June 10: Jen gets lucky

Hold me, Internet. I’m scared.

A couple days ago I posted a picture of a shirt I want to wear on my 40th birthday. My mom commented on the post (a bit scandalously, I might add), and then e-mailed to ask where she could purchase the shirt. I’m assuming she wants to buy it for me, seeing as how it clearly states on the front that it is to be worn by a 40-year-old.

And this is what scares me. My mom is encouraging—nay, helping—me to get felt up by total strangers. Even if she was suggesting that my friends grope me a little, that’s still a level of weirdness I’m not sure I can tolerate from my mother. I had no idea about her aspirations to be a pimp, and I simply do not know what to do with this information. These feelings are new and strange and most certainly not wonderful. So again, I say: hold me, Internet. I’m scared.

P.S. Don’t tell her this but, truthfully, I think the design would look better on an apron. I want to wear it at the party in July, and then all year long at our neighborhood BBQs. Because I kinda have my eye on that one neighbor dude... shhhhhhh...