Aug. 29: Pull up them britches

If you look like this, I have some questions (and this time, none of them related to you being the wonder wanker that is K-Fed).

Are you on drugs? Do you have a mirror? Do you use it? Aren't you tired by the end of the day from trying to walk with your waistband tucked under your butt? I mean, that's got to be awkward. And doesn't it hurt your junk to hold up the weight of your pants? (Of course, if the gonad stress could render you sterile, maybe the saggy pants look is perfect for you...)

When I see you, it takes every bit of my strength to keep from grabbing your belt loops and yanking your pants up to your waist where they belong. And if you have a minute, I'd like to show you pictures of my grandpa, who regularly wore suspenders because he knew no one was interested in seeing his underpants. He was a smart guy.

Guess what? No one's interested in seeing your underpants either. Surprised?

Yes, I know this makes me sound old and out of it. But in this particular case, I'm okay with that.

Good news! Now, finally, it seems I'm not the only one who thinks you look like a complete boob. In Atlanta--where the Confederate flag is still proudly flown, mind you--they're trying to outlaw your "fashion." I guess they have some sense there after all. Other cities are following Atlanta's lead with their own ordinances.

Ya gotta love this country sometimes.

Ya just gotta.


—Jen

3 comments:

  1. Gotta luv a country that "bosses" people around.

    wearing ur pants down low harms no one

    and laws should not be made to tell someone to pull their pants up

    ReplyDelete
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  3. Gotta luv a country that "bosses" people around.

    wearing ur pants down low harms no one

    and laws should not be made to tell someone to pull their pants up

    ReplyDelete

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Thanks! –Jen

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