This afternoon I went out on our deck with more skin exposed than normal. I was not even close to being nude so please don’t call the cops. I just had shorts and a tank top on and that, for me, is showing more skin than normal. 
(For my neighbors that are reading this, I’m sorry you had to see that. I don’t think it’ll happen again.)
I sat on one of the deck chairs for six seconds. Possibly ten minutes. I got hot very quickly. I also saw a bee. I remembered at that moment that I hate sunbathing and wondered why the hell I was even out there so I went back inside.
As I write this, approximately eight hours has passed since my outdoor adventure. An hour ago I noticed that my chest and shoulders are BRIGHT RED. I’ve never had a sunburn take so long to show itself. I am now grouchy and whiny and uncomfortable, and I think Vic is going to drug me so I’ll stop telling him how grouchy and whiny and uncomfortable I am. I’m gonna peel, and you KNOW that’ll be lovely. Six farking seconds in the sun and I’m a lobstery bitch! And I risked being stung by a bee.
Nature sucks.
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Thanks! –Jen