And because a mention of the Little Mermaid always reminds me of this, one of my all-time favorite of Letterman's top ten lists, here ya go:
Top Ten Ways Disneyland Can Attract More Visitors
- Dads get an hour alone with the Little Mermaid
- Goodbye costumed animals, hello Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling
- Paint target on Goofy; give visitors choice between BB gun or slingshot
- They really should think about doing some advertising
- For no extra charge, Mike Tyson will bite off one of your mouse ears
- At "Hall of Presidents," the Woodrow Wilson robot performs a slow, seductive striptease
- Open up a Disneyland on every corner like Starbucks
- New attraction: "Mr. Gifford's Wild Ride"
- One-millionth customer gets to beat the daylights out of Mickey
- Thaw out Walt and ask him what the hell to do!
And another Disney-themed list:
Top Ten Signs Disney Is Taking Over New York City
- $20 will buy you a lap dance from Goofy
- The Statue of Liberty now has a rodent-like tail
- Guys handing out flyers for "The Country Bears' Pantsless Jamboree"
- Mayor Giuliani's new audioanimatronic combover
- 50% increase in number of drag queens going by name "Tinkerbell"
- Cab drivers now have mouse ears glued to their turbans
- Mafia figures adopting nicknames like "Bashful" and "Sleepy"
- Hookers now whistling while they work
- Frank Gifford recently caught nailing the Little Mermaid
- Midtown crack house now called "Space-Out Mountain"
And now I return you to my regular non-top-ten-list-containing posts.