Aug. 12: At world’s end (or Oregon’s, anyway)

The four of us went to the beach yesterday, finally, and it was wonderful. Oregon beaches are beautiful but almost never warm, but yesterday there was sun and blue sky as far as the eye could see! I know! I could not believe it also! We felt fortunate to enjoy that very rare Oregon coast day. The kids had a great time and didn’t drive us totally crazy, which made me and Vic smiley all day long. ‘Twas good. ‘Twas very good.

We took tons of pictures, which I’ll share later, but here’s one of my favorites:

Vic snapped this pic with his phone, and the zoom on the iPhone camera is shee-AT, so it got that weird blurriness—but it almost looks like a watercolor effect has been applied, and I think that’s kinda cool. Also, Jack looks like he’s doing the peepee dance and that makes me laugh.

I needed yesterday oh-so-badly. It wasn’t just leaving town that was so great; to sit there at the end of the earth and watch the waves, especially in the sunshine, felt so warm—inside and out—and happy, relaxing, revitalizing, and even freeing. I can’t believe it had been such a long time since I’d been to the coast. Crazy—it’s only two hours from home! Vic and I are hoping to go back by ourselves for an overnight trip later this month (Mother Mary’s birthday gift to us both). And we really want to try to go more often, like we used to, before our mellows were harshed by those meddlin’ kids.

The sand totally farked up my pedicure. I guess that was the bad thing about the day. Worth it, though. Completely worth it.

Jul. 4: Currently

Happy 4th of July!

I’ve been doing a Daybook post semi-regularly for a while now, but half the time I can’t think of anything to write and I delete sections and then forget to add them back in the next week and basically, I’ve totally farked up the Daybook as it was meant to be. Today, I’m giving this variation a try. I found it on Pinterest (of course).

Currently…

1. listening

I’m listening to the dogs snoring. I keep humming, which is driving me crazy—I swear, it’s involuntary. Birds are making noise outside. OK, I can’t take the humming anymore; Pandora it is. No noise from the kids this morning, since they’re at G&G’s. Their cousin is there for a week or so, and I’ve seen very little of Katie since Julianne arrived. Katie is the biggest Julianne fan EVER, obvy. Heck, even Jack likes Julianne. I know, I can’t believe it either.

2. eating

I’m not eating anything right at the moment. When it’s time—and I know you care—I’ll be eating cereal. Mmmmm. You are jealous.

Yesterday, however, we had a delicious lunch over at Vic’s parents’ house. Burgers, ribs, homemade potato salad, beans, corn on the cob, pink lemonade… it was perfect. If Vic wasn’t working today we all would’ve gathered for lunch today instead, like normal Americans.

3. drinking

I just finished drinking a huge mug of coffee.

Oh, speaking of drinking, I need your opinion. The other night Vic came home with tonic water, limes, rum, and Sunny D. He added this to our already very well-stocked liquor cabinet shelf. Is he making it easier than ever for me to get my drink on, and if so, why?

OK, never mind. I know why.

4. wearing

I’m wearing yoga pants and a tank top right now. It’s a shocking change from absolutely nothing.

5. feeling

I woke up with the cat on my head, so I’m feeling a little cat-stabby. Waking to a beautiful blue sky is the perfect remedy, though—and honestly, I love the kitty’s loud purr, though less when it’s accompanied by her claws kneading my scalp. And now that I’ve been up for a several hours—I’m a slow waker-upper—I’m feeling eager to getting things accomplished today. I already went through the week’s mail, did some organizing downstairs, and now I’m working on things in my office. I’ll continue being productive, I think, unless I get on Pinterest. I can get lost in Pinterest for hours. Pinterest is the devil.

6. weather

Along with the beautiful blue sky, the forecast says we’ll get to 82° today. Portland frequently has sucky weather for 4th of July, so this is a nice little surprise. Good weather for pulling weeds in the front yard too—that’s the excuse I’m going to use to spend an extended period of time out in this weather perfection.

7. wanting

I am really, really wanting a vacation—a real one, involving an airport. Right now I don’t want anything else. Maybe a cookie, but mostly a vacation.

8. needing

I am seriously needing to punch some people—specific ones—in the face. Repeatedly.

