Jan. 30: The actual "Gay Agenda"

If this doesn't scare you, I don't know what will.

I know that many of you have heard Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and others speak of the "Homosexual Agenda," but no one has ever seen a copy of it. Well, I have finally obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual. It follows below:

6am: Gym

8am: Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)

9am: Hair appointment

10am: Shopping

12 noon: Brunch

2pm:

1. Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments
   
2. Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle
   
3. Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages
   
4. Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels
   
5. Establish planetary chain of "homo breeding gulags" where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership
   
6. Bulldoze all houses of worship
   
7. Secure total control of the Internet and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers

2:15pm: Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest

4pm: Cocktails

6pm: Light Dinner (soup, salad, Chardonnay)

8pm: Theater

11pm: Bed (du jour)?

(Source: all over the www)