Apr. 30: The F’n wedding

Last night was the much-anticipated F’n wedding: Kimberly Felkley Nelson and Eric Wick got married!

The wedding was held at Willamette Valley Vineyards, and because I wanted some of my favorite companions with me as much as possible, we rented a swagger wagon to carry us to and fro. Squeezed into the van were Chris and Val Fukai, Chris and Sunshine Buzo, Chris and Angie Devitt, and Chris and me.

Here are me and my girls in the swagger wagon’s makeout row:


We are most certainly all aglow, aren’t we? OK, I know I’m talking about Kim’s wedding—or I will be, eventually—but I just have to point out one little thing. My port totally shows in the picture—see it, right above my seatbelt? I don’t know if it shows because my skin is especially transparent and pasty in this particular photo, or because I don’t usually see this part of my body in photos, or because the seat belt was squishing my chestal region a bit, but it looks like a weird bruise/tattoo. You want a close-up, you say? Of course you do. Here it is:

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The glowy photo above was taken just before or after Mike FB-statused that something scary was happening in the back row. He did not FB-admit that he videotaped what he thought was going on.


Also, did you see his not very nice comment about me? You better read to the end to find out if I let Mike back in the swagger wagon to get home. (Hint: he kinda deserved to walk.)

As Kim F’n is very active on Facebook and a lot of people who wanted to be at the wedding weren’t invited couldn’t make it, I hoped to post photos throughout the evening…


…and this is one of several requests I got for live updates:


When we arrived at the wedding site, the wedding party was just returning from their portraits. Kim saw us and yelled “I’m getting married today!” That was one very happy girl. I also got to meet Eric for the first time, which was cool. I had already given Kim my approval (I know that was super important to her) so I didn’t really have any concerns but it was nice to finally see him in the flesh. Which is not to say Eric was naked when I met him. He wasn’t. If he was, then I gotta tell ya, he’s got some weird skin. (Also, the hunchback hardly even shows in all the pictures I’d seen of him. Nice.)

One more thing I have to say: I love that Alex boy. Kim’s oldest son is a delight. Zack, the younger one, is perfectly nice too, but I don’t know him as well and also, he sat in the back seat of my car on the way to Cindi’s once and that was a little weird because we were the only ones in the car. In other words, I think Zack might be coco for cuckoo poops I just don’t know him as well.

The wedding began. Here are Kim’s two new adorable twin girls, Ali and Ami:

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And here are Zack and Alex getting ready to walk their beautiful momma down the aisle. Does she look like she’s trying to keep it together here? She was.

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They all made it up to the front—no trips, stumbles or spills—and looked beautiful, especially with the sun gleaming through the windows. It was a beautiful day in the Willamette Valley, that’s for sure.


That’s Kim’s dad playing the part of the minister there. He might be why she didn’t ask me to perform the ceremony. And also, the cursing. It’s true; I would’ve cursed up a storm, all Tourette’s-like. Just because HOW OFTEN DOES A PERSON GET THE CHANCE TO CURSE INTO A MICROPHONE DURING A SPECIAL EVENT?

(Kim’s more than a little bit wise not to let me near that microphone EVEN THOUGH I AM AN ORDAINED MINISTER, which I think she might have forgotten.)

One of the things Dad F’n first mentioned was that Kim and Eric intentionally chose her sister Kari’s birthday for their wedding date. Kari died in 1993, but would have been 44 yesterday. He went on to say how much Kari would have loved Alex and Zack, and Eric, Anders, Ali and Ami, and I think most everyone there kinda lost it for a bit, especially those who knew Kari. It’s true—Kari liked most people, but she truly and deeply loved her family. It’s heartbreaking that she never met them. But, as Dad F’n continued, “she will, someday.” So sweet.


After Dad F’n talked more, then another guy came up and talked more.


Dad F’n took the microphone again and did their vows. They were the kind of vows where they have to repeat a lot and they mess stuff up and laugh at themselves and I thought that was very brave. I distinctly remember giving our officiating minister instructions that the only things Victor and I would say were “I do.” There was no way I’d give myself the chance to screw that part up. But Kim and Eric did just fine. They’re grown-ups. Maybe that’s why.