9. thinking

I’m thinking it’s time to stop writing. I need to tackle my list of projects and spend time in the sunshine. Just one more thing…

10. enjoying

Last night we watched Up in the Air and enjoyed it very much. Like my post about The Hangover the other day, we’re way behind everyone else seeing this movie, so I’m not going to be THAT dork by going on and on about it.

Divine has sweet coconut frozen yogurt right now! I love that stuff. I’d love to enjoy it a lot more than I should.

In closing, here’s a visual of things in my brain these days:

Have a fab holiday.

Aug. 2: Daybook

My bloggy friend Jen E has been doing this Daybook thing for a while now. I like that it makes it (seem) easy to sort out one’s week before it really gets going, so decided to give it a try too.

Today…

Outside my window... it is sunny and beautiful. Bright blue sky. Not too hot yet. I am going to be out there in it soon. This is not a day to stay indoors.

I am thinking... of taking some water aerobics classes. I asked about them this morning at the aquatic center; when I explained my health situation the woman said, “You’d probably feel comfortable in the 11:00 class because there are mostly handicapped people in it.” I’ve never been called ‘handicapped’ before. Not sure I liked it. But I could probably out-aerobicize all o’ them wheelchair folk! I’m so in!

I am thankful for... my family. My good kids (today, anyway). My incredible friends. So many wonderful people in my life. Happiness.

From the kitchen... there’s not much going on. We might attempt cookies this week. I found a recipe for those delicious chocolatey cookies with the dusting of powdered sugar—my friend’s mom made them with us a bunch of times when I was little and just seeing the photo of them brought back happy memories.

I am wearing... jeans and a shirt. I’ll put on a scarf and shoes before I leave the house.

I am creating... an even bigger mess in my attempt to clean and sort closets. It’s wearing me out, but if I stop now, it’ll never get done. And I’m kinda cursing the fact that we recently downsized our garbage can, because we could really use the space right now. Thank goodness the recycle bin can be used for a lot of what we’re discarding.

I am going... shopping with the kids this afternoon. Katie needs a new lunchbox, and Jack needs shirts. Maybe a little something for Mommy too???

I am reading... nothing right now. The next book on my list, though, is by Pamela Ribon. Of course.

I am hoping... to get a nap this afternoon. My sleep during the night has been very tossy-turny and I’m not getting enough.

I am hearing... the kids fight over Vic’s birthday cake downstairs. I am not intervening because I don’t want any for myself. Otherwise, though, I’d be ‘punishing’ them for fighting. (Punishing = Mommy gets all the cake.)

Around the house... we’ve been finding more and more evidence that Casey is losing bladder control. It’s sad, but so very frustrating, too. I want to put a giant wee-wee pad down in every room.

One of my favorite things... is the fountain in our front yard. It makes a lovely sound, and it’s calming. When birds come to drink, all the better. It’s a sure sign that I’m getting old, isn’t it, when I can sit and watch water for long periods of time? Gah.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Jack’s swimming lessons, possibly some water aerobics for handicapped Jen, Mom and Gilly’s visit, blah blah blah. I wrote about this in my last post.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing:

Want to blog your own Daybook? Here’s the info: The Simple Woman’s Daybook.

Jun. 25: IDCEAYWTPFriday

It’s Friday, and that means you get a post called I Don’t Care Enough About You to Write in Transitioning Paragraphs Friday.

• We turned on the air conditioning this week! This makes me all kinds o’ happy. It appears that summer has finally arrived here in Portland-town. Now, everybody get out and enjoy it before it disappears in a few days.
• I finally got those hotel reservations made. I used Hotwire and got a 3-star hotel for $57/night. When I go directly to the chain’s site, the rate is almost three times that. Yay for all my stressing out over it, I guess; it paid off. I don’t recommend sites like Hotwire or Priceline if you have very specific needs, but when you’re somewhat flexible, it can be awesome.
• These are pretty funny: The Stupidest Women’s Products Ever Invented.
• This week we started on a new chores program for the kids. They’re actually kind of enjoying it right now—I’ve been careful to spread their responsibilities out across the week so they don’t have to “work” more than 20 minutes at a time. We created a reward program, and they’re REALLY liking that part. If you’re an iPhone user, you gotta check out iRewardChart, which lets you customize tasks and rewards and then track them over time. Great motivator.
• Yesterday I took my book out on the deck and sat in the sun for about half an hour. I was worried about burning my bald head, and didn’t give much thought to the rest of me. Oops. Here’s how I looked after the sunburn had fully established itself on my chest by evening:
  
