stuff jen says: Aug. 28: Gigglin' at the GOP

I love when news stories reveal that a jackass staunch Republican has been caught in an embarrassing homosexual situation and there is absolutely no way they can explain it away. Somehow when these scandals involve Democrats, it's no big deal (though I don't know of many), maybe because everyone expects hypocrisy from liberals??? Here's today's scandal, which involves an Idaho senator. I could not possible enjoy this any more.

Others, just to prove my point (links are to Wikipedia pages, only because I'm too lazy to look for more reliable sources):

Mark Foley
Ted Haggard
Ed Schrock
Jim West, Spokane mayor
Glenn Murphy
Bob Allen

I apologize if I've failed to mention a few of the other self-important "victims" of political and/or religious scandal. Ya think if these guys would just stop condemning others, maybe they wouldn't hate themselves so much?

My stomach muscles are begging me to PLEASE stop laughing at these jackasses. I'm evil, through and through. At least I don't mind admitting it. I'm also a registered Democrat and a mostly-liberal, and I don't mind admitting that either. Because remember, I'm an ordained reverend, and religious figures always tell the truth and are upright, honorable citizens. RESPECT ME, DAMMIT, WHETHER I DESERVE IT OR NOT!

—Jen

facts of jen's life

So, who do you think you are? I think I’m Jen. People who don’t know me sometimes call me Jenny. That’s weird.

Tell me about yourself. I was born a small black child, and am now a grown-up, or at least my kids think I am. I’m in my mid-40s and live in the ‘burbs of Portland, Oregon. My husband is Victor, and my kids are Katie and Jack. Read this if you want the real and very long scoop.

Tell me things people might not know about you. I am an ordained minister and can perform marriages. Why no one has asked me to do this for them yet, I do not know. ● At the request of my Disney-hating friend Ed, I got mouse ears embroidered with the name “Satan” and I didn’t even get kicked out of Disneyland. It’s quite possibly the ballsiest thing I’ve ever done. ● I “helped” write this book, published in 2012: You Take it From Here, by Pamela Ribon. My name is in the back, and I’m still geeking out about it. ● I recorded a song in a studio in 1994 and it got local radio play for a few months. At least two times I turned on the radio in the car and my song was playing at that moment—very cool. ● I nearly died from a zit in 1986. I am not making this up. ● Victor and I once appeared on The Tonight Show. Really. If you can find a VCR, I’ll show you the tape.

I read some of your posts and I think you might be an alcoholic. I drink way less than I write about drinking. If I ever STOP talking about booze, then it’ll be time for an intervention.

What do you love? Books. Coffee. Fonts. Broadway musicals. San Francisco. Bacon. Rum. Law & Order. Naps. Butter. Home. Crack cocaine. iDevices. Words. Disney vacations. You.

If you could punch anything or anyone in the face, what/who would it be? Cancer. I was diagnosed with lymphoma in November 2009. I kicked its big fat ugly ass and am in remission now. ● Comic Sans. ● People who won’t take responsibility for their problems—the “I didn’t do anything to deserve this!” attitude. Look in the mirror. That’s who to blame. ● Celebrities who are famous for no reason. Y’know, if we stop looking, they’ll go away... ● Bad grammar and spelling and the dummies who use it.

You seem bitter. Did someone piss in your Cheerios? I’m not bitter. I think unicorns-and-rainbows stuff isn’t very interesting to read, so I tend not to write that way. But also, now you’re being kind of a jackhole.

It seems like no one ever comments on your blog posts. Why is that? Most people comment on the Facebook links. I don’t know why.

What if I want to tell you something? Two ways to reach me: leave a comment on a post, or e-mail me at jenniferTAKETHISPARTOUTmanullang at gmail-dot-com.

1 comment:

AnonymousAugust 29, 2007 at 1:25:00 PM PDT
The funniest part of this story for me (so far) is that Craig was a member of the "Singing Senators" quartet which also included John Ashcroft, Trent Lott and Jim Jeffords. Now if that's not a group of fun - I don't know what is! :)

Hey, please don’t leave an anonymous comment.
Select “Name/URL” below and you can use whatever name you want. No registration required.
Thanks! –Jen

Aug. 28: Gigglin' at the GOP

1 comment:

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