Apr. 25: Fashionable decisions

A few weeks ago I wondered to myself what I would wear to the royal wedding on Friday (the one to which I was invited, not the little one in London). I half-heartedly did some looking around while shopping for other things, and planned to dedicate more time to my search later. I promptly forgot about it. Quite frankly, I am very anti-fashion right now, in this overweight state of mine. It’s just not fun to get dressed these days.

Royal wedding attire crossed my mind again last week, and I thought that before I go shopping I should check that fancy gown I wore for formal night on our last cruise—is it too dressy for a wedding, as I remember it, or would it look alright even if Victor’s not in his tuxedo?

I pushed lots of clothes aside to get to the covered-in-plastic section of the closet. That’s where we keep the tuxedo and my fancy dress. It turns out I keep a lot of other things there too. Like, EIGHT dresses.

Yes, eight. I found eight dresses in the back of my closet.

Truthfully, there were more than eight, but only eight of them are in a size I currently wear. Any one of those eight dresses would be suitable for the royal wedding—in theory—although I can easily rule out two or three because I don’t like them anymore (there’s a reason some of those things were well-hidden). Along with the dresses, I found four skirts and a pair of still-tagged palazzo pants. Again, all of them are totally suitable for the wedding—in theory. But the cape? I’m not sure about the cape. Why the fark do I have a cape???

How easily, I can now see, that I’ve gotten in the habit of dressing casually. I usually wear dress pants to work (and school if I haven’t done laundry), but there have been few occasions in recent years that call for anything more formal. Wow, how sad is that? Giving up church definitely changed my wardrobe needs. Probably the only reason I’ve hung on to any of this dressy stuff is because of a (hopeful) cruise ship formal night in my future.

(Feel free to compare the long-lost and unworn clothing to the current state of my non-church-attending soul. You know you want to.)

Upon more critical examination, the four skirts are all pretty much out of style. I don’t know if palazzo pants are fashionable. Have they ever been? Why do I even have them? What was I ever planning to wear with them? I need to dust off the dresses and try them on to see which (if any) will be wearable on Friday.

It sure would be nice to have something new to wear, though… Dang. I’ve only bought casual stuff lately. I got some new bras, though. Would showing off a new bra take attention away from Princess F’n-W? Maybe that’s what she gets for not asking me to curse all the way through perform her wedding ceremony. Ha.

Wait. I think I’ve got it:

Palazzo pants *and* my new bra!

Something old and something new, just like tradition dictates (never mind that I’m not the bride). It’s perfect! Wow, writing things down really does help you sort out your thoughts!

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