Then came my favorite part: the unity candle. This is usually my least favorite part of wedding ceremonies because it’s so over-done and has lost all its meaning (in my opinion). Generally the unity candle is a yawner, but this one was special because Kim and Eric and their five kids all lit the unity candle.




After the ceremony we were kicked out of the room so the staff could set up the reception tables. We mingled and looked at the cupcakes and got beverages and looked at the cupcakes some more. We also took a lot of photos.

Then we got to eat the cupcakes! There were a bazillion different flavors and every single one of them was deeeelicious. I didn’t eat every single one of them. I didn’t. I shared.

Apparently I went too long without a FB update, because Larry asked Sherilee:


Oh, and I finally remembered to check in. Someone must have stolen Kim’s phone, because she hadn’t even checked herself in to her own wedding. Maybe she had more important things to do. Whatev.


Kim and Eric walked around to greet their guests. A bunch of escaped to the balcony above the dance floor, where it was neither warmer nor quieter. Kim found us.

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Here she is gesturing to Mike, probably something about how he should go downstairs to watch the first dance. Kim and Eric took lessons so they wouldn’t make fools of themselves and she was very eager to prove it.

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Gary Tetz was there. He sat with us. He didn’t know very many people. He was bothered that I took his picture. The end.

K, here’s a weird coincidence small-world thingie. There on the left is Karen Zorn, who was Kim’s neighbor in Sandy. Karen’s husband is a firefighter and so is Val’s husband, and they worked together once upon a time. One day I saw on FB that two of my friends who didn’t know each other (YET—Kim F’n and Val) were both friends with a dude I didn’t know (Chris Zorn), so I introduced Kim and Val via email and asked what the hell was the deal with the friend in common. It’s all a happy ending from there. I finally got to meet Karen and Chris for myself at the F’n wedding and found that they are, indeed, two lovely people. I think we all have a trip to Seattle in June planned. That is some fast friend-makin’, yessirree.

Heh heh… oops. Mike Devitt was totally not in on those plans. Sorry, Mike.

(I’m not really that sorry. Cuz don’t you remember how mean he was to me back up there a few FB screenshots ago?)

Which reminds me… Mike. Mike had FB-met Loveliest Lori and on every opportunity so far (which is one, I believe) she has found a way to get out of meeting him in person. This wedding, though, was almost definitely going to put an end to the FB-only status of their friendship.


Imagine my excitement, then, to finally take this photo of them:

I love this—love it! These are two of my favoritest, most fun friends in the world. It was so nice to see them together and smiling. They even kept the snark to a dull roar. It made me happy.


I didn’t get a good photo of the bride and groom’s first dance, but I assure you that it was romantic and sweet. To respond to the FB comments above: Tina, the song was Michael Bublé, and I can’t remember exactly which one, but I bet Sunshine will. Sherrice, I have no idea what you’re talking about but as Gary said, his pedicure was fantastic.

Once the crowd had thinned a little, we made our way back downstairs and OMG, Sunshine couldn’t stop shaking’ her boo-tay. Even though Val and I said we are way too white to dance in public, Sunshine would have none of it. She got Chris F to go out there with her, and her own Chris, and the aforementioned Delightful Alex was happy to dance with her too. Mike slugged me several times for being such a bad friend not to go out on the dance floor with Sunshine, so I told him to go out there himself, AND HE DID. He and Angie joined Sunshine on the dance floor! It was, like, too much awesome for the room. Pretty sure.


One of my favorite photos from the dance floor turned out disappointingly dark, but I have to include it here anyway because it’s adorable. Here’s Loveliest Lori dancing with her youngest son, Theo. He was loving the dance floor, but he took it slow for a turn with his momma, and it was the sweetest thing ever.

A couple of random shots in closing… hover over each photo for captions:

We climbed back into the swagger wagon for the ride back to Portland. Yes, I even let Mike back in. How Angie puts up with him, I’ll never know. We were much quieter on the way back home, except for Val’s occasional screams at our driver, who was much more interested in dancing to Ke$ha than staying between the lines on the road.

We are all alive.

But mostly, we are all so very, very happy for Mr. and Mrs. Eric and Kimberly F’n Wick.

Red heartRed heartRed heart


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