In no way do I claim to be a fashion goddess, nor do I think anyone will ever mistake me for a credible fashion critic. But there's one thing I simply cannot abide: shoes that don't fit.
So you're a celebrity. You're wearing a $40K gown, whether you paid for it or not, and you've hired a gaggle of artists to make you look perfect. And just before you head to your awards show or movie premiere or charity auction, you slip on your shoes. Shoes that cost nearly as much as your gown. Shoes that you hope to GOD you don't have to walk in for very long because they're already killing your back. The fact that your 
toes hang over the ends gets by all of your beautifiers, and you proceed to your event where your picture will be taken by hundreds of cameras, all documenting your perfectly manicured toes hanging over the ends of your gorgeous shoes.
What are you, some kind of idiot?
Here's what I'm saying. If you're wearing shoes like this and your feet don't look like this in them:
CHANGE. YOUR. SHOES.
You're scaring the children. And me.
One more thing. Trim your toenails. You look like a velociraptor.
—Jen (yes, I'm a beeyotch today)
Oh GAWD, trim the trout hooks!! Keep the trout hooks short, clean and don't let anyone SEE you keeping them short and clean. Just do it. And wear shoes that fit. And don't be gross. And I just threw up in my mouth a little. Thanks, Jen. You're doing a terrific PSA on trout hooks. Keep up the good work, Mother T.
ReplyDeleteOh GAWD, trim the trout hooks!! Keep the trout hooks short, clean and don't let anyone SEE you keeping them short and clean. Just do it. And wear shoes that fit. And don't be gross. And I just threw up in my mouth a little. Thanks, Jen. You're doing a terrific PSA on trout hooks. Keep up the good work, Mother T.
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