Aug. 30: My blood type is coffee

Last night during our semi-regular AA meeting in the Castañedas’ driveway, Rob told us about his disgusting coffee habit. That is not to say coffee is disgusting. Coffee is liquid manna. But the way Rob drinks it is just vile: he brews a pot, drinks some, and then finishes the rest over the next few days. He re-heats it and adds a bunch of stuff each day.

Cristina suggested that he probably drank icky coffee in the military. Rob didn’t respond because he was too busy defending himself.
This is not at all what Rob looks like

This morning as I sipped my fresh cup of energy, I thought about it again. What exactly is so disgusting about day-old coffee? I couldn’t figure it out on my own, so I consulted the omnipotent Google for some answers. Well, maybe not answers so much as opinions. Here’s what I found:

  • Old coffee turns bitter (has something to do with the tannins it releases as it sits)
  • If left out (unrefrigerated) coffee absorbs odors
  • Old coffee goes stale. It won’t hurt you, but it will not taste good.

I was a little disappointed in these Google results. I thought for sure I’d find evidence that day-old coffee causes hangnails or genital warts. Stupid Google.

Whether old coffee should be tossed or not is debatable, but the general consensus is that old coffee is yucky, ‘specially if it’s got floaters.

My mom, who considers coffee a vehicle for French vanilla creamer, also does not care too much about how old her coffee is or how much water she has to add to it to dilute the coffee flavor. My mom is clearly cuckoo-for-cocoa-puffs.

And lest ye conclude that I am a coffee snob, I offer this story:

Victor and I used to buy fresh coffee beans and grind them each morning. They were a good brand (expensive) and we considered ourselves coffee snobs—not connoisseurs, just choosy. Eventually we started buying the beans already ground because it saved time in the mornings. And then we started buying store brand coffee—still (supposedly) better quality than Folgers, but cheaper than Seattle’s Best or Starbucks. We started feeling less snobbish. One day we decided to just try Folgers, and surprise, surprise: it tasted just fine, dammit. This was very distressing to both of us, because we had to consider ourselves the opposite of coffee snobs at that point. Now we drink pretty much anything, but I draw the line at old coffee. Sorry, Rob, but that’s just... it’s just bleah. I don’t know why. It just is.

8 comments:

  1. I guess my theme this week is remembering weird things about my family especially my Mom. She would buy those ginormous 5 pound cans of MJB, empty about 8 heaping spoonfuls into the original Mr. Coffee coffee machine. Yes we did have one. Hit the go button and in 10 minutes a acceptable pot of coffee. Since she basically lived by herself, she'd only drink about half the pot leaving the dregs for the next day. Here's where the fun starts. Do you know what microwaving a cup of joe does to it's flavor, smell, shape etc? Try this at home. Take a cup of day old coffee and zap it for 1:30 to heat it real good. Pour a bit of milk in it and tell me what color you get?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jen, I'm impressed by your honesty in admitting to the Folgers... not sure I can go there, myself. It brings back all kinds of "office coffee" memories, where who knows who made that last pot down in the break room, but it tastes awful.

    I will admit to the store brand, and I do defile with creamers, sweeteners, etc., so I don't get to be too sanctimonious about flavor. I think the Folgers giant can aversion is mostly in my head...

    I have been able to kick the habit many times over the years, and then always somehow find my way back... I am happily a one-cup-in-the-morning girl now, it's all very ritualized and part of the get-going routine, me and my little french press.

    But the whole rewarm thing? Ugh, no thanks. The precious few times I've microwaved a cold cup, it's been pretty undrinkable...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ok, time for the defense....
    Number one, I'm a sugar fiend when it comes to coffee. Just like cold cereal thats good for you, add enough sugar and you can't taste it.
    Number two, add flavored creamer and it's fine.
    I like my coffee strong, no weak 3 scoop pots, more like 6-8 scoops. When you make it that harsh, it's bound to get better each day.
    LOL, you got me Jen

    ReplyDelete
  4. After reading Jen's blog AND the comments, I'll just have to say that none of you lived through the depression--there were no snobs then (well, that's what I'm told....). But the next generation is still effected by that mentality--we're not coffee snobs (but one step beyond "just happy to be able to afford a cup"). However, we may be flavored-creamer snobs. You can hide all kinds of rotten coffee behind Irish Creme or French Vanilla (my "snob" only partakes of the foreign flavors.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ok, I've been caught. I never knew how gross it was and I thank you for pointing it out. I decided after reading your post to no longer re-heat. I went out and bought a small coffee pot and I've enjoyed one morning in a row of hot, fresh coffee! Thank you, Jen, you do-gooder. That's my sis . . . changing the world. One (pseudo) coffee snob at a time!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ok, I've been caught. I never knew how gross it was and I thank you for pointing it out. I decided after reading your post to no longer re-heat. I went out and bought a small coffee pot and I've enjoyed one morning in a row of hot, fresh coffee! Thank you, Jen, you do-gooder. That's my sis . . . changing the world. One (pseudo) coffee snob at a time!

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Mom Jen may want to disownJune 27, 2011 at 11:35:00 AM PDT

    After reading Jen's blog AND the comments, I'll just have to say that none of you lived through the depression--there were no snobs then (well, that's what I'm told....). But the next generation is still effected by that mentality--we're not coffee snobs (but one step beyond "just happy to be able to afford a cup"). However, we may be flavored-creamer snobs. You can hide all kinds of rotten coffee behind Irish Creme or French Vanilla (my "snob" only partakes of the foreign flavors.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jen, I'm impressed by your honesty in admitting to the Folgers... not sure I can go there, myself. It brings back all kinds of "office coffee" memories, where who knows who made that last pot down in the break room, but it tastes awful.

    I will admit to the store brand, and I do defile with creamers, sweeteners, etc., so I don't get to be too sanctimonious about flavor. I think the Folgers giant can aversion is mostly in my head...

    I have been able to kick the habit many times over the years, and then always somehow find my way back... I am happily a one-cup-in-the-morning girl now, it's all very ritualized and part of the get-going routine, me and my little french press.

    But the whole rewarm thing? Ugh, no thanks. The precious few times I've microwaved a cold cup, it's been pretty undrinkable...

    ReplyDelete

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