July 13: Project suckage

It’s my blog and I’ll whine if I want to.

My neck hurts. My back hurts. My knees hurt. My butt hurts. Why? I’ve been painting. Jumping onto and down from chairs and ladders, kneeling on the floor, reaching, stretching, bending… and I’m not even done.

This is the big pisser of the whole thing: I just painted for four hours and only crossed ONE thing off my list. I hate my list.

Here’s what said list looks like:

  1. Prime crown moulding
  2. Paint crown moulding
  3. Touch up wall/ceiling paint

Here’s what said list should look like:

  1. Remove cobwebs from ceiling
  2. Move all living room and dining room furniture to center of room
  3. Pick up all the books that fell out of the shelves when I moved the bookcases to the center of the room
  4. Krazy-glue all the wedding china that fell out of the china cabinet when I moved it to the center of the room
  5. Wonder why we needed all this china anyway when we never use it
  6. Prime crown moulding
  7. Re-paint ceiling where I farked up on the primer
  8. Re-paint wall where I farked up on the primer
  9. Tape ceiling
  10. Tape wall
  11. Paint crown moulding
  12. Remove tape
  13. Touch up ceiling where I farked up on the paint
  14. Touch up wall where I farked up on the paint
  15. Nap
  16. Use a teeny, tiny art paintbrush to touch up crown moulding where I farked up on the primer and/or paint and got it on the wall and/or ceiling
  17. Move furniture back into place
  18. Dust the backs of the sofas because oh lord, how’d they get so dusty?
  19. Re-tune piano
  20. Remind self that next time we paint, the wall and ceiling and crown moulding will be the same farking color
  21. Also, there will never, ever be a next time

Is it any wonder this project sat incomplete for five years? It feels like it’s been five years since I started on it this morning. And I am not done AND the day’s not even half over. AND that’s just today; yesterday I painted the family room and kitchen. The day before that I painted the base trim throughout the house. I do not want to paint anymore. Ever. EVER.

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