July 9: Lemon Drop fixin’s

Alright, so The Lovely Lori wants Lemon Drops at the bash and I always do what Lori wants. Problem is, the only Lemon Drops I’ve had—at a two-drink minimum impersonator show in Vegas—weren’t very good. They were alcohol-y, though, so my brother-in-law grabbed them as soon as I made the “Yuck, sour!” face. While I remember the show we were seeing, I think Ron had the better evening.

So where do I find a good recipe? There’s Webtender, which gives me six very different versions of Lemon Drops. Joe Bartender’s got a pretty good variety. DrinkNation has an extensive recipe collection too. How am I supposed to choose?

Here’s the tastiest sounding one I’ve found so far (I likes me the sugary cocktails):

• 1 oz. citrus-flavored vodka
• 1 oz. lemon juice
• 1 tsp sugar

Shake with ice and strain into a shot glass rimmed with sugar

And here’s what I think is a bumpkin version, ‘specially if you replace “vodka” with “moonshine”:

• 1 oz. vodka
• 2 Tbsp lemonade (Country Time)
• Mountain Dew

Mix lemonade mix with vodka in a cocktail glass. Fill with Mountain Dew. Stir well and add ice.

Maybe Lemon Drop Jell-o shots?

Lori and Kath, I know you’ve had the good ones. I know you’ve had them because you call me every year from San Francisco asking me to Google for the booziest drinks that will get you boob-grazed by Jackie Mason, and once those were Lemon Drops. So give suggestions, please.

One consideration: I don’t have all the fancy glasses and I can’t bear the thought of serving something in a plastic cup that belongs in a martini glass. But I can serve Jell-o shots in Dixie cups, right? (Yeah, who wants to come to this hillbilly party now???)

I think I need Debi. She’s, like, the best booze wench ever. Or maybe the real experts Erin and Kevin should play bartender?

BTW, there will be lots of other things to drink at the party, so our teetotaler guests won’t go thirsty.

The type of help I need is debatable, but I think we can all agree that I do need help.