Aug. 4: Like unimaginative Mad Libs

Everyone knows the names of Snow White’s seven little friends (descriptions are straight from that always-reliable source, Wikipedia):

1. Bashful (the shyest of the dwarfs, and is often embarrassed by the presence of any attention directed at him)
2. Doc (the leader of the seven dwarves, Doc wears glasses and often mixes up his words)
3. Dopey (the only dwarf that does not have a beard. He is clumsy and mute, with Happy explaining that he has simply “never tried to speak.”)
4. Grumpy (Grumpy initially disapproves of Snow White’s presence in the dwarfs’ home, but later warns her of the threat posed by the Queen and rushes to her aid upon realizing that she is in danger, leading the charge himself. He is frequently seen with one eye shut.)
5. Happy (the joyous dwarf and usually portrayed laughing)
6. Sleepy (always tired and appears laconic in most situations)
7. Sneezy (his name is earned by his extraordinarily powerful sneezes, caused by hay fever, which are seen blowing objects, including his brothers, across a room)

But did you know (again, according to Wikipedia), the rejected dwarf names for Snow White? They are—and remember that this film was released in 1937, when many of these might have had different meanings than they do nowadays:

1. Awful
2. Baldy
3. Biggo-Ego
4. Biggy
5. Biggy-Wiggy
6. Blabby
7. Burpy
8. Busy
9. Chesty
10. Cranky
11. Daffy
12. Dippy
13. Dirty
14. Dizzy
15. Doleful
16. Flabby
17. Gabby
18. Gloomy
19. Goopy
20. Graceful
21. Helpful
22. Hoppy
23. Hotsy
24. Hungrey
25. Jaunty
26. Jumpy
27. Lazy
28. Neurtsy
29. Nifty
30. Puffy
31. Sappy
32. Scrappy
33. Shifty
34. Silly
35. Sleazy
36. Sneezy-Wheezy
37. Sniffy
38. Snoopy
39. Soulful
40. Strutty
41. Stuffy
42. Tearful
43. Thrifty
44. Tipsy
45. Titsy
46. Tubby
47. Weepy
48. Wistful
49. Woeful

And then there are my favorite pseudo-Disney characters, the Seven Duffs from The Simpsons:

1. Tipsy
2. Queasy
3. Surly
4. Sleazy
5. Edgy
6. Dizzy
7. Remorseful

I could potentially portray any number of irritating-as-hell sidekicks in a film, but I believe the descriptions of these characters would best fit my demeanor this evening: Cranky, Edgy, Flabby, Happy, Strutty, and Surly. Possibly Neurtsy, if I knew what that word meant.

What about you?