stuff jen says: June 21: Suck it, Deepak

Katie and Jack are gone for the weekend. Vic and I decided to work on another house project or two—this party’s coming up soon—but last night was our free night. We went to a movie. In a theater. I know, I can hardly believe it also.

It’s been a long time since we’ve seen a first-run movie in a theater, much less on its opening day. With my purse chock-full of Hot Tamales, we went to a late showing of The Love Guru, starring Mike Meyers.

If you did not appreciate the Austin Powers movies, do not see The Love Guru. You will hate it. If, however, you have a decent sense of humor and a little extra patience with excessive fart jokes, you will enjoy the movie.

There are plenty of celebrity cameos and stars from The Daily Show. Loads of winks to other movies. Silly sutras and Indian names. Gratuitous pop song performances on a sitar. A urine mop fight I will, unfortunately, not soon forget. And did I mention the excessive fart jokes? But in spite of its thin plot and general silliness, we loved The Love Guru. It was entertaining. Or maybe it’s been too long since we’ve watched a good comedy.

Oh, and I am more in love with Justin Timberlake than ever, I think. He is surprisingly funny, and he’s got to be a good actor, because how else could a person’s devotion to Céline Dion be that believable?

facts of jen's life

So, who do you think you are? I think I’m Jen. People who don’t know me sometimes call me Jenny. That’s weird.

Tell me about yourself. I was born a small black child, and am now a grown-up, or at least my kids think I am. I’m in my mid-40s and live in the ‘burbs of Portland, Oregon. My husband is Victor, and my kids are Katie and Jack. Read this if you want the real and very long scoop.

Tell me things people might not know about you. I am an ordained minister and can perform marriages. Why no one has asked me to do this for them yet, I do not know. ● At the request of my Disney-hating friend Ed, I got mouse ears embroidered with the name “Satan” and I didn’t even get kicked out of Disneyland. It’s quite possibly the ballsiest thing I’ve ever done. ● I “helped” write this book, published in 2012: You Take it From Here, by Pamela Ribon. My name is in the back, and I’m still geeking out about it. ● I recorded a song in a studio in 1994 and it got local radio play for a few months. At least two times I turned on the radio in the car and my song was playing at that moment—very cool. ● I nearly died from a zit in 1986. I am not making this up. ● Victor and I once appeared on The Tonight Show. Really. If you can find a VCR, I’ll show you the tape.

I read some of your posts and I think you might be an alcoholic. I drink way less than I write about drinking. If I ever STOP talking about booze, then it’ll be time for an intervention.

What do you love? Books. Coffee. Fonts. Broadway musicals. San Francisco. Bacon. Rum. Law & Order. Naps. Butter. Home. Crack cocaine. iDevices. Words. Disney vacations. You.

If you could punch anything or anyone in the face, what/who would it be? Cancer. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in November 2009. I kicked its big fat ugly ass and am in remission now. ● Comic Sans. ● People who won’t take responsibility for their problems—the “I didn’t do anything to deserve this!” attitude. Look in the mirror. That’s who to blame. ● Celebrities who are famous for no reason. Y’know, if we stop looking, they’ll go away... ● Bad grammar and spelling and the dummies who use it.

You seem bitter. Did someone piss in your Cheerios? I’m not bitter. I think unicorns-and-rainbows stuff isn’t very interesting to read, so I tend not to write that way. But also, now you’re being kind of a jackhole.

It seems like no one ever comments on your blog posts. Why is that? Most people comment on the Facebook links. I don’t know why.

What if I want to tell you something? Two ways to reach me: leave a comment on a post, or e-mail me at jenniferTAKETHISPARTOUTmanullang at gmail-dot-com.

3 comments:

AnonymousJune 23, 2008 at 10:52:00 AM PDT
I'm conficted about this post. On the one hand I'm so happy we share a love of Hot Tamales (my favorite which are not available at Regal). On the other hand, I am confused as to why you would choose this movie for the golden "child-free" time we all wish we had more of. Please don't tell me you have Adam Sandler's new movie on your list too. It might be too much to handle! :)
JenJune 23, 2008 at 11:08:00 AM PDT
The only Adam Sandler movie I can handle is "The Wedding Singer," in which he acts very non-Sandlery. So, NO, I have no plans to see Zohan. But I LOVED the Austin Powers movies, ridiculous as they were. And since we can't watch stuff like that with the kids around, it was perfect for the golden "child-free" time on Friday night. If that's too much to handle, just think HOT TAMALES, HOT TAMALES, HOT TAMALES, Jen likes HOT TAMALES so she's not all bad!
AnonymousJune 23, 2008 at 2:49:00 PM PDT
And she can probably spell "CONFLICTED" which obviously I can't (see first post)! :)

xoxo

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Thanks! –Jen

June 21: Suck it, Deepak

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