Oct. 3: Nekkid yardwork is insane

Listen, I'm a patient, reasonable, gorgeous woman, but this just isn't working for me. In the past few days our local news has been reporting about some guy in Happy Valley that likes to do his gardening in the nude. Neighbors have complained. Is it any surprise? The guy looks like David Crosby. Nudists/naturists never look like Taye Diggs or Eva Longoria. If they did, I don't think people would complain so much. Also, nudism would be a spectator sport with cheerleaders and trading cards. And ESPN would be a lot more popular.

But my point is not that this guy's a goblin. It's actually this: if you choose to work in your yard naked, you are nothing short of an idiot. Let me count the ways:

  1. thorns
  2. weed-whackers
  3. bees
  4. rakes
  5. sunburn
  6. angry neighbors with archery skills

Now this guy's showing up all over the news talking about how he means no harm but he has the right to "thrill his soul" in the outdoors if he so chooses. I'm not arguing with whatever his reasoning is; I just think it's a dangerous sport. Sunbathe, sleep, whatever else... but garden?

Also, the guy's a goblin.

Happy Valley, a perfectly nice little burg, skanked itself up when it recently expanded its boundaries to include Clackamas Town Center. This is not helping.

1 comment:

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Thanks! –Jen


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