   
  Try not to be too distracted by my giant rack. It’s the sunburn I’m show-offing.
• My friend Jim posted this link on Facebook yesterday and I. LOVE. IT. A distraught cat owner and graphic designer neighbor disagree about how the search for a lost cat should best be handled. Careful, you might pee yourself.
• So yeah, we’re leaving for Seattle this afternoon. Kathy’s running in the Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon in the morning and I’m planning to meet her at the finish line—or more specifically, at the ‘V’ reunion spot near the finish line. I’ve never been to one of these big runs; I hope I’ll be able to find her. She got a runner tracking thing so I’ll know her progress throughout the race—I will think it’s sooo cool if it tells me when she trips or if someone cuts her off and she curses at them—I’ll want her to wear it all the time.
• April and I are going up to Bellingham in the evening to meet Pamela Ribon at her book reading/signing. She’s the fab author of Why Girls Are Weird (and pamie.com), and she sent me all of her other books to help me through the boredom of chemo. I love her. I mean, I love that she did that. If I say I love her it makes me sound all stalker-y. I am not stalker-y. I am totally, completely normal and the opposite of frightening, and if David Sedaris’ people try to tell you anything else, don’t believe them.
• Hearing the Thompson Twins makes me smile. Sweet high school memories.
• I’d like you to meet my new friend Val. She’s super-cool and fun. We’ve had four dates so far but it was on our first date that I knew I would love her.
  
  
  Val’s husband is half-Asian, so this is how Victor described her to Katie and Jack when they asked whose house I’d just been at: “She’s a whitey with a weird last name, just like Mom.”
• My grandma has returned to Oregon. My mom and brother-in-law drove her back this week. It’s looking like she’ll need to go into assisted living, which she’s not going to be pleased about; Mom and Uncle Paul are hoping to talk to her about it this weekend. I’m glad I won’t be anywhere near them when she hears that news.
• I recommend y’all read this article by Rev. Patrick S. Cheng, Ph.D.: ‘Love The Sinner, Hate The Sin’ And Other Modern-Day Heresies, recently published at The Huffington Post. I think if more Christians had this Christ-like attitude, they would be seen as a much less sanctimonious, judgmental group. Sadly, the ones who really do feel this way are often too quiet about it and let the jackasses speak for them. Let the nice guys preach on the street corners, not the hateful loonies!

Those of us who walk the Christian path should reject the modern-day heresy of "love the sinner, hate the sin," especially when it comes to LGBT people. Instead, we should focus on the two great commandments of (1) loving God with all of our hearts, souls, and minds, and (2) loving our neighbors as ourselves (see Matt. 22:37-40). Nothing more and nothing less. We should spend far less time worrying about how to make others repent, and far more time worrying about our own repentance, or metanoia. If we truly believe in a gospel of grace as opposed to a cult of works-righteousness, then we should believe that God -- and not humans -- will take care of the rest.

• Speaking of nice guys, I’ve got a lunch date on Monday with two of my favorite people: Sherilee and Kim F’n! How lucky am I? The fun with Kim will continue into Tuesday, when she’ll be my chemo buddy for the day. Fellow patients, ye be warned. We kinda rock the hell out of that chemo room, what with the Pop Rocks and IV pole dancing and noise OMG the noise!
• Here’s an eBay auction that’ll give you a chuckle: http://item.ebay.com/200487505908. I ♥ The Bloggess.
• Except for overnight trips to Salem and downtown Portland, this weekend in Seattle will be my first “vacation” in many months. I’m totally out of practice with packing for out-of-town weekends. Let’s see, what will I forget? It’s usually a toothbrush or deodorant or jammies. Vic often forgets underwear. Katie almost always forgets her much-needed hairbrush, and the last thing on Jack’s mind is anything to do with grooming or cleanliness. I’m gonna be Smart Mommy™ and examine ALL of our bags before we load them into the car.

Have a great weekend!

Jun. 20: It’s just a small request

All I want for Father’s Day is for it to be hot enough that I can say I NEED a mojito.

I know I can make mojitos even when it’s cold outside. If it’s hot out, though, they would be so extra-refreshing that YES, I would NEED one or maybe four. But when it’s gloomy and grey and chilly and often raining and the sun has shined, like, TWICE all month… I want to go away and live at a place with a swim-up bar and I want to do it yesterday.

