Feb. 18: This I believe...

1. It is wrong that rose quartz is a beautiful stone but on my skin it disappears because it is the same color, yet my skin is not beautiful. Instead it is the color of unbaked, salmonella-laden chicken. I believe this is proof that there is no God, and if it turns out there is, then why do tanning beds kill us?
   
2. It is a fact that logic eludes me.
   
3. You've heard me say it before, but it's as true today as it was when I was 5 years old: Kraft Macaroni & Cheese is the most perfect food ever created.
   
4. I don't think my husband should sing the words "moose knuckle" to the tune of "Moon River."
   
5. It should be illegal for my children not to listen to me.
   
6. It is wrong how much laundry there is.
   
7. It is a waste of time to watch non-TiVo'd TV. You'd have to be some kind of sucker, a chump, a sucker chump.
   
8. Speaking of TV, there should be more than one Thursday night a week.
   
9. It is wrong that I had to remind Jack three times last week not to touch Scout's butt hole.
   
10. We get way too much mail.
    
11. Puddles suck.
    
12. Life would be a lot more entertaining if it were a musical.
    
13. The Doodlebops make me miss the Wiggles.
    

--Jen