning is now in full swing. Lisa and I are busy perfecting a fabulous event for our classmates. Here’s a suggestion if you don’t want to help plan high school reunions for the rest of your life: don’t be friends with your class historian during the key reunion years. I mean, I love Lisa and stuff, but after all the work surrounding our 20th, and now this… I might re-think our friendship when our 30th is on the horizon.
• It’s supposed to snow today. Loveliest Lori and I are most certainly displeased about this forecast, as we are both firmly in the I-Hate-Snow-And-Threats-Of-Snow-Or-Anything-Related-To-Snow camp. I’m worried that this predicted storm will keep me and Victor from going out for our anniversary dinner tonight, and that it will greatly lessen the number of people who show up for our school’s California Pizza Kitchen fundraiser tomorrow night. Remember, Portland totally shuts down with a mere inch of snow. Grrr.
• I mentioned last week that I’m compiling blog posts relating to my kicking of cancer’s ass. As I fill in the gaps with narrative, I’m feeling forced to be more honest than I really want to be. Is this how autobiographies become “inspired by” fiction? I think I’d much prefer to tell the “loosely based on” story of my life. I’m not quite so repellent in that one.
• Here’s a secret that has nothing to do with the above: I have at least 15 items of clothing hanging in my closet that I haven’t worn in ages because they need to be ironed. Ironing just seems so pointless; as soon as you put on a seat belt or pass out on Val’s couch the clothes get all wrinkled again. Pffft.
• (I know that secret was not very revealing. You can’t make me say anything I’m not ready to say. So there.)

That’s it for now. I need to go make California Pizza Kitchen posters to hang up at the school for the fundraiser that probably won’t raise very many funds. Unnecessary effort? Pick me! Pick me!

Jan. 10: Daybook

Today…

Outside my window... it’s beautiful and sunny but I know that’s just that nasty bitch Mother Nature trying to distract me from the forecast. We’re supposed to get nine inches of snow tomorrow night. While I love to look at snow, I do not like when I have to drive in it or people I love have to drive in it—nobody around here knows how to drive in snow because we so rarely have any (thank GOD). I’m also not super fond of the snow keeping my kids home from school, although that’s never as bad as I expect it to be. And this year we have toboggans, so it might actually be fun. The hill around the corner is perfect for sledding. OK, maybe the anticipation of the snow is actually worse than the snow itself. I’ll let you know.

This weekend, I… broke the PTO web site and then fixed it again. Took me almost all day Saturday. Technology is just pffft sometimes. Yesterday I worked on more PTO-related things and in the evening I went to a surprise birthday party for Jenn K. She wasn’t totally surprised, but it was still lots of fun. Plus there were super-cool people there. And there was a shower in all the bathrooms. McMenamins Edgefield is a strange place. Anyway, a blast was had by all. I’ve got some really fun friends, I do.

Jen, Sunshine, Dina, Birthday Girl Jenn K, Wendy

All of the above, plus Teresa

I am reading... that Gregory Maguire book I mentioned last week. I’m having a hard time getting into it, and still not sure I’m going to stick with it. The description sounds intriguing, but it’s moving awfully slow.

I am thankful... for many things, but especially those girls in the pics above. Yes.

One of my favorite things... is how much the little penguin in this video makes me laugh:

Goofy little bird

Plans for the rest of the week: a couple doctor appointments, a couple meetings, a couple days’ for-pay work, probably a snow day or two.

Here’s another video I want to share:

Back to it.

Want to blog your own Daybook? Here’s the info: The Simple Woman’s Daybook.

Dec. 29: Snow ♪ snow ♫♪ snow ♫ snow ♪♫ snow!

Everyone’s suddenly freaking out. Oh, blah-dee-blah-blah-blah… it’s snowing in Portland. BFD. I have a much bigger and more pressing problem.

Somehow, my discarded cherry Mike & Ike’s (very yuck) got mixed up with my Hot Tamales (oh-so-yum) and I have no idea what to do. Has this ever happened to you, and if so, how did you fix it? Wikipedia’s not being very helpful.

(I wonder if a paramedic would make a run out here from yonder Tillamook to rescue me from this dreadful situation. It’s not blood on my toothbrush, sure, but it’s bad, bad news no matter how ya look at it. By now I betcha it’s all over the police scanners in Boise, even.)