P.S. to Fancy Anthony™—that thing in the picture above is not a salad.

Feb. 21: All weekend warrior-like

Do you ever start a project and wonder, after you’ve been at it a while, WHAT WAS I THINKING? Me too!

This morning it was sunny and beautiful outside—warm, even, for February—and I was determined to spend at least part of it outside. The front yard needed some cleanup so I put on my yardwork clothes and got my little speakers set up so Train could accompany me. Train is a very good yardwork accompanist, FYI.

About ten minutes in, I began to curse myself for attempting a project so physically demanding. It wears me out to sit in a meeting these days, and I was doing yardwork??? I’m not very smart, am I? So I ended up taking lots of breaks. Train is a very good break accompanist, FYI. It took me way longer than it should have, but I got the yard cleaned up and it looks a lot better. If you can’t tell the difference, please keep it to yourself. Also, you’re mean.

Even more newsworthy, though, is that Victor and I filled up the back of the minivan with Goodwill donations. This was another task long overdue, but we managed to get rid of tons of the crap that’s been piling up in our garage for months. We also filled up our monster-sized recycle bin, clearing up even more space. It was good. It was hard work, but it was good.

It’s been such a long time since we’ve been outside for more than a few minutes at a time, but the past several days have been beautiful and sunny here. Even though we were working, it was lovely to be out in the fresh air. I noticed a lot of the trees in the neighborhood have begun to bud, and there’s new growth on many of the things we planted last spring. About 20 crocuses have bloomed, the vinca is coming back shiny and colorful, and now that I’ve cleaned up dead leaves and other messiness, there’s little indication that winter was ever here. I love it. We’re not going to think about the plants that didn’t make it through the cold. Nope.

I had forgotten how the cat goes bat-shiat crazy when we’re out in the yard with her. I don’t know if she’s showing off, or happy that we’re out there with her, or maybe she’s like that all the time. It’s hilarious. She’ll spend five minutes stalking a leaf, and then suddenly tear across the yard and “hide” in the vinca, then climb halfway up the tree and tear off across the street. Goofy kitty.

I took a very long nap this afternoon and right now am feeling like a big slug. I waaaay overdid it today, but I still feel good about getting lots accomplished so I don’t mind so much. Tomorrow, when you hear my cursing all the way to Nova Scotia, you have my permission to ask if I still feel good about overdoing it today. You can probably guess what my answer will be.

Feb. 19: Many things

The weather’s been gorgeous in Portland most of the week, and people are happy wherever you go. Don’t try to explain the calendar to me; I KNOW that spring is here and nothing—NOTHING!—will convince me otherwise. The crocuses have begun to bloom, and daffodils and tulips are popping up all over. Here’s just one of many things beginning to brighten our front yard:

Besides the weather, though, I’m feeling pretty crappy this week. I’ve actually been more nauseous this week than ever, oddly, and I have the weird acne-like rash again. I running on very little energy and I’m mourning the loss of my eyebrows—they are now officially and finally gone. There’s an awful lot to complain about when it comes to cancer, so I’m going to focus on the positives, briefly.

• Showers take a LOT less time when you don’t have hair to wash.
• No eyelashes means no mascara means I can cry freely and don’t need a mirror to fix myself afterward. Not that I spend a lot of time crying… certainly not while watching Olympians on the medal podiums… no way…
• No eyebrows and no eyelashes pretty much means I put on a little lipstick and I’m good to go. My prep time in the mornings is considerably less. Of course, I look like a ghost and frighten children wherever I go, but at least I got out the door quickly to do it, right?
• Naps.

That is all.

Last night Victor and I went to Legally Blonde: The Musical. It was cute, and VERY like the movie. The UPS guy was hilarious, the dogs were pretty darn good little actors, the actress playing Elle sounded a lot like Reese Witherspoon, and it was all big, sparkly, pink fun. A review of the soundtrack on Amazon compared it to Wicked (ha, not even!) and said the biggest difference was that the Legally Blonde soundtrack was better. “Whatev” is all I have to say to that. Don’t nobody be dissin’ my Wicked!

