stuff jen says: Oct. 18: Drink up

There are just 67 shopping days left until Christmas. Need some fun gift ideas? Here are some beverage-related gift items I found on some of my favorite gadget and parenting web sites.

Penguin Teaboy

Tea too strong? Too weak? Problem solved. Our nattily attired tea penguin always brews the perfect cup. Set the timer for your ideal brew time (from 1 minute up to 20) and he lowers the teabag into the water. When the time is up, he lifts it out. Couldn't be simpler or more fun. 3" diameter, 8" tall. $18.98 at Signals. (Description is from Signals, and picture link goes there. Slightly different penguin tea timers are available at Amazon and Harriet Carter.)

Sherpa Coffee Sleeve

Sip in style, pamper your hand, keep beverages hot (or cool) longer, and save a tree with one of these. Sleeve rolls up for compact storage in a briefcase, bag, or glove box. Combine with a prepaid coffee shop card for a terrific gift. Made in the USA from tan and cream 100% polyester. Machine wash. Two or more save 10%. $10.98 at Signals.

Global Warming Mug

Sure to be a topical topic of conversation, this mug shows off the adverse effects of that annoying global warming. Just pour in a hot cup of coffee, and the ocean starts to spread across the continent as ice caps melt and water levels rise. A pleasant reminder to take care of the planet and knock down your carbon dioxide emission. $12.00 at Uncommon Goods.

AlcoHAWK PRO Digital Breath Alcohol Detector

Advanced semiconductor sensor quickly and accurately estimates Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) using a breath sample. Blow into the mouthpiece for 5 seconds; get a digital LED readout (0.00 to 0.40%) in 3 seconds. Upgraded foolproof design monitors abnormal sensor conditions and ensures a sufficient air sample is tested. Meets rigorous National Highway Traffic Safety Administration standards. Runs on 9V battery (included). Remember: Never drink and drive. $139.95 at Sharper Image.

Eiffel Tower Tea Set

I include this mostly because I love any excuse to have the Eiffel Tower in my house. Ain't it cute? Add a little ooh-la-la to the tea party. Includes 2-cup stoneware teapot (9¾" tall) with lid/stopper, plus two 2-oz. cups with saucers. Hand wash. Gift boxed. $24.95 at Sur la Table.

Pick Your Nose party cups

Who knows how to liven up a party? YOU do! Each of these photo- realistic paper cups comes emblazoned with a new nose. When you tip your head to take a drink - voila - you get an instant nose job, and a chuckle from the crowd. Remember, never turn your nose up at a good laugh! There are 24 12-oz. cups in each pack, evenly divided between male and female proboscises (errr, noses). $7.49 at Perpetual Kid.

Cool Shooters Ice Shot Glasses

What's cooler than a shot glass made of ice? Fill Cool Shooter with water or your favorite juice, freeze, and then pop out four fully-formed frozen shot glasses. A great way to add a little nip to your favorite sip! Pure food-grade silicone rubber. $6.95 at Perpetual Kid.

USB Mug Warmer & Hub

It's perfect and it's simple - a hotplate powered by USB keeps your coffee warm. But if Alton Brown has taught us anything is that we hate a single-use tool. That, and sometimes we like our caffeine served cold. No problem, 'cause we've got you covered! Just flip a switch, and the hot-plate turns into a peltier device, quickly cooling to 45 degrees Fahrenheit (7 degrees Celcius). Sweet! By maintaining optimum temperatures for your caffeine delivery system, you can enjoy increased work productivity and nice twitchy gaming reflexes. Connection via USB. Cable length: 2 feet. Power consumption: 5.75W. Dimensions: 5.25" x 3.25" x 1.4". $24.99 at ThinkGeek.

Wine Bottle USB drive

Here's interesting packaging for software that basically inventories your wine cellar. Open Cellar is so practical it gives you access to all the information with only a few clicks. The interface is pleasant and intuitive, wine forms are detailed and complete, with numerous reports and statistics. The web-based program offers even more features. About $40 at BeWineConnected.

This last thing has nothing to do with a beverage, but I just had to include it.
Until I saw this, the Gummi Venus de Milo was my favorite shape formed in the gummi medium. But now... oh my lord, how can I resist gummi haggis? I'm only human!

facts of jen's life

So, who do you think you are? I think I’m Jen. People who don’t know me sometimes call me Jenny. That’s weird.

Tell me about yourself. I was born a small black child, and am now a grown-up, or at least my kids think I am. I’m in my mid-40s and live in the ‘burbs of Portland, Oregon. My husband is Victor, and my kids are Katie and Jack. Read this if you want the real and very long scoop.

Tell me things people might not know about you. I am an ordained minister and can perform marriages. Why no one has asked me to do this for them yet, I do not know. ● At the request of my Disney-hating friend Ed, I got mouse ears embroidered with the name “Satan” and I didn’t even get kicked out of Disneyland. It’s quite possibly the ballsiest thing I’ve ever done. ● I “helped” write this book, published in 2012: You Take it From Here, by Pamela Ribon. My name is in the back, and I’m still geeking out about it. ● I recorded a song in a studio in 1994 and it got local radio play for a few months. At least two times I turned on the radio in the car and my song was playing at that moment—very cool. ● I nearly died from a zit in 1986. I am not making this up. ● Victor and I once appeared on The Tonight Show. Really. If you can find a VCR, I’ll show you the tape.

I read some of your posts and I think you might be an alcoholic. I drink way less than I write about drinking. If I ever STOP talking about booze, then it’ll be time for an intervention.

What do you love? Books. Coffee. Fonts. Broadway musicals. San Francisco. Bacon. Rum. Law & Order. Naps. Butter. Home. Crack cocaine. iDevices. Words. Disney vacations. You.

If you could punch anything or anyone in the face, what/who would it be? Cancer. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in November 2009. I kicked its big fat ugly ass and am in remission now. ● Comic Sans. ● People who won’t take responsibility for their problems—the “I didn’t do anything to deserve this!” attitude. Look in the mirror. That’s who to blame. ● Celebrities who are famous for no reason. Y’know, if we stop looking, they’ll go away... ● Bad grammar and spelling and the dummies who use it.

You seem bitter. Did someone piss in your Cheerios? I’m not bitter. I think unicorns-and-rainbows stuff isn’t very interesting to read, so I tend not to write that way. But also, now you’re being kind of a jackhole.

It seems like no one ever comments on your blog posts. Why is that? Most people comment on the Facebook links. I don’t know why.

What if I want to tell you something? Two ways to reach me: leave a comment on a post, or e-mail me at jenniferTAKETHISPARTOUTmanullang at gmail-dot-com.

Oct. 18: Drink up