Snow? Pffft.

Jan. 27: No. Nonono! NOOO!

This was the view down our street at 10:30 this morning. Where are those above-freezing temps, trained meteorologists? You suck.

Lovely Lori, are you surviving? At least you can be stuck at work (you already went in, right?).

Jan. 3: Please Monday, don’t be late

Boy, the teachers are gonna have a big job to do come Monday. It’s been three weeks since the kids were last in school and I think Katie and Jack have forgotten how to read. For the last week they’ve been doing this:



This is actually time-lapse photography of six hours; they did not move that whole time.

I’d encourage them to get up and do something else, but it would probably be noisy and that would totally harsh my mellow.

I do not like when my mellow gets harshed.

If it snows tomorrow night I don’t care; I’ll drop the kids off at the school on Monday anyway and tell them if they just stand and wait someone will come by eventually and let them in. Maybe they can huddle with the crowd of all the other kids whose parents will do the same thing (I’m looking at you, Lori Lassen). Three weeks off school is just way too long. Work with me here, Mother Nature.

Dec. 22: Snowed in

We didn’t drive to Sunriver today. The roads around Portland are pretty much impossible to drive on, even with traction devices, and crossing over the Cascades certainly isn’t going to be any better. We’ll try again in the morning. If not, well, I don’t want to think about that right now.

Here are some photos we took of the madness. This was how the table on our deck looked yesterday morning:



And this is how it looked this morning:



It snowed even more today and we got another several inches’ accumulation. Much shoveling has been required. The snow’s too dry to pack so the kids aren’t cleaning up the yard by making snow people and having fights, etc. Basically the snow’s just getting shifted a little, but not disappearing. And there’s so much snow covering the cars, I thought my Jetta was the minivan.

We stayed indoors most of the day. We watched Christmas movies, played board games, read books and played with the dogs. It was fun. For being snowbound, things could be much worse.

Dec. 19: Bite me, Mother Nature

We got more snow and freezing temperatures overnight. Today is the fifth consecutive day of unscheduled school closures, and it’s crazy how long this has all gone on. Really, it’s rare for us to have more than one or two days of this kind of stuff in a year, and those days almost never come in the same week.

In addition to concerns about my ongoing mental health, I’m trying not to think about a couple of things: whether my mom will be able to get here on Sunday, and whether we’ll be able to get to Sunriver on Monday. Interstate 5 is looking pretty treacherous right now, with several closings between here and Medford, so Mom’s trek looks iffy at best. And while there are a few different routes we can take to central Oregon, right now all of them are very, very white. So in an effort NOT to think about Christmas possibly sucking this year, I share with you this video news release from the Oregon Zoo. At 1:07 are the tigers rolling in the snow with no apparent travel concerns, and starting right about 2:32 is baby Samudra experiencing his first snow. He’s such a cutie—just like a kid, totally ignoring the adults’ disregard for the icy white goodness.

Dec. 14: When! I said WHEN!

Alright, who do I talk to about getting this snow to disappear? I’m done.

It was fun for a few minutes. I loved hearing the kids’ reactions to it when they woke up. Getting them all bundled up to go play in it. Watching them sledding down the hill with their friends. Helping them warm up with blankets and hot chocolate. Snow here is so rare that it’s a real treat.

But now school’s cancelled for tomorrow, and the forecast calls for more snow mid-week. The way Portlanders handle snow (the city pretty much shuts down), we’ll probably have more school closings until the temps go up again.

About four inches fell in Clackamas today. It was very wet snow, as it usually is here, and it’ll undoubtedly turn to ice overnight. It’s right that the schools will be closed tomorrow. Unfortunately, it isn’t going to keep enough cars off the road. Few people around here have any clue how to drive in snow, much less ice. I don’t care who you are, no one can drive in ice. And yet every time we get snow in this city there are idiots who think they can drive down steep hills just fine and then end up on TV because they can’t.

What I enjoy least about the snow is having to drive in it. I don’t do well. But it’s other people’s driving that really, really scares the crap out of me and keeps me at home. And I have a bunch of work to do this week, at least one doctor appointment, a meeting in Salem, volunteer time at the school, Christmas shopping to finish up, and packages to ship. I’m afraid that snow just doesn’t fit in my schedule right now.

So who do I talk to about getting rid of it?