April and her fam are headed up to Vancouver today to absorb some of that Olympic-ness. They have tickets to a freestyle skiing (aerials) event. What a great memory for the kids! I’m super-duper jealous. Thankfully, she’ll be back in time to drive to Portland to accompany me at chemo on Tuesday. Hooray!

I can’t remember if I mentioned that we were going to go to Medford tomorrow, just for a quick overnight visit. Well, we decided not to go. The idea of packing all of us up, sitting in a car for 10+ hours, and dealing with my grandmother just wears me out. I feel bad, but I need to take care of myself, right? I got kind of a snotty note from Grandma last week and felt like I should try to set things right, but I honestly don’t think I have it in me. Also, it was snotty only because of her own refusal to listen to reason; she thinks I won’t LET her come to my house for a visit, when it’s actually that NOBODY wants her here, including herself! Mom can’t deal with her wheelchair on such a long trip, and Grandma either doesn’t remember or won’t admit that she’s always grouchy at my house because it’s so hard for her to get around. It’s easier for her, apparently,  to put it all on me. Oy.

The dogs have been napping on the couch since I came downstairs this morning, and I just noticed what Scout was cuddling with:

Two of my favorite things: the beagle and the TiVo remote.

Time to go outside and enjoy some of that sunshine. It’s spring now, you know. It is! No really, it is! Stop saying it isn’t! I’m not listening to your negativity. I can’t hear you la la la la la la la la la…

Feb. 5: Shiny Happy Jen

It would have been difficult for this to be a rotten day. It was a happy one, and here’s why:

• Victor had the day off. Well, kind of. He was on call, so we couldn’t really do anything super-awesome, like go to a movie together or venture across town for fun. But we still got to spend most of the day together while the kids were in school, and we went out for lunch. It was a treat. (I kinda like him.)
• My PTO gals are fabulous. We did a little promotion for tomorrow’s carnival at this morning’s assembly, but not until the principal was done lecturing the kids on how naughty they’ve been lately. While we waited and waited and waited, we whispered and giggled like delinquents in the hallway. We might not always be the best examples of good behavior, but I love them girls.
• Sunshine and I spent a couple hours working on the to-do list for the school carnival. That might not sound worthy of celebration to some people, but it was! I was with my Sunshine Girl for the third day this week, we had fun chit-chatting over our perfectionism in sign-creating, and most importantly, the carnival—while a ton of work for everyone involved—is a really fun project. So, y’know, yay us.
• The sun shone almost all day today—it was one of those Portland winter days that absolutely convinces you that spring is on its way. Who cares if it’s grey and dreary tomorrow? Today was gorgeous. It was hard not to smile at the beautiful blue skies and white fluffy clouds.
• The crocuses (crocii?) and daffodils are popping up in our front yard. One of the last things we did in the fall was plant crocus, daffodil and tulip bulbs, and it’s exciting to see the yard coming to life again! Victor picked up some primroses for the large pots we have on the front porch too. These little bursts of color do so much to cheer me on the grey days, and they also act as a motivator to get me outside to spruce things up where I can. Right now I can’t tell the difference between weeds and crocuses, though, so I’m not pulling anything I can’t definitely identify until I see blooms. Smart girl, no?
• Here’s something that made me laugh today: I walked into Jack’s classroom to get some supplies and one of the girls pointed to my scarf and asked, “Why do you have that on your head?” I said, “Because I don’t have any hair anymore.” Her reaction was priceless—her jaw totally dropped. I said, “I know! Weird, huh?” It was funny, her completely honest response, and she stood there speechless, staring at me as I walked out of the room. Kids.

There’s rain forecasted for tomorrow. No matter. Today was truly wonderful.

Apr. 4: Busy Saturday

What a day. Yes, I know it’s barely 8 p.m., so technically it’s not over for a while yet, but I. Am. Done.

It was beautiful all day here—not just sunny, but warm too!—and we took advantage of it. I washed both cars inside and out, cleaned the front porch (lots of moss, weird seedling things that get tracked indoors, and leaves from last fall), hacked at weeds, groomed shrubs, and cleaned two pair of shoes I was wearing last fall when I stepped in fresh dog poo, courtesy of our neighbor’s adorable but very poopy puppy. Victor mowed the lawn and did some yardwork or somethin’. I don’t know. I wasn’t paying attention.

Late this afternoon we decided it was time to shop for a new bed. Evidently there’s a sign on both our foreheads that says, “Yes, Sales Dude, you can talk us into spending twice as much as we want to if you show us your best mattresses first and then your shittiest ones as though they’re our only choices.” The awesome thing is that we picked out a very comfy bed. The un-awesome thing is that it won’t be here for two weeks. This means two more weeks of this back pain we’re both still having. So grrrr until then. And grrrr when we think about how much we spent. But YAY when the bed arrives!

After Mattress Country Bed World Sleep Mart USA we went to Olive Garden for an early dinner. It’s not a favorite of Vic’s or mine, but one of those as-long-as-the-kids-are-happy places. We were at our table for a good 15 minutes and no one came to take our order. I went up to the front and told the hostess, and she ran off to investigate. Five more minutes and still nothing; people who came in after us were getting their food by then. Finally we got up and walked out. As we went past the hostess, she asked if we wanted to speak to a manager—I appreciated that even though she was helpless, at least she pretended to care. No great loss, I guess, if I never go back there again.

We ended up across 205 at Gustav’s. I almost always order the same thing—a delicious Waldorf rotisserie chicken salad—but this time Vic and I decided to be brave and chose several items off their happy hour menu to try out. It was all quite delicious. Bonus: we got K&J to try cheese fondue, and they loved it. Although I didn’t love sharing the fondue, at least we know now that Gustav’s is another good restaurant option for family dinners out.

We went to Target after dinner and got a bunch of Rubbermaid boxes for storing Jack’s Legos. The kids each picked out a new Nintendo DS game. Vic and I got a much-needed shoe organizer for our closet.

And now we’re home and watching Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Jack’s pick for tonight’s Manullang Family Movie Night movie. This, of course, was not Indiana Jones’ last crusade at all, because another movie in the series came out last year (and sucked) so it’s all lies, really. But I like Sean Connery so I’m watching.

Although I’m only kinda watching, because I’m exhausted and just watched this movie a few weeks ago and keep thinking about how I didn’t get a nap today like I planned to and am full of all that heavy German food. So I’m not half-watching the movie so much as falling asleep at my computer. It’s too early to go to bed but too late to nap. Grrrr again.

We got a lot done today, and that’s good. Because I doubt I’ll be nearly as productive tomorrow.

Mar. 18: Let’s just say spring is here, OK?

On my way back from the mailbox this afternoon I spied a little bit o’ purple in our side yard and took a closer look. Here’s what I found:

This makes me oh-so-happy because crocuses/crocii mean spring is here. Of course, sometimes crocuses/crocii bloom too early and then it snows even when it’s supposed to be spring and then I think the world is just a cruel joke and we’re all just its idiot victims. But this year? This year (I’m deluded and) know that these little flowers in my yard mean spring is here.

I walked around and saw that one of my tulips is popping up nearby.

This makes me happy too, but the callapidders have already gotten to the leaves and I’m pretty sure by the time the flower is ready to bloom it’ll be gobbled up completely. We’ve got some aggressive vegetarians living in our yard. I’m not holding my breath that I’ll ever see this tulip any prettier than it is in this picture, but I still love that it’s giving us an effort.

It’s beautiful and sunny and warm in Portland today. I had energy once I got up and started moving around this morning, and I even went in to work for a little while. And, of course, I was greeted by these little garden gems when I got home. Not a bad day for Jen. I hope yours didn’t suck either.

June 25: I hate outside

This afternoon I went out on our deck with more skin exposed than normal. I was not even close to being nude so please don’t call the cops. I just had shorts and a tank top on and that, for me, is showing more skin than normal. (For my neighbors that are reading this, I’m sorry you had to see that. I don’t think it’ll happen again.)

I sat on one of the deck chairs for six seconds. Possibly ten minutes. I got hot very quickly. I also saw a bee. I remembered at that moment that I hate sunbathing and wondered why the hell I was even out there so I went back inside.

As I write this, approximately eight hours has passed since my outdoor adventure. An hour ago I noticed that my chest and shoulders are BRIGHT RED. I’ve never had a sunburn take so long to show itself. I am now grouchy and whiny and uncomfortable, and I think Vic is going to drug me so I’ll stop telling him how grouchy and whiny and uncomfortable I am. I’m gonna peel, and you KNOW that’ll be lovely. Six farking seconds in the sun and I’m a lobstery bitch! And I risked being stung by a bee.

Nature sucks.